The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year? So, Let's Go Up A Gear!

[ChristMouseTimeMistletoeNoWine]

Hello, tis me, Mouse (normally Mouseface but I'm wearing my festive name )

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, to a place of solace, support and sanctuary, if that's what you seek of course. It's also a Bus full of bloomin' chatterboxes, waffling on about life, love and all things from school reports to laundry!

The journey into 2013 is going to be an ass kicking one as we're moving up a gear to give the WineWitch a bloody good slapping, and the BoozeBeast a kick in the bollo.............

Some of us drink in moderation, some of us drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes. The support on this Bus has kept me from ruining my life time and time again. The experiences of others shared here has helped me to change the way I see alcohol, the way I see what it does to me.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

Everyone is welcome here so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hi. Post as much or as little as you like!

So, come say hi, grab a seat, an eggnog (non alcoholic of course ) and a mince pie, or chocolate chip cookie, and meet some lovely, genuine people who are just like YOU.

Also, HERE IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD with a link in the OP to the first ever thread, and the reason why after more than two and a half years, this thread is still here, supporting those in need.

Well done on the weight loss Ma. U sound really positive and upbeat this morning.

Another clear head here too. I've gone from not being able to sleep to the best night in ages. Hope it continues and that it wasn't because I was just so tired I passed out lol. Well done on weight loss is that just with not drinking or have you been good eating too?

Yay well done Ma!!
You've sounded so different this last week or so, it's been really inspiring. Keep going and see things changing around you as you get stronger.

Well done Obrigada on the wedding, too - I don't think I could manage to stay sober at a wedding.

So, having planned to have a glass of red with dinner (then debated endlessly with myself whether I'd be able to stop at one), in the event of it I had a sip and didn't really like it, had two more sips to make sure, and gave it to DP! Normally I'd have drunk it anyway or asked him to open a different bottle.

This morning I woke up refreshed and not smelling that horrible sickly stale booze smell, not having woken drenched in sweat in the night (i did wake, just not sweating). It's worth cutting down/out just for that.

Morning babes

Hope you all had a good and sober night's sleep.
ma get a bigger fish- see if that works! Loving the determinedma.
mouse hope you don't feel we were nagging, of course your situation is much more complex than we can realise. Just sending best wishes and hope for improvement.

Just checking in really (I've supposed to be studying) will come back later to say hi properly. I felt so strange after the meeting, it was great but I guess it's hard to confront the reality of how often I drink. So I need to keep going to meetings and deal with it. I feel sombre today,thought I'd be bouncing round but I just want to get on with life now. Hmmm. not doing a good job of explaining.
Right after the meeting I went and bought some new clothes, I never do this but I spend plenty on booze, so the new clothes are a new start for me.I have taken the many, many wine glasses out of the cupboard,including the very 'special' one that I like best and they are going away for guests only. When I have been sober longer I will buy some pretty tumblers,not wine glasses.

I have been sober for 4 days and will not be drinking today. i don't feel boingy but I feel peaceful and happy.

P.S I love the bus better than aa though.

Loved your post about the iceberg Purple; we are lucky indeed. No drink could give me a buzz as good as the feeling of waking up without a hangover on a Saturday morning.

Holly good luck with Smudge, I remember when we brought our rescue cat home (8 years ago), she was mewling pitifully all the way home but once she was in the door everything was fine. She's been a joy and even gets on with the dog. Have you decided it's too hard to try and control Joey? I find that so difficult too, hence am trying abstinence at the moment but of course that may change....And at least we're giving everything we've got to doing something about this little ol' problem of ours.

So do I gugg (love the bus better than AA) :)

Well done Obrigada that's a great acheivement. Lovely to see all the boingy babes this morning. ma you are determined ma (though I like to think still a little demented :) ) now purple how do we get you boinging again?

mouse hope you have had some restorative sleep. Dig in, you can and will get through it, one day things will be a little easier honey - I know that seems a long way off right now _ keep dumping here. X

Soma re what you said about it not being worth claiming on the insurance for Alfie because of the excess... with most policies you only pay the excess once per complaint/course of treatment, so it may be worth claiming as unfortunately an allergic condition is likely to recur from time to time, and then you would be able to claim in full in future. Hope the treatment's worked.

Well done obrigada for wedding. I managed to stay sober at a wedding I went to a few months ago with the help of this bus & it was a bit of a revelation for me. Amazing MA on weight loss and new BMI, all your hard work, abstaining and positivity is paying off. Keep up the determined MA

CAT!!! he is beautifulllll! he's settled in already - having a good old rummage and stretch

All cat news welcomed here

Sounds like he will have his paws firmly under the table by this evening.Lucky you !

new cat! great news....
to whoever asked, I have been eating healthily too, so its not just the booze and have also upped the exercise. with all that effort I should be half a tonne lighter, never mind three pounds, but if I do the same next week that will be nearly half a stone in two weeks, which would be AWESOME!
Going out for a walk soon, just our "round the block circuit" which is about 2 miles I think, then a longer walk tomorrow around the loch which will be about 6. Thighs are toning up, but belly still refusing to join in....
Have busy days today Babes, and be armed and ready for this evening when the wine witch will have her Saturday night cronies with her.
pippin are you still with us. are you ok?
Well done on the sober wedding obrigada

Aw purrfect news holly Maybe Smudge can help fend off the wine witch when she comes a calling tonight x

Thanks Mia will wait until Alfie's finished his medication because I may need to go back to the vet and then maybe put in a claim. How are dog/snake/rabbit? And DD of course!

