So Fed up with his cannabis; use what do you think ?

[sosickoftheweed]

My Husband is a heavy cannabis user. Like every day.

he stopped smoking tobacco about 4 years ago and now 'smokes' the weed in a pipe.

It stinks, I hate it. I hate the smell, I hate the fact that every chance he gets he's out there having a quick 'puff'. I have found him at 6am having a quick one (tho that is some time ago)He doesn't drink alcohol (stopped before we met) due to problems with it in the past.

worst of all as far as I am concerned is the fact that my 7 year old son tells me about 'Daddy's golden pipe ' that he 'fills with black stuff and smokes'.

I cant believe my marriage - which in other respects is fine - normal I would say - is going to end because of his weed habit. He says I knew when I met and married him that he liked a puff - I say he wasnt a father to three children then.

Im sick to death of the lying and skulking around and obsession with having a puff. I feel my respect for him ebbing away and the disrespect he shoews to me and the children by continuing becoming a larger and larger issue

tell me im making a fuss about nothing, that 'everybody' does it, that its normal ? maybe I am very square ?

HELP. sorry this is so long

SSOTW i also made the same decision as you, i married my husband knowing about his habit and i will stand by those vows i made. And of course it doesnt make it alright that he doesnt smoke infront of the kids but its a start isnt it! for those who strongly critise weed, i totally agree, due to the fact i lost my brother four years ago at 24 after he developed social paranoia, he had been a heavy weed smoker for 6 years and when he actually went clean, he developed lots of mental issues and went on to commit suicide.

the point there is that for some people it does become a way of life, and because they deal with most of their problems in a 'stoned state' etc that becomes the only way of life they know. my husband has smoked weed for 20 years every week. it is an addiction and like all addictions he needs support to try and stop not made to feel guilty and belittled. we all make mistakes. i will also never give my husband an ultimatum as i saw sadly what it did to my brother when he went clean , when my husband stops it needs to be on his terms and with the appropriate help. until that time all i will do is keep encouraging him to stop and trying to point him in the right direction. xxx

happybebe

you sound much more sangine than I!

Ho Hum, on and up :)

interestingly I have seen only ONE answer (fron redhed) telling me WHY this stuff is so great you would risk everything for it ?

SSOTW, my message was intended to try and explain why we smoke and certainly not to endorse it. I do feel a little judged from some responses - but I thought it might help to explain what it feels like. My DH justifies it by saying that you don't get agressive stoned like some people get when they've had a few drinks and so long as you don't go too far it's ok. I think every night is too much which is why I'm trying to cutdown and so I still think your DH needs to stop. I hope it all works out for you, I suspect it will as it sound like you both want it to. Good luck.

i must admit my DH is a lot calmer on weed but its not him, its weed. he is also very dopey and i find it infuriating the need to have to repeat myself constantly to him and saddened that in my eyes, reality for him is so bad he needs to get stoned every night. but like i said, addiction is addiction and needs to be handled carefully and it could be worse i guess.

Hi SSOTW, how are you doing? Well, in my post below I said that I wanted to know how to get my DP off the weed. I think the way may have come, but certainly not the way I wanted it. DP has just been told he has to have part of his lung removed, because it has been destroyed by his recent pneumonia. The consultant also said that he believes habitual marijuana smoking can be more weakening to the lungs than tobacco, and would have made DP more susceptible to the pneumonia. Another strong argument to add to the anti-dope campaign.

Blimey beetle! I hope he is ok! I think that the smell of the stuff gives one the idea that it is a bad idea to inhale it!!

Im doing ok thanks.Thanks for asking :)

We have located a therapist (couples counsellor) as the Relate wait was ages. There is a wait here too but not so long I hope.

dh has really cut down in the last 2 weeks , I have been very pleasently surprised by the reduction in weed smoking. He has definitely NOT smoked during the day, nor at any time when the kids might find him. I still feel a bit cynical but am really pleased by the effort he has made so far.........

Redhed, I reallly didnt want you to feel judged - its defintely each to their own, its just that we have had such opposing views!

