The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year? So, Let's Go Up A Gear!

[ChristMouseTimeMistletoeNoWine]

Hello, tis me, Mouse (normally Mouseface but I'm wearing my festive name )

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, to a place of solace, support and sanctuary, if that's what you seek of course. It's also a Bus full of bloomin' chatterboxes, waffling on about life, love and all things from school reports to laundry!

The journey into 2013 is going to be an ass kicking one as we're moving up a gear to give the WineWitch a bloody good slapping, and the BoozeBeast a kick in the bollo.............

Some of us drink in moderation, some of us drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes. The support on this Bus has kept me from ruining my life time and time again. The experiences of others shared here has helped me to change the way I see alcohol, the way I see what it does to me.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

Everyone is welcome here so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hi. Post as much or as little as you like!

So, come say hi, grab a seat, an eggnog (non alcoholic of course ) and a mince pie, or chocolate chip cookie, and meet some lovely, genuine people who are just like YOU.

Also, HERE IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD with a link in the OP to the first ever thread, and the reason why after more than two and a half years, this thread is still here, supporting those in need.

Going to make some tea, need to drink something.......

Hey Ma! Ma! Ever considered one of those nasal hair trimmers?! Guffaw! The peasants are revolting!!

hI gugg the first 4 days were the worst with the withdrawals and I pretty much locked myself inside and kept myself to myself - I didn't want to put any temptation in the way. I had thought that the only way i'd kick it was to go to a detox or a rehab, researched lots but couldn't afford it - little or no help from the NHS etc So me was all I had. And after the last few months I knew I was in a very sorry state and it had to be all or nothing - I chose to try nothing (ie no booze)- so far so good.

I've since found it pretty easy to keep to the one day at a time routine - I'm definately healthier in body and mind so hoping that the improvements will see me continuing forward. I don't mind not drinking - it didn't make me happy or jolly sad or emotional - just numb and dependent. Waking up in the morning and the first thing you want to (and do) is buy wine was soul destroying - I couldn't believe after all I'd gone through with Mum and Sister that this was also my fate. And the fact that I'd done this to myself was a hard thing to wake up to - that nobody else was to blame, this was the life I'd chosen over the past few years and I was living it.

I'm taking anti-depressants which are finally working now I've stopped self-medicating and the odd sleeping pill when I can't get off to sleep, but I'll deal with those in the future.

I decided to give AA a try and all I've really done is gone along to the meetings and listened. I'm not even thinking about steps or sponsors its too early for that but every time I have been someone has related a story that I have been through and been ashamed of admitting even to myself the people there who have been sober for a while seem to have an understanding of my drinking experience and by their relating their stories I'm beginning to understand myself - it helps that they are active in their sobriety and gives me the strength to be active in mine - so I will keep on going as there is no shame in walking through the door and sitting down and listening. We had a real celeb in the meeting the other day and if they can expose themselves and gain strength from the room - then I can too ( by the way no-one batted as much as an eyelid) - humility in accepting that you are an alcoholic is the first thing that gets you there and that's where I'm at at the moment.

Everyones bottom line is different and I have reached mine. Not desititute and drinking cough syrup - but I definately was no longer functioning, money was getting tight - I'd rather drink than work or focus on outside life (including my darling girls) and I couldn't see a future that didn't involve wine or worse -and no matter how often I tried pulling myself back it always got worse. Now finally things are getting better.

I know that it will not always be easy- life will intervene- but the fog is clearing I CAN'T AND WON'T GO BACK.

Hope that helps

ma do you have decaff or herbal? Caffiene at this time might keep you awake without the wine to counteract it!

Great post Koala thank you for telling us all how it's been

Thank you koala I very much admire you.

I haven't dismissed the though of aa, but I'll try smart first. I'm very nervous about just going to a meeting but I can see from your post that I'm building it up into something it isn't. Will grow a pair in 2013.

Do you know what the worst thing about the sidecar is? I can see right up ma's skirt and she.. Oh sorry,ma didn't realise you were there.

rotfl @ Gugg! x

kot yes the link works. Ta love!

I watched the first 5 mins but I'm off for a bath now. I'll watch the rest later. What do you think?

to purple

Um, purple you wouldn't have any of those big girl pants spare would you?
Actually, the inability to sleep when not drinking worries me. I really struggle with it.
Over the worst of witching hour now...should be OK for day 1

Koti thank you for the video link - watched it sounds interesting - Like that it is based on CBT which has worked for me in the past. Will have a look into the website in more detail.

Ma Well done - I know I will really struggle to sleep tonight despite being knackered and will probably have a panic attack or two after last nights excesses. I will sleep in the spare room and have book/phone to hand to browse net - I'll get through it, be tired tomorrow but hopefully it will pass. I sometimes find taking a couple of Paracetomol help - I expect it some kind of placebo affect! What will you do if you can't sleep can you read or is DH in the room?

Mouse Hope the pain is getting a little better - when will you be home in your own bed?

Well we have HALT

I have another one - DEPART. Don't know if it's any good to anyone but feel free to use it -

DEPART - DEpression, PAranoia, Regret and Truth - it's what happens when we drink.

Hope everyone is doing well. Still shaking pom poms here.

koti that's interesting about SMART, thanks. there is a meeting near me (in fact in the same place as the AA meetings) I'm curious, but I don't feel alcoholic enough to go...

I have some wine and am resisting opening it, the last week has been excessive and my body needs a break! hopefully I will sleep better ttonight as well.

mouse did you enjoy UP?

wow just checked the smart site there is a meeting in a town half an hour from me - the facilitator is someone I know!! Or know of rather, she is a couple of years older than me and from my hometown - she is a beautiful girl, from a wealthy local family - big shock in the village years ago when it was whispered she had a heroin addiction, even though I don't know her I always thought it was tragic and really pleased to see her running this group - I won't go though!! Will look at what's on line

Yay Ma thats day 1 done and dusted. I have a family wedding which I am not looking forward to. Its my nieces wedding and her mother and partner don't speak to me. Also present will be my eldest sister who also doesnt speak to me. This all stems from a disagreement last year when my mother went into a home. Am planning on having a drink at the wedding but dont want to have too much as I dont want to let myself down.

Off to bed soon - will read for a while and hope to nod off. No spare room to decamp to so Dh will have to put up with it. And with the excessive wind this high veg, high fibre diet is causing!

Meant to say wedding is on Thursday so hopefully there will be someone around to hold my hand if things get uncomfortable in RL...

Ma well done girl - Hope your night is okay and DH isn't gassed in his sleep!

Obri that sounds horrible you poor thing - gosh can you plan not to have too much? That was my plan last night - look where it got me!! Also weddings are notoriously boozy and it's a long session. Is this local - can you drive?

I think I have to accept I cannot "plan" not to have too much as it doesn't work and I am lying to myself so either I won't go or I'll drive in future where there is potential for an evening to get out of control.

Thanks Koti Shall get some tomorrow x

Right going to try to go to sleep now - sorry for hogging thread today wallowing in my own self pity. Thank you bus for looking after me today x

obrigada you say you hope you won't drink too much, and that there will be someone to support you. being on the Bus I have learnt that you can't always rely on 'hope'. can you plan out various scenes beforehand and decide how you will act? planning is the key!

I've joined the SMART community, but I feel shy, and a bit stupid because I don't understand what to do next. I guess it's meant to be like Facebook, but I don't use FB so can't figure out what to do. God I'm so old. still at least I'm sober...

I don't think the links work properly on my kindle. maybe I need to go on the computer.