Need brutally honest opinions and advice please, before I send myself insane!

[uhohwhathaveidone]

Ohh...I've messed up, I think.

Long story short (ish!), I have children in a local primary school. One of my children has a rather cute teacher who is only a year or two older than me, and I thought he might have a bit of a 'thing' for me - just from little things that I've probably over analysed and turned into something from nothing!

Basically it was just things like we've had quite a few meetings since September, and I thought I picked up a bit of chemistry as he had a twinkle in his eye, seemed to have this half smile on his face a lot of the time while he was talking to me, looked over at me a lot (during assemblies where the parents are invited, he would be looking in my direction a lot; I noticed out of the corner of my eye, and when I looked over at my child the teacher would suddenly look at my child too, as if he'd followed my gaze), a few times I walked past him on my way to the school office, and when I looked over at him his eyes would dart away, as if he'd been looking at me, he always seemed quite 'aware' of himself when I was around; when I like someone (or hate them!) I tend to try and act normal, but get it wrong and end up overemphasising my movements; he'd do this and once I was in the office (I volunteer in school sometimes), he walked past the window, then backed up, looked around the room for a few seconds (it's used as a storeroom and I was the only one in there) then glanced at me and walked off.

Anyway - he suddenly went a bit colder towards me; I have kept acting the same way, which mostly consists of when I have to walk past him in the mornings, making sure I'm talking to my children so my eyes are focused on them and I don't have to look at him (too shy!), only talking to him when I have to, pretty much ignoring him and avoding eye contact...so I don't get why his behaviour suddenly changed.

All of a sudden, he's laughing and joking with everyone else (literally), and not even saying hello to me, let alone laughing and joking! Now, anytime he sees me approaching the school gate with my children, he'll turn and go into the playground out of sight. Thought I was imagining it, but on the days I've sent the kids in on their own and 've stayed out of sight, he keeps his feet firmly rooted outside the gate and never goes into the playground!

He even ignored me yesterday...went to pick my child up, child came out upset over something so as there was only me and one other mum left in the playground, I though I'd quickly ask the teacher what was wrong with LO; he was looking in my direction as I was walking, yet when I got 6 feet away from him, he suddenly turned and went back into the classroom! The other mum looked at me and then him with a "what the...?" face and I was mortified!

So - sorry for the essay - bad gramma/punctuation is due to me trying to keep this as brief as possible - but I really need to know what's going on.

Why would he act this way; did I get it wrong when I thought he liked me, or could I have inadvertently done something to upset or annoy him, do you think?

[countrykitten]

The key word is 'if' isn't it?

[ObscuredByClouds]

I really, really, really hope none of my students' dads think this way about me. I try my best to be professional but after reading the rest of this thread...who knows what signals I give out unwittingly!

OP, saying it is none of the teacher's business regarding your child's reading is ridiculous, even if the staff Jenner who you were discussing it with was an HLTA.

[ObscuredByClouds]

*member, not Jenner

[chenin]

Yes but that was the OP's reasoning behind the fact the teacher MUST fancy her... it's none of his business and yet he had to come over and sit down whilst I was there which means he really must fancy me...

OP... I hope you can move on from this and forget him totally 'in that way'. As for saying he is still cute... well... that means you can't...

[nkf]

The way you describe the interactions seem a bit sort of hyper to me. You are too alert to everything and overthinking everything. He is a teacher. You are a parent. The rest is all guff and weirdness. The fact that you don't realise how weird it is makes me think you are struggling with something and this teacher is a focus for that. Are you very anxious about your child? Are you alone? There is something going on but I don't think it's a flirtation or a budding romance. It's something else.

[countrykitten]

Anyone ever come across De Cleramboult's Syndrome? Not saying it's what the OP has but.....hmmmm....

Think it was featured in the novel Enduring Love by Ian McEwan.

[WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome]

Ooh, and it was on Lewis as well! Watched that episode on Friday.

[uhohwhathaveidone]

Oh for goodness sake. No.

hellie - that isn't what I said!

I said that it might have showed that he wasn't feeling as awkward around me as I thought - NOT because he fancied me, but because he HASN'T NOTICED MY PERCEIVED WEIRDNESS!!!

In other words...he still sees me as just a parent and I don't need to worry that I've made an utter dick of myself. Apart from on here of course, but then MN is known for being a bit 'like this'.

[uhohwhathaveidone]

And just out of interest, have none of you ever been involved with workmates, or even seen someone in a pub that you liked the look of?

I mean...were you really completely oblivious to the fact your OHs fancied you until they actually came up and asked you out? Or you went home with them after one date - however you all got together.

Generally, flirting is about eye contact and all that shit so really, I don't think I WAS being obsessive; not saying that he does like me, just that the way I looked for it wasn't over the top weird - I didn't follow him round like a lost puppy, but in a small school (former church so you know how they're laid out) it's almost impossible not to bump into every member of staff more than once in a day.

I thought I noticed that when we chanced upon each other (yes...CHANCED UPON....and it was always him coming into the places I was...again, not because he liked me, but just that I got given a place to do some job which was usually the old PPA room - which happens to be across from the staff room and he would obviously go in there a lot), there was something different about the way he acted around me, than everyone else. And yes it may be he thought I was a freak but he was acting that way from the moment I met him so he's obviously very good at seeking out the nutters, if that's the case.

[mammadiggingdeep]

Seriously- is this STILL being discussed. 3 little words. Give it up.

[uhohwhathaveidone]

You could always try...not reading? Maybe?

[uhohwhathaveidone]

And for the record...erotomania is what those people that are in love with celebrities have.

Where they think the person concerned is more in love with them than they are with the person, they can't be happy without them etc.

Bit over dramatic don't you think? For someone who misread a lot of looking over and generally being awkward around me?

[uhohwhathaveidone]

You say I'm pathetic, then make a comment like that. Don't be so silly!

[izzyizin]

Don't you have anything else to do, OP? Or are you attempting to set a record for the most hours racked up on mumsnet in a weekend?

[UnderSailingOrders]

Come on OP, whether you imagined the flirting or not, it's clearly stopped dead in its tracks now. Nothing good will come of you obsessing about it.

@ the guitar comment. Are we at the same school?

[uhohwhathaveidone]

I've already said I'm going to carry on as normal, treating him like any other teacher - it's the witches of eastwick that are carrying this thread on!

[UnderSailingOrders]

Ha just seen the baby faced, nice smile, slightly plump comment - definitely the same school

Glad to hear it OP, hope you manage to get the normal parent-teacher relationship back.

[uhohwhathaveidone]

Thanks :)

[UnderSailingOrders]

How did the school run go?

[PostBellumBugsy]

Cringed my way through this thread. Aren't there school guidelines about professional behaviour with parents? Surely you can't have every male primary school teacher flirting with all the mothers?

Wouldn't those guidelines be in place for the very reason this thread illustrates?

[Mimishimi]

Nothing the OP has said actually confirms that he was, in fact, flirting with her or with any of the other parents.

[uhohwhathaveidone]

Why on earth has this been started back up again?!

And mimi - I don't feel lonely, or needy...for the record.

Everyone can misinterpret things, whether it's from a teacher or the guy in the corner shop - teachers HAVE dated parents before, so why you seem to be implying that teachers are immune to liking a parent just because of their particular line of work, I don't know.

As I said though, I misread things. Why does that make me psycho