That's great SSOTW. Really pleased that he's cut down. Hope the counselling helps too.

oi oi so ick

had a cannbis cultivator in court today

hed just dreid his second crop

sosoick, I could have been the one writing your posts. DP has also smoked the stuff since the age of 13/14. It is something that has the potential to rip us apart. He managed to get us into severe debt a couple of years ago, but after me screaming at him, threatening to leave, packing our bags etc, it seemed to lessen. He has been off work for the past 15 months and after coming out of hospital I thought that would ahve put an end to it (he was in for 6 wks). But the 1st thing he did was get his mate to meet us at our house with a joint ready rolled for him. The smoking gradually got more and more over the last year to the point he was going outside every hour. He is now back at work so I hope this will mean he will 'cut down'. He has agin got is into debt (taking cash out on credit cards ), but fortunately I saw the statements online so took all his cards off him immediately.

He sat here a few weeks ago (drunk), crying that he hated being addicted to it, and he really wanted to stop, and he was going to stop. I told him that I'd be there to help and support, but I couldn't do it on my own. He won't go to the GP because then that would make it offical that he's a drug addict. He won't seek help elsewehre anonomously, and I'm not strong enough, not experienced to help him by myself. But he's still doing it.

We styed at his parents for a week recently, and he didn't touch the stuff because he couldnt. So what does he do when we get home? Me and the boys get out of the car and he goes to his mates house (who is his dealer).

Beetle said that her DP has to have part of his lung removed, and docs say its because of the weed. DP at 18 had a few collapsed lungs,and had to have part of it removed. A few years back this started happening again and he had to go in to have the lining removed & inner lining glued to his ribs. The docs told him that his build was the issue and smoking in this particular instance was not a problem, although obviously he shouldn't do it. I have since read research that collapsed lungs are commonly caused through cannabis use.

I hope the therapy works for you. I know how you feel.

Does anyone have a problem with husband smoking weed? I hate the smell, it’s affecting our relationship. He gave up alcohol due to being alcoholic and seems to need a crutch so now addicted to this drug!

I earn all the money
So are you giving him the money to buy it?

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Can't believe someone resurrected a 12-year old thread!!!!

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Because harm is generally measured in terms of physical injury; death, violence to self and others, illness/physical addiction etc etc, whether it is drugs or domestic abuse, weed is considered ‘ok’ by a lot of people because it’s actual effects are not as dramatic as eg coke or heroin...

Serious psychiatric problems triggered by weed are the focus of all the attention re weed’s ‘harms’ as a consequence. However given the ubiquitousness of it, serious and enduring mental health problems associated with weed are relatively rare. This allows the harms to be entirely dismissed in exactly the same way as DA is dismissed if you haven’t ‘been hit’.

IMO the damage done by weed is never really measured because of the focus on serious physical injury. Weed has massive economic and public health costs in terms of lost wages, poor productivity, poor diet, sick days, lateness, unemployment, driving under the influence, cancer, obesity, domestic abuse, lower grade mental health problems such as paranoia, poor emotional regulation...

The list is endless but while we are hyperfocussed on the risk of developing cannabis induced psychosis, which is rare, and the fact that weed is not thought to be physically addictive, we are ignoring the massive public health issues created by cannabis use.

My DSIS used to think weed was harmless, until she became a psychiatrist.

Urgh

You need to prioritise your children. They are growing up to see weed as normal and will most likely start smoking it themselves.
Teenagers can become schizophrenic as a result. Are you ok with that risk?
I've met a few men ( never women strangely ) who regularly smoke pot. All and I mean every single one of them is lazy, unsuccessful, unambitious, stinky and dirty.
How would you feel when one of your children after years of watching dad stoned has a go? That will happen.
How you can possibly accept that leaving your children with a drug addict is ok blows my mind.

FUCK'S SAKE PEOPLE

ZOMBIE THREAD

A 12-YEAR OLD ZOMBIE THREAD

I didn’t realise when I posted that it was 12 years old sorry!
Just wanted an opinion. I don’t give him the money he works, he is perfect apart from his addiction. He is a step father to my children as my first husband died

Thank you

Coming from somebody who smokes everyday, I honestly don’t see the problem with it. He is probably self medicating for something. Iv suffered from severe depression since I was a teenage, and Iv found that it helps a lot with that.
It’s not really physically addictive, but it is mentally. You rely on it to do stuff, and it just becomes a very hard to break habit. You think you need it do normal day to day things eventually.
Your married and need to compromise. Weed isn’t going to destroy his life, but it does sound like he’s smoking an awful lot.. £100 a week really! You need a good talk, tell him how it’s effecting you, and that you need to meet halfway.
Even if it’s just him buying a small amount a week and smoking a couple a day when he’s away from you and your son, it might make things a bit better for you. If he’s brilliant in every other way, don’t throw your marriage away over it
Good luck!