Need some non-drinking related advice please. Have been amicably divorced for 8 years, during which time exH has been in a relationship which has recently finished. They have a child together with SN (Mouse knows about her). He's now spending more time with DD at our house (currently sitting with us having a cup of tea, all nice and calm) but DD doesn't seem to like it when we're together, she says it's awkward. She's vetoed the 3 of us having a birthday tea together for her next week (she's 13) but it makes me a bit sad. I think it's nice that we can still be a "family" even though we're divorced. There's absolutely no question of us getting back together but maybe she's concerned that we might? I suppose I just need to go along with her wishes, what do you think?

Feeling a little better today. Managed to drink a bit less yesterday so slept a little better. Stomach is still angry with me but, again, better than yesterday. I've picked a fight with the kitchen - and won! It's looking sparkly again. Bathroom is half cleaned, hoovering and garden clean up to follow. Poured the half bottle of wine down the sink. Once I've finished the chores I'm going to have a bath, go to the shops and treat myself to a big sir fry later on. DC are back tomorrow morning (rather than the evening as ExP has decided to go to work instead of having his children!) and I thought I'd grab my camera (haven't done much photography for a few weeks now) and take DC to the Botanical Gardens, Cambridge. ExP never takes them anywhere so it'll be a bit of a bonus for them.

Thank you so much to all the beautiful, gorgeous Babes that supported me in the past few days, Ma, Mouse, Joey, Green, Koti, Clutter and Soma and anyone else. xxxx. You can't know how much you have helped me. So, Green, a very small, weak, almost inaudible 'boing' over here.

Well done Obrigada for your control at the wedding. Gugg Peaceful and happy sounds blissful.

(Brief hiatus in typing as I finish off the bathroom! Yeah!)

Soma My ExP and I manage to get on OK and spend 'family days' together. He can be an arse sometimes but mainly we get on. One small word of caution - I think it can be confusing for DC. My 6yo DS2 still asks if Daddy can come on holiday with us! Just have to be explain, a lot! Good luck.

Clutter Best of luck with the job interview. I know what you mean about the school holidays bit.

Well done for the weight loss Ma, that's fab news! Swinging all that fish around probably counted as exercise!

Off for my bath now.

Day 1 (again). I will not drink today.

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

See that ^ ? That was a smile! I'm smiling because DH did last night's Nemo shift and it was a 4 timer (4 times up to him) but more so, I kept him awake as we've not been in the same bed for weeks so he'd forgotten how much I have to keep moving so I don't get stuck!

Also, he's being an arse because I've just bollocked him for not indicating to let a driver behind know that he was reversing up the drive. He'd go bat shit if someone did that to him!

Now then, I am going to read back a bit and chat to each of you in smaller posts if that's okay, no epic posts today!!

Soma - that would be like me and DD's sperm donor having a birthday tea in her eyes, awkward. Even though our relationship is nowhere near as amicable as your's and your XP, she'd still hate him sharing time with me, just as the 3 of us IYSWIM so I can get that.......

She's mentally separated the two of you because you have separated. In her mind, you're two different parts of her life. Does that make sense? She's happy with the roles you both play, and yes, is probably wondering about the recent split too....... not so much worried, she loves her dad and as you said, you guys have a good relationship aside of DD.

Maybe ask her why it's awkward to her? Ask her out right if she thinks the two of you will get back together or even if she wants that? She's old enough, she is mature enough isn't she? You have a good relationship with her, ask her. Maybe not outright, in a round about way?

Big hugs. xxxx

Ma - you ROCK lady!!!!

Well done on 4 whole days!

Well done on 3 whole lbs!

And well done on taking back you, bit by bit

I absolutely love that Ma I am reading about just now. Kick ass lady xxxx

Clutter - good luck with the interview. I used to be in recruitment and would like to give you a piece of advice if I may?

Be yourself. People buy people. Yep, you might tick all of the boxes on paper but if you won't fit in with the current dynamic/shape of the team/role/department etc... then you won't get the job.

So, relax (as much as you can sweets xx) and have good eye contact. Nice firm handshake, smile and smile some more. Do a list of questions, maybe 3 or 4 about the company or the role but do not ask about salary in the first interview.

