The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

Afternoon babes,

We are half way through this horrible month and the evenings are getting lighter by 2 or 3 mins every day, so hold on, it's all going to get better soon

faire thank you, much appreciated x.

ma I've read you post about your brother and I'm very sorry to hear that.

baby you can ask me about being a newbie at aa but only if you want- no pressure.

purple you sound stronger. good, keep going.

tiger and LRD I had the 'on no I've had a skinful' dream a couple of nights ago. Just our brains sorting all the crap out and our bodies remembering how it all worked.

Sorry to not namecheck properly but ds has already watched shedloads of children's tv

Re: culture and drinking. A friend who works with 'youff' arranges a special trip for them, with their parents permission of course, they walk through town on an average saturday evening and just look at all the crap going on because of alcohol.I don't think that they go out that late but there is plenty of rows and staggering and vomming to be had early on.

Ds is only 3 but I'm already planning on kidnapping him and all his friends for a boozewalk when they're old enough.

Keep strong everyone, will no one think of those poor sea creatures?

guggen I would love to hear about your experience, I'm worries it will be so far out of my comfort zone, it'll freak me out too much, I'm very easily affected by people and situations so your help would be most welcome x x x x

Thanks for the support Soma, Joey, LRD and Koti

Soma If you watch any of those police/emergency services programmes, they are inevitably about people causing trouble when drunk. It's an awful sight - but some of them, having seen the footage the next day, don't seem at all worried or ashamed?!

LRD I have had several occasions recently, usually when driving, when I feel a bit 'out of it'. If I had been drinking I would put it down to that - but I haven't. Weird!

The meeting was actually quite good Koti. I was honest about my Christmas 'hiccup'. Told her I was pleased that, although I'd slipped up, I have kept trying to give up and feel more hopeful about being able to give up. As for how long, who knows, but at least I know I have done 7 weeks and can strive for that again. ODAAT

Whilst we were talking, it became clear that my inability to ask for help when I need it has been a handicap to sorting this problem - all problems, in fact. Most of my life I've not been able to ask for help from the people who should have been there to help me - either because of their alcohol problem or a dragon step-mother's jealousy. Coming on the Bus has bridged a huge gap in that I turn to you lot when I'm struggling. In the past I had no-one and felt isolated, like I was the only person struggling with alcohol problems. She's suggested, as well as you gorgeous guys, I should keep some phone numbers on a card by the 'phone - a friend's number (can't do that one), Alcohol Services (apparently, there is always someone to talk to in office hours), AA and even the Samaritans - and build on the help I've sought from you lovely lot into actually talking to someone in real life/time. She said it may not stop me from picking up a bottle but it might - and it's worth a try. Also, I need to look at what made me fall off the wagon Bus (illness, money probs, pushing myself too hard) and see what coping strategies I can use instead of wine.

She's suggested CBT therapy and wants me to join their Day Programme. It's a therapy group which they run.. It sounds a little less intimidating than AA (sorry to those who have done well with AA) and I'm really keen to go.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about the stigma that drinkers suffer from (from earlier post). I said I thought there was less sympathy for people with alcohol problems than nicotine addiction. Not only did she agree but said that society is even less tolerant of mothers with a problem. Unfair but I guess she's right.

So, all in all a positive appointment. She wants to see me again next week - which feels a bit like a safety net somehow.

Hope everyone is feeling good tonight. Day 7 here and 4lbs lighter - oh, and smiling!

dashes in
waves
dashes out

purple Lovely positive post to read :) Amazing the difference a sober week makes :) x

Thanks for passing on all that stuff Purple

It's funny how talking to people really helps - not that they offer solutions but that the act of talking, of being in contact with someone, can make a huge difference to how you are feeling. I should try to remember this because I can get very wrapped up into a stressy chrysalis and find it very hard to reach out of it

Okay the Jason Vale book - who has read it - what do you think? I'm thinking it's probably not for me if it's the same as Alan Carr? I read easy way to stop smoking and quit first attempt for several years (now struggling again)

Tried the Alan Carr easy way to stop drinking and just couldn't accept some of the basic premises (we are ALL moving towards alcoholism and that there is only one way to go, there are no benefits etc etc) So whilst I thought there was some good stuff in there it did not convince me in the way the smoking book had - Is Jason Vale the same?

purple I'm very pleased that there is a smile on your face today.

baby I don't know how to pm people (not overly bright) so I'll pop some things on here and attempt to pm you tomorrow. I've spent all day in the company of 2 toddlers. That's a good day in my book,but I'm not sure if anything I say makes sense. See, you don't need alcohol to make the room spin, I will let you have ds 'help' for an afternoon, for free!

