RAGING AT 'D'P

[ohchristmastree]

I'm needing to vent, I know what needs to be done. I posted very late on Xmas eve saying that dp had went out drinking and hadn't came home. He eventually came in at about half 3. Xmas morning he didn't get up to watch ds open his presents but I relented and let him come to my mums for dinner as planned, partly because I felt bad about him sitting alone and partly because I didn't want to be answering questions all day and it turning into being all about me.

Not only Xmas eve, he was out on the 23rd, stayed in at my mums on Xmas day but had a drink, was working boxing night and last night. He's going out tonight, I text him to tell him it was ridiculous as we haven't spent any time to ourselves over Xmas and he text saying 'I was going to stay in but yet again you have pushed me into going out. Do you never learn?' Raging doesn't even cover how I feel about this message.

Anyway, this is just another thing in the long list of shitty things he does to me. He goes out at least once a week, mostly twice. I never get out or any other time to myself as I'm at uni or have ds and apparently I should be ok with this as I'm doing something that I love? What I'm doing is fucking hard work, at home, studying, at uni and on placement. I get literally no help around the house, nothing at all. He won't even lift his dirty washing on a regular basis so it sits there. There's no affection on his part anymore but he constantly says I'm trying to make things work MY ARSE The only one that tries is me I buy all the shopping to feed us and ds, all the nappies, wipes etc. I'm a student and he is a fucking assistant manager!! He earns double what I do. This is only a few things.

I'm leaving, I can't handle it anymore. He's financially and emotionally draining me. Thankfully I haven't noticed ds being any different but I know it will start to affect him eventually. I just need to get some money together for a deposit, plan funds I need etc. If I have to drop out of uni then so be it, I love it but I have to get away from this fucking manchild that I live with.

Sorry for any mistakes in there, I'm typing in a fit of rage

Yes, get out OhChristmasTree. He sounds truly awful.

He sounds disrespectful and looking for excuses to be rude to you. Yes you should get out- he won't improve.

I remember your other thread. I think you should check with your uni to see if there are grants or bursaries available for hardship, or single parents or whatever. also check CSA to see what you should get from him. Good luck.

Stay strong, you are doing the right thing.

I'm so glad you're leaving the bastard. He sounds intolerable.

Justified rage. What a twat.

If only some women had as much drive as you. I honestly thought this would read as a 'just venting, but pretty much going to go along with it forever more' thread. Good for you. He does sound like an utter bellend. Don't stop the rage, use it to keep you focused. Good luck!!

Oh and LTB, because I've never said that before and it's like a rite of passage.

He was planning on going out but you asking him not to pushed him in to it!

Yes, get out of there.

When the new year is over check what you'll be entitled to in tax credits/HB etc, as a student you should be exempt from CT. You may find that you'll still be able to continue on with your course.

In the meantime detach, detach, detach, emotionally and physically. Stop doing his cooking and washing and simply concentrate on you and DS.

Ah, yes, meant to add that when I was studying for my degree I got a single parents allowance on top of the grant/loans. Contact your LA who should be able to advise you on this.

Get rid of the pathetic little prick.

That text message is making me rage and it wasn't even sent to me!

Get rid, stay at uni, have a successful and happy life without him. There is support for lone student parents out there, a friend of mine recently had to access it and it was a big help.

Good luck!

Why are you the one that will have all the expense and inconvenience of leaving? Is the property you live in in his sole name?

I suggest you report your post and ask mumsnet to move it to the Relatonships board where your venting will strike a chordmeet with practical suggestions that may, hopefully, enable you to dump the idle tosser end this unsatisfactory relationship sooner rather than later.

I was one of those women theicingontop but he's pushed me too far. I have to be the one that moves, we rent off his parents. He wouldn't go without a fight anyway. Thank you for all the support.

Chuck the cunt out the door. Rub cut chilli in his undies before you chuck them out of the window, though. Good luck, OP

well done. tell student services/counselling at your uni. ask if there are access or hardship funds available.

i tell you, you will never, ever regret ditching him.

Rub cut chilli in his undies

Sorry, but that is genius.

Hi - we're going to move this in a moment to Relationships.

I don't have any practical advise, but the best of luck to you. I hope you and your DS manage to get away from this man and have a happy life together.

You are absolutely doing the right thing by leaving. hes a fucking twat.

Could you stay with your parents for a while while you get the deposit together? Or approach your council?

Talk to your tutors, they may be lenient with regard to deadlines etc while you get sorted. Worst case scenario you might be able to defer for a year.

Every problem has a solution. When you get rid of the main problem, all the others will pale into insignificance.

Bloody good for you. Who the hell does he think he is?

Loving the idea of chilis in his budgie pouches, Cocky.

Scotch bonnets are particulary fearsome fiery and should have him jumping in a cold bath. As you'll be the one leaving, OP, I suggest you insert a few prawns into curtain hems and stuff some down the sides of fitted carpets where they meet the skirting boards before closing the door for the last time.

Oh how exciting op. imagine, you will soon have a happy and stress free life. Yep arm yourself with knowledge about money n stuff and bloody go for it.
Life is far too short to waste on tossers

Talk to your tutor at uni, as well as student support. You might be able to take a year out and then re-start this year in September 2013 - something to consider rather than dropping out outright.

Good luck OP.

Well done on making the decision, I'm so fecking on your behalf.
He sounds like a selfish tosspot!
This - he didn't get up to watch ds open his presents if nothing more, would have been it for me.
You're so doing the right thing, imagine having to explain to your ds at 4/5/6 years old that Daddy's not coming down to see if Santa has been because......
he's a selfish bastard lying in bed hungover

I hope you quickly get sorted with a new house, benefits and with Uni,
Good luck to you and ds in your new life x