Where to travel to on my own with DCs (7&8) to heal...

[Couragedoesntroar]

after separation (in late 2011)? I still feel battered, but slowly healing. Last week I found out the stbxh's 'new' partner is the same woman he accidentally sent me a (flirty, at best) text meant for her in 2008. So I'm realising how long I've probably been on my own and just didn't know it.

I've just got an exciting new job and I want to go away with DCs for a few weeks before I start (probably March). I would like to have space to heal and be away from all this for a bit as well as give the kids a new experience of the world. I don't really mind if it's a package trip or something more adventurous, it just needs to be nourishing. I will be on a budget (not sure what yet, depends on divorce outcome) but have wondered bout US, India, Aus, Europe...

I've posted in travel too, but somehow it is as much about the recovery as the travel so I'd really like suggestions with that in mind from you wise men & women on here. I imagine some of you have been here before me...

Doris Campervan would be good round NZ I imagine. We have a friend in Oz if there was chance to stopover there. I always think mountains are good for the soul. I want to lose myself for a bit.

freya did you use a company for your South Africa trip? My kids'd love safari. Although I wonder if I'd find internal flights stressful, being on my own with DC.

Alcatraz sounds fab!

Anyone done Cambodia? Am I right in thinking that it's where a famous ancient forest is?

I have an interest in Buddhism so there is also some appeal about that.

Just googled Cambodia and suspect I'd feel vulnerable there. Had enough of being scared lately.

Raskolnikov - your holiday sounds fab - how much roughly did it cost?

(sorry for thread hijack)

My work colleague goes to Gambia every year with her foster children. They love it-lots of safari stuff and the people are really friendly

USA with 7&8 you need theme parks, pools and fast food.

Not necessarily Disney there are loads of other smaller places and water parks that may be cheaper and nearer wonderful scenery.

It will take planning, but a road trip that contains wide open American roads and spectacular vistas, plus lots of age appropriate fun and stress free (if unhealthy) dinning should be possible.

Have lots of fun together.

Take loads of photos and make montages when you get home.

Put them somewhere you see them everyday and remember how much fun you had without the two timing bastard.

I would go to Indonesia. Bali is stunning and very safe. You can rent a house and eat out very reasonably. Or how about Goa or Kerala in Southern India?

Good for you, Courage :) A long-haul ticket is my personal cure for a broken heart, and I love the way you've characterised it as "feeling the size of the world". Yes, a million times!

I think you've sold yourself the USA trip - you should do what feels right to you, in the best way you can afford. In case you're still considering Europe as well, I've had amazing driving holidays around Spain and Italy. Both countries - and America - are extremely child-friendly, meaning you would be welcomed as a mother which I think will be self-affirming for you.

Looking forward to your continued thoughts on it!

Loads of good suggestions, thanks for that all of you. It's a funny time of year isn't it for making plans and considering how life may look? It's hard to settle when kids are away with STBXH and 'new' partner. My new job is working with the dying and I've helpfully managed to up my anxiety by smoking (I don't) & imagining the kids being raised by OW.

I'm not totally sold on US, although it looks good. NZ is appealing too. I'm attracted by Indonesia & India, although more apprehensive about managing the different language on my own. I don't think I want a package trip, 'cause I want to feel free.

garlic I hope that travel will help with my broken heart. I've had it for long enough now. I want to move on from the feeling that my life is over. If I didn't have DCs I think I'd pack everything in and roam for a year...

What would put me off Europe is the expense and the fact that everything is so bloody inconvenient. Your kids are older than mine and can drag their own luggage, so perhaps it's less of an issue, but whenever I've travelled in Europe I've been irritated by the way everything is set up to be as inconvenient as possible, whereas in the US the opposite is generally true.

As for NZ, I have a friend who's just moved back there after 16 years in Europe and she is absolutely loving it and from her descriptions and travel plans I have to admit I'm wildly envious. She's currently on a month's holiday staying in a beach house, then driving around in a camper van with her DH and DD and it all sounds really lovely, so I'm sure you and your DC would have fun doing something like that too. I think it helps for kids to be able to communicate too, so somewhere English-speaking might be less stressful for you as they'd be able to order their own food, ask questions, etc, rather than all the communication onus being on you.

If you can wait till the summer skyros holidays do holistic holidays with child care that have lots of different courses that have helped lots of people make fresh starts and find new directions as well as fun things such as dance, windsurfing, sailing, singing, yoga etc

In southern India and Indonesia I didn't find the language a problem. Sri Lanka would be another option.

DH is away next summer and I am going to go on a yoga retreat and take ds with me.

I think you should reconsider South Africa. Flights are expensive but once you get there it will be much cheaper than the us. The safety issue really is not one you should worry about as a tourist - take basic precautions and you will be fine. You would be able to do the driving, scenery etc and can also do safari if you like. Also, if you want something to help you heal, what about taking some time to get involved in a local community? I highly recommend www.2waytravel.com this South African travel company. They can organise safari/general stuff etc but could tailor a day or two to doing something community-orientated.

Also, march is a great time interns of weather there - hot but not insane.

Thanks. I'll not rule out either Indonesia/India or SA. I really love the idea of something community based bling, I'll have a closer look at what they offer on the link you give.

Others still short listed are still California road trip and NZ.

I will keep Skyros in mind for future too winter

I'm still more anxious than normal (kids come back today, hurray) and my adventurousness seems to be inversely proportional! It'll pass and it will be great to plan how to be away from new job nerves & STBXH/OW for a bit. Somewhere warm...

Cuba?

Reading all these fab suggestions makes me want to whisk the kids away on holiday too!

Re the California driving holiday, friends of mine looked at one of the itineraries being offered by one of the holiday companies and booked the same hotels independently. They saved a fortune!

I've also used AirMiles and Avios points to buy car hire in the states, as well as get nights at 5 star hotels, so you can definitely have a fab holiday on a tighter budget.

Enjoy getting your DCs back today, and do tell us where you decide to go!

Another vote for Thailand here. Very lovely people, who are incredibly child friendly, beautiful weather, beaches, sunsets. Thai massages, gorgeous foods... take me!!!!!!

I'd really recommend this place www.phuket.com/lagunabeach/
It's got loads to do for your children, whilst you'll be equally pampered.

Cuba is great. Have been there many times but not exactly hassle free as a woman travelling on your own. Food is very limited and quite a difficult island to get around.

I can recommend Goa, especially a place called Mandrem Breach in North Goa. There's a fab private small resort there called Elsewhere Goa (Brangelina rented out the whole place a couple of years ago) which is stunning. No "activities" as such but total chill out time. Very hot after early March though so go Feb if you can.

PS EVERYONE in India who went to school speaks beautiful English & are the happiest, most helpful people I've ever met. Goa is a very rich state so you won't see as much poverty as the other parts but obviously there is some & some beggars but even they are smiling somehow!! Beautiful place.

If you decide to go package & want company for the kids & grown ups for you I had a good holiday with small families last year!! They gave lots of destinations & types of holidays from beach to cruise to adventure!

Please do come back and tell us what you decide! I live to hear happy positive stories.

sailors I think I'll avoid Cuba then, I want it to be easy and not to feel conspicuous.

I'll look into Goa. I have a feeling the DC would enjoy India and it would be a bigger cultural change than US or NZ.

bling, thanks, I'll follow up all options and definitely let you know what we plan and of any other possibilities in the meantime.

Thanks all, it is exciting thinking about the future and of holidays! DC are home. The whole world is different when they're here, it turns technicolour.