Be YOU. The Clutter I know from here (as in the personality side) is lovely. I don;t see you as a Jonny Big Bollocks, I see you as an honest, kind person. I've missed what the job is but it really will boil down to YOU as a person.

If you lack certain training but are the ONE, they will move heaven and earth to have you if you are the perfect person fit xx

Obrigada - (and all of the other awesome Babes who kicked the WineWitch into touch recently at tough events), well done!!!

I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I admire each and every one of you for getting through, especially given recent events........

Gugg - I know you're not nagging, you care which is massively flattering actually. You don; know me from Adam (or Eve) but you care that I'm okay enough to get through the really tough days xx

Greeny - This is my dumping ground, there's nowhere else for it to go and I don't want it to go to my family. Well, maybe DH when he's being an arse.

Yayayayayayayay for a Bus cat, Smudge. I promise to keep our resident wolf ( Seth ) away!!

Purple Now then. You guts are in pieces by the sound of things. Are you taking a good probiotic? You need to be to help encourage the good bacteria to start protecting your body again.

You also need a very good, wide spectrum vitamin and mineral. Something like THIS is ideal. Also Milk Thistle is good to help repair the liver. That and a good, varied diet to help repair your body and also your mind.

The planned trip to the gardens sounds divine. I love places like that. I'm thinking of where to take Nemo later on. He did the park yesterday.......

I'm glad to see that you're drinking less, keep trying to reduce your amounts a bit at a time and you'll soon start to feel as though you can go further.

It's not easy by any means, to stop or cut down but until you get professional,medical help to stop in a controlled way, if you can reduce your intake yourself, and keep posting here for the emotional support, then you are on your way to winning the battle. Starting to take the control back on YOUR terms is much easier in the long run and you'll have more chance of success IMO.

If you say when and how, then you'll want to stick to it. The smaller details like the medication if you go to your GP can be other bits IYSWIM?

What I'm trying to say is that the more YOU CAN DO YOURSELF, the better it will all be if you choose to seek additional help.

Yep, thisnk that's it xxxx

Well done for the cleaning, I found that when I was drinking a lot that I didn;t care so much about food, cleaning, bathing even.

My house is pretty big and hard to keep clean with DH and his lack of understanding where my cleaning OCD is concerned so I did a deep clean yesterday and I'm now going to try and keep on top of it for the next few weeks until I have my freedom from Nemo being at school.

Little bits and often. Although my back and hips are killing me today. My own fault.

Wow, at the rate this thread is going we're going to need a new thread every month!! mouse amazing advice re the job! Thank you & just honestly what I needed to hear. I'm reading and reading policy documents, legislation etc and getting myself in knots thinking I can't take all this is, so unprepared with Christmas hols & all that. Reading your post is so reassuring, your so right, you could have all documents and what not memorised but go in so nervous & you've blown it! I'm going to write down 6 questions they may ask me & know them inside out and have a few questions ready to ask them. And key here is to be relaxed and be myself aw thank you so much for that. So glad to hear that your feeling brighter about things. It can get so hard during holidays. Really hope that your little Nemo settles back into pre-school well & that you find some medication, exercises, whatever it may be that brings you relief from your chronic pain. Huge hugs for you sweetie ((((( ))))) xx

Hi all- been lurking for months now. Can I join the bus please. On day four today as I ruined Christmas for myself due to secret drinking binges, just made me feel awful, so crap and low :(((. Determined beyond words to not go there again (for a while).. But at this minute the lure is overwhelming beyond words :(((... Help any tips ??

Clutter - you can't change the job description that your future employer has set out, BUT..... when they meet you, they could think 'Hmm, this gal has some pretty good qualities/ideas/potential/experience and we could really use them in X,Y and Z'....

They'll have a job description as such, and you'll have an idea of the kind of job you want. If the two meet in the middle and they like YOU for who YOU are and what you can bring to the Company then great. Happy Days

Keep it simple. I'd make it look like you've done your homework. Take some research material with you (go onto the Company website and print stuff off or make written notes) and take 2 pens (mine always ran out when meeting bloody clients!!) and paper. They'll be making notes so if you want to, why not?

The other thing is, at the end of the interview, ask them when you're likely to hear back from them. It shows that you are interested in the job. They may tell you the procedure, but if not, just ask.

But most of all, enjoy it. It's a chance to shine and you will if you just be yourself and keep it simple.

GO GET UM lovely!! xx

Hi Jango well done on four days booze free - think of the bottles or glasses not drunk, calories saved and take it easy - a day or even an hour at a time, keep as busy as you can - you start to see things around you that have been neglected (including yourself) so start with those little things.
Remember HALT - they are triggers when you want a drink so are you HUNGRY ANGRY LONELY OR TIRED and deal with whichever one is bothering you. Read the thread and keep on posting.

Off to have a nap for a couple of hours as was up early taking daughter to coach station for trip back to London and feeling Tired.

and I WILL NOT BE DRINKING TODAY!