He kicked us out three days before Christmas

[WhatARubbishChristmas]

I don't know what I am looking for by posting here, but I feel so sad. After yet another argument, my other half kicked me, and therefore also our 9 week old baby, out on Saturday. He told me he'd had enough, he wasn't coming with us to my parents for Christmas, and told us to get out. We left in a cab at midnight. The following day I had to get on an aeroplane on my own with the baby. And now we are here at my parents, and I am desperately trying to keep it together but I keep crying. It's all so rubbish. I hate that he isnt here, he means the world to us and I cant believe he has done this to us. To top it off I have a really nasty tissue lump from the birth and it has expanded and gone extremely painful over the past couple of days. I know I will have to go and have it burnt off when I get back but that doesn't help me right now... Aaargh. What a shitty Christmas.

He made you and his child homeless 3 days before Christmas.

This is your DC's first Christmas. He should be making it feel magical, loving and secure. Instead he has made it as hellish for you as he could.

Do you still think the world of him RubbishChristmas?

Hello, I didn't want to read and run, so sorry that you are having such a bad time but have no great words of wisdom to impart.

You're going back?

How can you say he means the world to you when he kicked you out?

Eh? You still say he means the world to you? He sounds like a twat of the highest order. I hope you have a nice Christmas with your folks, and a new year free from this unpleasant cockmuncher.

That is shitty. Are your parents helping?

I guess I mean I feel very lost without him.

Yes definitely twat. Something very weird must be going on in his head for him to be able to do this.

Parents try to help but they can't really do much, except financially.

What an absolute arsehole he sounds.

Where did you go when you got in the cab? To an airport hotel? And you feel lost without him? What do your parents say about him?

I am sorry you are going through this, but he has done you a massive favour. It just does not seem this way right now.

Dont go back. At least not for other purpose than getting more of your stuff, and leave your baby with your mum while you do, but take your dad with you.

That's an understandable way to feel. Try to just focus on what's going on right now and enjoy your Christmas day with your gorgeous baby, then you can work out a plan after you've had a lovely couple of days away from it all.

Imo count yourself lucky for your escape and never go back ever.

At 9 months your child is unawear can you imagen what the emotional effect that would have on a 3 year old 5, 6, 9 even a 12 year old child?

Do you really love a person who can make a 9 month old child homeless?

Do you have respect for such a person?

New year and a new happy safe life for you and your child because you are a family and you both need a safe secure place to live and put roots down.

So your parents can put you in a position that means you are not financially dependent on him and you still want to go back to him? If you were my dd I would do everything I could to stop you going back. Twat? Abusive is a better description.

When are you due to leave your dps and what will you be going to back to if he's made you homeless?

Do you rent your home or is it mortaged? Is your name on the tenancy agreement/mortage? Are you married?

This callous and uncaring twunt might 'mean the world to you', but as far as your baby is concerned YOU are the sun, moon, and stars, to him/her and the twunt not essential to his/her wellbeing.

As for it being a 'shitty' Christmas, it will be what YOU make it - why not choose to make it a happy one for yourself, your dc, and for dps too because it very much sounds as if you are all infinitely better off by not having him around to suck the joy out of the festive season.

AnAir the OP's baby is 9 weeks not 9 months.

Jeez - too much of the nectar that cheers here! Mortgage/mortgaged

We went to stay with relatives. Yes, I do feel lost, he was my other half and father of my son. I relied on him for a lot, as you do in relationships.

How long have you been together and has he behaved like this before?

Of course you feel very lost without himRubbishChristmas. You have just had a baby. I'm sure that you have thought about this moment and it really wasn't this. It involved you, your new baby and your loving DP.

Unfortunately your reality is very different. Your reality is that your DP is a man who puts his wants over your and your DC's needs. He has taken away your home and the easy access you and your DC need to medical care at a crucial time for both of you. He kicked you out at christmas. Nearly everyone in the world is not that cruel.

Oh, I don't mean going back to HIM, just back as in back to the town we live in. As for where exactly we are going to live, I imagine that will have to get sorted somehow. We haven't gotten that far yet, as you can imagine.

I guess things haven't been easy for a while (you say yet another argument) and you live in his place hence him telling you to leave? Has he done this before & you've got back together? Sounds like you've got a lot of thinking to do - but make sure you enjoy Christmas with your parents and your newborn baby, have a break from it all.

why did you have to leave? he should be the one to go.

We're not married, we rent the place together but he pays for it as I am on mat leave. Technically I'm sure he can't kick us out but that is a little bit difficult to argue when he screams "Get Out!" in the middle of the night.

RubbishChristmas "technically no longer applies. He actually* kicked you and your newborn out of your home.