Righto:it IS hard listening to some people share,some peeps are going through the most horrendous times but they have all been sober longer than me and are facing the facts sober.It's that part that makes it so much harder to pick up a bottle. If I hadn't gone to a meeting yesterday then I would be pouring a glass now and the whole sorry cycle would begin again.

I thought it would be scary going to my first meeting but it was great. I walked in with a smartly dressed lady a few years older than me (tho that is quite old)

I'm not bothered by god being mentioned and cheerfully join in with the serenity prayer. I'm am atheist but view aa as therapy or collaborative problem solving.

The bus is home and where I really share. xx
Don't suppose you are in the south East?

Hi Green the JV book is very similar to Allen Carr. There is a good one with an Ace title 'Don't let the bastards grind you down' what every one in early recovery needs to know. It does go down the 12 step route and is aimed at abstainer's rather than those who want to cut down. But written in a clear chatty non judgemental way. Those babes who are new to Aa would find it really useful. It is not on their prescribed list either.
Two years ago I was adamant that I did not want to stop drinking just cut down. Then I realised that simply I can't so abstaining it is. Everyone's journey is so different on here, but we all have the same aim, to not have a destructive relationship with alcohol.

hope everyone is doing well tonight. sorry not to reply to all of you but I have read and am feeling quite strong. am cutting down to 10 units per day - that's one bottle of wine or 5 can sof cider. it seems amazingly little at the mo. just putting off the first glass. it's hugely encouraging how the urge wanes if you resist for even half an hour. i know it returns but each 'resist' reminds you that you can do it.

TRINITY - You are inspirational - you give me hope.

BABY - you may well have done the worst. the first 72 hrs are the worst then it gets better rapidly. Do consider if you need some meds though, in rare circumstances withdrawal can be dangerous. I probably shouldn't be saying this but having researched cold turkey, being terrified of seizures, if you get very ill and have no access to medical intervention a small amout of alcohol may be in order. i just mean until you can get to a doctor. please don't use that a get out - i know i have in the past. just in emeergencies is what i mean.

MA i am sad at your very difficult situation. we allknow the trurh of having to want healing for yourself but it must be terrible to see someone you love like that.

PURPLE great for the weight loss. my sister had CBT when her DD went off the rails and she had to move house after having bricks through her window from gang members with whom her DD had gt on th wrong side of. she was in a state and drinking far too much even though she doesn't have alcohol problems. only saying that to illustrate the sverity of her situation. she got a self help CBT book and worked at it religiously. it helped her more than the ADs long term and still uses it. Go for it. i hope it works.

love to you all

huey thanks for the recommendation. I'm going to have a look on amazon.

kotinka The bus is such a safe place to talk things over. x

gugg I treat the rooms in exactly the same way. Collective therapy is a really nice way to approach it. I use my meets to clear my head for an hour or so and always identify with at least one person's share. I never want to drink after a meet either Go in with an open mind get what you want out of it. Think my book was from amazon. Really recommended! Xx

gugg I treat the rooms in exactly the same way. Collective therapy is a really nice way to approach it. I use my meets to clear my head for an hour or so and always identify with at least one person's share. I never want to drink after a meet either Go in with an open mind get what you want out of it. Think my book was from amazon. Really recommended! Xx

i would just add that CBT is a fab tool for long term use as it gets you into the habit of examining why you do what you do. in my opinion it links into HALT and waiting for the craving to pass. if you are skilled at stopping and thinking why then this seems to be useful in stopping the compulsiveness of addiction.

only a thought.
still haven't opened the bottle

Can u go another half hoursmells? Just half an hour? And for gods sake give yourself a nicer name!

MA just for you i'm going to, cheers (strange confused emoticon - can someone tell me how to get them?)

i will try to change name - don't know how just now - what about spunk?

seriously though, going into my 15 yr olds bedroom is retch-inducing. i'm also sick of all the stiff, single socks littered about the floor. does he have no shame?
how's your mum MA?

YY ma!
What'd ya think smells? smellsofroses? smellthecoffee?

KOTINKA - 2lbs is great. good luck for friday but don't hang all your hopes on one day. you know if you keep going by summer you will be slim and gorgeous. you're in it for the long haul.
reading all your previous posts you've had loads to deal with. keep strong. i'm trying to keep strong. you know you can do it.

i really think the key to doing what you want to do is the belief that it can happen. i also know that's easier said than done, but everyone, keep on keeping on.

sorry to waffle

XX