I have finally told boyfriend of 9 months that it's over. Happy new year eh?
Its not been great for, well most of the time we have been together, I rushed into it too soon after splitting with husband, and him the same. We were a crutch for each other when we had no one else, but I know that I put up with too much because of this.
He was always late, every single time we arranged to meet/him to come over. He is in major financial difficulties due to overspending in th past so I have paid for stuff, more than I could afford, more than I should have done. His ex is still in his life, it felt she was always waiting in the wings.. Ringing and texting 5+ times a day. He would turn up here 3 or 4 times a week, I'd cook a meal, he'd watch tv or play on his phone.. I think on 9 months he did the dishes 3 times maybe?
Then of course there was the incident. He got drunk, we had a row, he punished a hole in my wall and drove off. Still I didn't have the balls to say to him enough is enough. I have cried more this christmas than I have in the past 10 years, because of him, but also because of what I have allowed myself to come. It was my birthday a few days ago.. He ruined it, but still I asked him to come over last night, thinking that maybe we could spend the night together, that it would be nice. He was late, I bought the take away, he drank 2 bottles of wine and was on his fone.
He's checked my emails, he has threatened to "do in" my ex husband (who I have a good relationship with), he has stopped me from going out for tea with a work colleague, kicked off because I didn't tell him that the venue (a local pub) that my work Xmas do was at had hotel rooms... Even though I only went for 1 drink and left. He made me change my phone number because I had 3 texts from a very casual ex asking how I was... Despite me not replying to them.
I needed to get rid of him didn't I? Why do I feel so sad? Ds is with his dad for a few days and I just feel so lonely.
Sorry for the list and the ramble. I just needed to write it all down.