unsure what im doing

[kittykat10]

hi i asked for advise previously about friends with benifits, well i didnt actually go down that line although we did have sex before xmas before i found out he was seeing some one , please dont think bad of me if id known i wouldnt have but i did and nothing can change that.
i did it as i wanted to be wanted , right now i feel i have nothing no job, no uni place any more long story but i messed up at work nothing major in my eyes but obviously it is for the breast feeding mafia we have in this country which has basically lost me my job.
any way just so low now even negative attention from ex means world to me , i have been texting some one and we seem to get on well but i cant seem to pin him down to meet me.
i know people wont have the answers but i guess i needed some one to talk to.

[kittykat10]

they busy they have exams soon , and its ok i am tempted when i see team leader in week to say about the restrictions mentor put on me as well nowt to loose i wouldnt work for this boss again, this may sound vindictive but if you dont fit in to her standards which to be honest are stupid ( not one client had a babd thing to say about me , it was a collegeue who basically sucks up to clients as they loaded )you dont fit in, i cared deeply about my clients but as i didnt meet targets im out .

[patienceisvirtuous]

Kitty, you have had some really good advice here. What about writing yourself a plan for the next week?

[kittykat10]

hi
feeling a bit brighter today, i actually do have a mini plan for the day think im better taking a day at a time at the mo but i hope it ok if i share it with you as you seem so nice and helpful.
plan for today: tidy my room, mop floor , walk my dog , saw a walking exercise thing in a mag id like to try, do some washing and a bit of reading and maybe sit down and actually watch a film coz all i seem to have been doing is having them on in background. it migfht not seem much but i have been so low and stressed recently even things like walking the dog hasnt happened and silly as it sounds she is my baby and ive let her down so she deserves better so need to take her out.

[Allergictoironing]

Good girl! You do sound so much brighter today .

Taking one day at a time is a very good plan if you are suffering from depression. Not silly at all saying your dog is so important to you, and holding on to that and your responsibilities to her will help you keep going. Can I suggest you add one more thing to your list of things to do? Look into changing your GP to someone you can open up to, that's quite a high priority. If you can't face that today, or if you feel that once you've made your "day plan" changing it is stressful or makes you panic a bit, then make it part of tomorrow's plan.

Try to get into a routine so certain things HAVE to happen each day whether you feel up to it or not e.g. walking your lovely dog, not letting hair washing go more than x days, always making sure the kitchen area is sparkling. then add in that day's "specials". This could be as little as planning to watch a particular film and really watch it, or reading a chapter of a self help book, and make sure you damn well do them!

Be careful not to slip into the habit of putting off things you don't want to do (like changing your GP), but space these out so you have a day when you have to do a stressful thing then reward yourself with a slightly easier day. Slowly stretch yourself so you end up having more things on your day plan over time.

You do seem to have bottomed out in the depression stakes and are starting to climb the long steep path back up from the depths. You may want to look at some of the forums that deal with mental health going forwards, as this is no longer a relationship thing but more about your recovery

[kittykat10]

i posted on other bit x thanks for helping