The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

for now im sitting all in the side car. x

Smells well done for posting, stick with us and we can help you. But you have to do your part too. You have to accept that help. You have to want it more than you want anything else in your life, more than you want that next drink.

How far are you prepared to go. Are you really willing to risk losing your family or are you ready to kick that wine witch to the kerb.

It's a massive mountain to climb but you can do it. You do it like the rest of us. One step at a time.

One day at a time.

One minute at a time.

So, for now, put the lid on the wine. Go and brush your teeth. Put the kettle on. Have something to eat and stay with us. Just for now x

Jango I don't think moderating is for everyone. And it's not always helpful to try. I would suggest that anyone who wants to try 'controlled drinking' goes a good long stretch without anything at all first. Because if you can't control that, you won't have a hope of controlling occasional drinking.

Let's just not drink today.

MIFLAW used to say that the person who had been sober longest was the one who got up earliest that day. Because not one of us can really be sure of what will happen tomorrow, so why worry about it. Let's just deal with today, here, right now.

Really really struggling. Tired and fed up despite all the success. Usual pattern, hit the self.destruct button.
Drinking lime and soda but really struggling tonight.....

jango moderating your drinking.... well some would look at 7 days abstinence followed by 2 'small' glasses as moderation, but I think the real key is what is going on in your head? If you were entirely comfortable with having 2 small bottles (which btw is probably somewhere between 4-5 units, and already more than the recommended daily allowance for a woman) once in 7 days then you'd not be feeling guilty or troubled.

But I'm guessing that you were 'trying' not to drink and then gave in. And maybe having 'given in' you feel more likely to drink some more, and less resolved about simply having another 7 days sober?

That is not the thinking of 'people who drink 'normally' and are not troubled by any type of alcoholic thinking.

Personally I do think that moderation or controlled drinking is possible, but only once your head is free of your alcoholic habits / thinking.

MA Ma ma Please, please, please keep on going. Leap up and down and look out of your windows and you'll see me across the water waving and cheering you on.

And if you can't see me - just leap up and down anyway. It will help with your exercise programme and if you had any drink in your hand, you'd spill the whole bloody lot.

You DO NOT NEED to drink. You're a fab woman, and you deserve all the happiness and delight and normal ups and downs of sobriety.
xxx

ma I sent you a pm. You CAN do it x

smells what a lot you have on your plate :( BUT you know you have a problem too - it's a cliche but that really is half the battle won. I don't much like the word or the state of 'denial' but I was in it for years. As soon as you realise that what you're doing is wrong and not 'normal' that's when you can start to take steps to sort it out. I'm fallen off the wagon more times than I can count but I know that I'll do it one day - it must be horrible hearing your dh saying he's had enough but maybe he's desperate. My children are the ones that shame me. I don't know what to advise you to do, only you know what will help, but I know that everyone here will support you through it. Stay on board! As for the genetic thing - tricky one that - my dad died when i was very small - drunk on a motorbike and I have always been told he was a drinker, so maybe it is genetic. Eldest dd has to watch herself too - I worry about that, but I think that she's seen me being disgusting so will manage to keep herself together. Just be proud of yourself for getting this far xxx

smells well done for being brave and making the first post. are you getting any other help? talked to your GP?

I think the question of whether there is an alcohol gene is a red herring, some people have relatives with drinking problems, but not everyone does.

ma don't give up now! if your lime and soda isn't working tonight, try something different - cup of herbal tea? chocolate? a man with a Terrys Chocolate Orange and a feather duster?

Thank you Venus tried to reply to your pm but don't know if it sent.sorry for being such a wibblwr tonight, no real reason other than fatigue. Thought I was doing well but she,s still there, the WW, just waiting for me to run out of steam.

Going to watch the lovely Gordon Buchanan and his polar bears which I have on iPlayer. Why is this so fucking shit tonight?

Ma she's bringing in the big guns because she knows how strong you've got. She's flanking you because she knows you're tired and vulnerable. But you have outwitted her so far and you'll do it again.

We are all in this together and so far, you've been leading the way, carrying the flag and blowing the trumpet (must be all those healthy veggies ).

Pass the banner onto someone else for now and get yourself right in the middle of us. We'll all help to shield you until she gives up and goes away to lick her wounds again.

< issues war cry 'Amazonian Battle Babes Unite' !!! >

C'mon Ma, I'm here for you too...... I'm hearing Faire's war cry and I'm ready!!

You can do this, you can. Kick the ww where it hurts and enjoy it!!

Don't mind me, just marking my lurking spot. On the bus and not in the sidecar I am proud to say!

Aaargh, never seem to find an appropriate moment.

Fuck the fuck off all wine witches!

Appreciated the lovely hug Green I guess my past does make me more vulnerable to those sort of thoughts.

Ma Can you post and let us know how you are holding out? Only less than 3.5 hours to go before you've overcome the hurdle. Hugs! Lovely words, there Faire.

