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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year? So, Let's Go Up A Gear!

999 replies

ChristMouseTimeMistletoeNoWine · 26/12/2012 21:54

Hello, tis me, Mouse (normally Mouseface but I'm wearing my festive name Smile)

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, to a place of solace, support and sanctuary, if that's what you seek of course. It's also a Bus full of bloomin' chatterboxes, waffling on about life, love and all things from school reports to laundry! Grin

The journey into 2013 is going to be an ass kicking one as we're moving up a gear to give the WineWitch a bloody good slapping, and the BoozeBeast a kick in the bollo............. Grin

Some of us drink in moderation, some of us drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want. Smile

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes. The support on this Bus has kept me from ruining my life time and time again. The experiences of others shared here has helped me to change the way I see alcohol, the way I see what it does to me.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

Everyone is welcome here so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hi. Post as much or as little as you like!

So, come say hi, grab a seat, an eggnog (non alcoholic of course Wink) and a mince pie, or chocolate chip cookie, and meet some lovely, genuine people who are just like YOU.

Also, HERE IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD with a link in the OP to the first ever thread, and the reason why after more than two and a half years, this thread is still here, supporting those in need. Smile

OP posts:
EastHollyDaleStreet · 03/01/2013 09:25

Grin Day 3 for me today. Taking the day off to go and look at rescue cats with dd7 - dh not happy but we WANT a cat !!! I should get up and do things, but jeremy kyle about to start Blush

ohcluttergotme · 03/01/2013 09:30

Good luck with wedding today obrigada sounds so stressful hugs

Fairenuff · 03/01/2013 09:37

Holly just keep posting whatever's on your mind and someone will respond. It does move fast some days, other times there seems to be hardly anyone around. If you need help just give a really big shout and hopefully the Brave Babes Swat Team will arrive. Even lurkers have been known to jump in and assist on occasion Grin

obrigada I feel you may be in need of some Swat assistance today. Now, what are your strategies. Any way you can keep in touch with us during the day?

Remeber Venus's wonderful advice to plan your drinks. Make sure you know what you will order. Take a list of your reasons for not drinking and keep it in your bag to refer to.

EastHollyDaleStreet · 03/01/2013 09:51

Grin.. Thank you .

Fairenuff · 03/01/2013 10:01

Holly have you had a cat before? Do you know what sort of personality you're looking for?

determinedma · 03/01/2013 10:15

ISINDIE is back!!!

East we got a rescue cat back in August and he's settled in now and gorgeous! We have always had cats, but this is the first one from a resuce shelter. He is very affectionate, but was very very nervous the first few days so give yours somewhere safe and quiet to hide until he adjusts. He is still wary of new people but just loves being stroked and fussed over by the family.
Note: he was quite sneezy when we got him - apparently cats who have been in shelters with other cats often are - and he also had worms, but that was easily fixed.
I'll try and put a pic of him on my profile later.
Day 3 - always a trigger day as the novelty starts wearing off....
Stay strong all.

determinedma · 03/01/2013 10:25

ok, pics of Ollie on the profile
Need to go and do some work now.....

Fairenuff · 03/01/2013 10:28

My cat was only 7 months when we rescued her and now, 8 years on, she is still very nervous of strangers. But she adores the family and always snuggles up to one of us if she can.

ohcluttergotme · 03/01/2013 10:36

Aww MA, just went on to look at your cat pics, Ollie is gorgeous. We have one just like him called Buttons! Good luck Holly with getting your cat, we have 3, DH was insistent NO Cats! Now he adores them all. Think my friends think I am a bit of a mad cat lady but with husband and 2 kidsin tow!

EastHollyDaleStreet · 03/01/2013 10:42

Haven't had a cat for a few years, but the dcs keep asking :( I really really want one but dh, for some arsey reason (says they cost about £100 a month to look after Hmm ) is being so nasty about it. I've got to the point where i just don;t give a stuff about his attitude - next door but one's cat thinks he lives here half the time and dh is secretly kind to him so i know he'll be ok in the end. The one we have sort of chosen is a 12 year old lady - she's black and white and 'chatty' apparently!! I know we will have to insure and feed her, but £100??? Idiot bloke!

greeneyed · 03/01/2013 10:53

I suspect my dog costs 100 per month - insurance, food, vets bills, boarding for holidays it does add up.

ohcluttergotme · 03/01/2013 10:56

We pay £16 per month for 3 cats, £4 per week in cat food. We don't have insurance so if anything happens we just pay as we go. If we go away on holiday we have a lovely neighbour who comes in and feeds them Smile

Fairenuff · 03/01/2013 10:57

My dh is a real soppy with our cat. I was the one who wasn't overly keen but of the all pets worth having, I think a cat is fairly low maintenance. They can look after themselves if you're out all day (provided they have everything they need), don't need to be taken out for walks, keep themselves clean, etc. My friend works for cat protection and she says you don't choose a cat anyway, they choose you Grin

PurpleWolfe · 03/01/2013 11:13

Holly There's a really good thread about the cost of keeping a cat on Money Saving Expert. You could point it out to your DH. Grin

Morning everyone! Still feeling pretty down. Sad. DC are at ExP's this weekend and I'm dreading it. Ho hum, I'll survive. Can't wait for Monday - to get back on track.