Smells I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you right now. My Mother had a double mastectomy - and still couldn't give up drinking. It seems like a good solution when the world is too hard or too unfair but we all know it's not the answer and just robs us of hope,self-worth and our health. Have you spoken to your Doctor about it? I think some RL help would be very valuable for you right now - plus, post here, as often as you want/need. Take care. Wise words for you from East and Faire

Jango Only you will be able to work out whether controlled drinking is for you or not. But even if it is, you will need a good long period of abstinence (think I read in one article that 3 months was recommended). Don't beat yourself up or let the 'I'm on a diet and I've eaten one biscuit, I've blown the diet, may as well eat the whole packet' thought get you. (Says me!)

Bit achy from the fall but otherwise, OK tonight. Shop is shut, no alcohol in the house. (Oh, and text from Tasty Farmer (who's been in regular contact) tonight asking to meet me for a drink. Will take my time and then graciously agree [grins] me thinks.)

Day 1 (Mark 3) done. Onwards and upwards.

Hey worried well done for not drinking. And joining in the battle cry

Purple good to hear you're holding up ok. Sounds like you're on the mend x

worried -well done you for posting. And well done for getting onto the bus and out of the side car. If you feel like it you could tell us about yourself....? But if you just want to sit quietly in the bus, that's OK too.

Ma Hope I'm not too late for the battle cry. Tonight has been by far the toughest for me too - tiredness, weekend feeling, memory fade and resolve crumbling, very close to drinking tonight, but I'm here still holding your hand and proud of both us us - lets get through till tomorrow and see how we feel then.

It is pure bloodymindedness which has got me through this evening as I have made a big deal of dry January on facebook and want to see it through. Dig in Ma xx

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for lovely posts today. I really appreciate it.

faire - thanks for the reassurance. I did wonder how many people tell everyone they're alcoholics - it seems to be a big issue for AA (which I'm not going to, but thinking about it). But difficult.

purple - hope your knee is feeling better by now. It's terrible, isn't it, that 'oh, it's posh/a celebration/a present, I have to be allowed to drink it' ... as if we think our alchy-soaked brains will know the difference. I hope day 1 went well.

venus - thank you so much for that amazing post. That was spot on. I need to take it on board.

isinde - thank you, you are lovely. I'm glad to know it's not just me, too.

gugg - hello! I'm just planning to keep on trying one day at a time. Hope things are working out for you. 10 days - that must feel amazing!

smells - hello, nice to 'meet' you. You've come to the right place, these babes are wonderful.

I'm ok today - I'm afraid I slept pretty much until now. Oops. But hopefully I'm on the right track. No drinking tomorrow, either.

So ... what is this I'm hearing about a book club?!

Oh thank you all So much. I seem to have something in my eye.....well, there's no point posting on here if I'm not going to be honest so gulp I failed. I had one glass. Fucking fuckingnfuck. I chucked the rest and have slapped myself with a fish and will be back on track tomorrow.
guggs and green I am so sorry to have let you down. So very sorry to have disappointed all the brave babes but your fabulous support and battle cry is ringing in my ears and I'
m not fucking giving up. I'm NOT.
On another note, how are we going to work the book club? I have "the black house" by Peter May up for grabs.

Hi babes,

This bus is cracking along! smells welcome to the bus You are definitely making a good decision in reading and posting here. Does your consultant know you are drinking? Sorry,don't mean to be rude.

ma please don't. It isn't worth that one glass. Do you have any chocolate? olives? ice cream? Anything to hand you can put in your mouth instead?

baby that was a very nice thing to say and I appreciate it. x

joey You're one of those women who get young men to do housework wearing nothing but an apron,aren't you? I can tell from your posts, you know.

very welcome! It can seem hard to find the right time but you are very welcome. Listen to venus and faire and mouse that are the wiiiisse women on t'bus.

purple and LRD hope you are feeling a little better lovelies. x
Big wave to tiger how do those pants fit now?
Well done to anyone who's managed to stop or cut down or keep up with this crazy bus tonight.

ma blimey love, you haven't let anyone down. We were all looking in the other direction anyway.

I had a massive trigger moment tonight because I watched eastenders and they were all drinking wine. 'cept they weren't 'cos it's not real and they were just sipping watered down apple juice. Very hard to get booze out of the brain.

Ah ma what self control, I'm still loving the 'new' you. One glass? Sure, that's nothing in the grand scheme of things. One glass in ten days? Forget about it, you went right up to the witch, looked her square in the eye and then turned your back on her. Bring it on

I'm on my kindle so won't be swapping but happy to recommend. I liked most of the Philippa Gregory books but especially The Other Boleyn Girl and same ones of that series. The Little House is really good too.

I liked The Hunger Games trilogy.

At the moment I've just started the 100 Year Old Man, got it for 20p on amazon. Will be off to bed soon 'cos I want to read a bit more of it.