TF phoned me last night. Seems his Ex isn't sure she did the right thing leaving him. Apparently, to confuse matters, she recovering from a mastectomy and chemotherapy. They were together for 25 years and he's feeling responsible for helping her through it all. So, whilst he sorts himself out I shall be supportive from a distance and carry on shopping for men on Match! Grin And at least I know now.

Have a good day Babes. Send some happy, bright lights my way to cheer me up?

ohcluttergotme · 03/01/2013 11:29

Sorry to hear your still feeling down purple At least now you know the situation with TF, might be easier than not knowing? Sending lots of positive thoughts & vibes to you. Could always send my lively, crazy, active toddler to you for the weekend, you would be kept very busy! Smile xx

pippinfluff · 03/01/2013 11:32

Hello, I'm new to Mumsnet having such a hard time not drinking the dreaded wine. Again. Can I join? Really thought I'd do it this time, obviously not, at my wits end with myself. Sorry for winging but you know when you are sick of yourself?

aliasjoey · 03/01/2013 11:34

oh sorry to hear you're feeling miserable purple

Did Tasty Farmer say what HE thought about the divorce, why was only his ex's opinion mentioned?

Anyway, as you say at least you know the score. Not sure a peach frilly number would suit me anyway, I was planning to upstage the bride!

aliasjoey · 03/01/2013 11:40

welcome pippin strap yourself in and hold on tight! The Bus is fairly rollicking at the moment, and if you're not careful you'll get sucked into mas Boot Camp or trying on bridesmaids dresses...

I am also feeling very sorry for self, still not sleeping well, convinced wine would help (as if) and cross that DH didn't want me to go to SMART.

Oh god - SLEEP when is it ever going to get better?? Sad

SobaSoma · 03/01/2013 11:45

{{{{{{{Purple}}}}}} and bright lights and whatever else you need to lift your spirits. TF sounds like a decent bloke to me, good that you know and onwards and upwards. DD is away too at the moment and am trying to keep busy - have just texted one of her friend's mum's who's been saying to me for ages that she'd like to meet up so have arranged it. I need some new mates so nothing ventured nothing gained.

Holly £100 a month for a flipping cat!!!! I spend at most £10 a month on my cat and don't bother with insurance or getting her vaccinated either (used to but my brother who knows about animal health says that the vacs don't protect against much). As Clutter says, she's pay as you go. My ex was really anti-cat too and used the fact that he was allergic as an excuse for us not to get one but as soon as he was out the door, we did. Turns out now he isn't allergic after all and he really likes the cat Hmm The dog is another matter, I just paid out £100 at the vet's for a skin allergy but I'm insured. So tell your H to get real and rescue a lovely moggie from one of the many animal centres which are just bursting at the seams.

Sorry haven't read back far but hello to all the regulars and new babes alike. Haven't had a drink for a week and feeling determined. A question for Mouse and Faire vis a vis the recent discussion about the possibility of controlled drinking. How on earth did you both get there? Mouse I know you were on around 90 units a week at one stage so your achievement is amazing. Did it take a long time?

pippinfluff · 03/01/2013 11:46

Thanks for replying, just a bit pished off with myself, I want to be a "normal" mum, not a half cut one, if you knew how bad its got you be shocked, I honestly can't go an further being like this. I don't know what to do?? I've made such a tit of myself lately, understatement.

PurpleWolfe · 03/01/2013 11:46

Welcome Pippin I know how you feel. This bus is fab and you'll get lots of support. Are you going to try to do without today? (Says me! Pah!)

Don't think he knows Joey, think he's feeling sympathy and responsible for her and not able to tell her to bugger off whilst she's in such a bad place. I know if my ExP was ill, I would look after him just because I still care about him. TF has made an appt with a councillor to talk it through (Hurrah! A man able to seek help when he needs it! My ExP might not be my ExP if he'd had the balls to do that!). They're not divorced yet but have been separated for 2 years.

And, Joey you will wear what you are told! Grin xx

pippinfluff · 03/01/2013 11:46

Thanks for replying, just a bit pished off with myself, I want to be a "normal" mum, not a half cut one, if you knew how bad its got you be shocked, I honestly can't go an further being like this. I don't know what to do?? I've made such a tit of myself lately, understatement.

greeneyed · 03/01/2013 11:49

Pippin Welcome - We ALL know the feeling of being sick of ourselves here! Absolutely pig sick of ourselves!! It can get better YOU can change it and claw back some self respect. Please don't worry about whinging - we are all very good at that here too :)

Purple Sounds very messy and best to keep a safe distance for now - fuck though, he has farmhouse, puppy, log fire and is now helping ExW through cancer - can he get anymore perfect!!

greeneyed · 03/01/2013 11:50

Doesn't explain being back on the dating site though...

PurpleWolfe · 03/01/2013 11:51

Thanks for the hugs Soma I needed them! I think TF sounds like a good egg too. He's sent me a nice text this morning apologising for burdening me with his problems.

Pippin I can assure you, we would not be shocked. And there are no judgey pants allowed on the Bus - There's a notice as you get on telling you so. Try not to beat yourself up. It' friggin hard! xxxx