Copycats, One Upmanship and Keeping up with the Jones'

[FamilyGuy2]

Hi all

First post so please be gentle ;-)

I don't know if anyone has had the same but I'm at the end of my tether with a group of friends. They're all really great except they're all obsessed with copying/keeping up/one upmanship, whether it be cars, presents, clothes...... The list goes on and it's driving my wife and I mad.

I bought my wife a lovely Ted Baker dress as a present last year. I'm not rich so it was quite an outlay but well worth it as my wife looked stunning in it. Fast forward 6 months and her mate (significantly more wealthy) decided to buy the exact same dress even though she'd seen my wife wearing it before (and commented on how lovely it was). Now my wife doesn't want to wear it any more in fear that they'll both turn up to parties wearing the same thing. Being more wealthy she could've bought anything so why buy exactly the same thing?

They all went Xmas shopping, as a group last month and my wife bought my eldest daughter a Cath Kidston bag for Xmas. She (my eldest) has been fancying one for ages but didn't want to ask as they're quite expensive. As no-one had even mentioned Cath Kidston, my wife thought she'd be ok so decided to treat my daughter. Now she wishes she hadn't as my eldest went to school yesterday to find our friend's daughter had turned up with a brand new Cath Kidston bag, one week before Xmas. My eldest was gutted and my wife was absolutely fuming. Especially as my wife's friend knew that the bag was going to be an Xmas present for our daughter.

The sad thing is, the same happens with everything; cars, decorating the house, house extensions, holidays, gadgets. It seems that individuality has never entered my friends vocabulary at all.

As a result we've tried to distance ourselves from it but it's difficult when you are ultimately good friends. It's just an aspect of friendship that we could do without.

Does anyone else get this and what do you do?

Thanks :-)

I can honestly say I have never met a bloke who talks like this.

I can see where you're coming from but I wouldn't get so hung up on the brands. Perhaps as a poster says above go for vintage stuff - impossible to copy?

I have seen it happen (not with brands, with house decor and styles of clothing being copied slavishly) and it caused a real rift in a friendship (the people in question weren't rolling in it, and I reckon the copycatting was a bit of hero worship and insecurity combined. The person being copied got incredibly annoyed as every single purchase was copied within a week). So make it impossible to copy you, so that the issue doesn't arise again!

Me neither AF

When are you going to get onto the subject of lingerie OP

heh

someone we know 'happens' to buy a new car if anyone else changes theirs out. It works with hire cars too and is quite fun to watch.

I think in his it is insecurity, but it can be annoying

Couldn't help but think of this scene after reading the story of one-upmanship!

Actually OP, have you ever read American Psycho? It's got a whole bunch of people in it who dress in similar outfits, go to the same places, compete with each other to a ridiculous degree- it's a reoccurring theme for characters to mistake someone for another person because they're all basically yuppie clones of each other. Your friends seem to be echoing it with their preoccupation with material goods and conspicuous consumption, particularly with the lack of originality (copying each other's cars and clothes for example, instead of choosing something they personally like themselves).

Stop telling them so much and don't go shopping with them (or if you do buy something nasty and laugh when they copy it after you have taken it back!)
It all sounds a bit childish to me really.

You are so clearly not a man op! What are you up 2?!

Please buy your poor wife a new pretty dress so she can start going to parties again (or knit her one so noone can copy).

... In his case ...

What are you on about. My DH wouldn't have a clue. We have asked our friends who have had a lovely kitchen fitted + extension, etc., for the number for their architect because ours needs redoing before we sell the house. Was that wrong? Worried now. Cars at school: audi, merc, beamer, french ones. Lovely line of ladies wearing shearling waistcoats and long flat leather knee boots, and blond highlights. Don't think anyone's copying though - it's just what's in fashion round here.

You need to get a life lovely and I need to get off mnet and do some jobs else my dh might not buy me a new frock for Xmas

I have never heard a bloke talking like this about handbags and frocks?

Are you trying to "come out"? that would be a more interesting opening gambit...

Sorry that sounds a bit harsh, I just cannot belive you are a man tbh "Florence and Fred" - "I would buy Primark if I thought it looked good".

Possibly as I am a nothern monkey I am judging harshly sorry if you is for real!

Ditto on the men don't talk like this This thread is a bit odd. daily mail again?

Mind you what about ... blimey what's the name, it's on the tip of my tounge.. men that are rather feminine but still straight, isn't there a fashionable term for them these days? Metro or something?

Metrosexual!

metrosexual, bisexual, homosexual, anysortofsexual men do not talk like this

Agree. Even I had to think a bit to remember that Florence and Fred is a supermarket clothing label. Err, F&F, is it Tesco's one?
No man would know that. They just wouldn't give a flying fuck. Quite sensibly...

Are you in marketing OP? You seem awfully brand aware....

This is someone from TOWIE...or do people really live like this?

Not sure if this is a genuine post, but the same thing happened when I was growing up. It drove my parents nuts, especially my mum. It was, in particular, one friend who did this. Whatever my parents bought, she would buy. The worst of it was, she used to hint that my parents copied her! It got so bad, that other people started commenting on it, saying "who bought it first?" I kid you not.

It got got so bad, that my mum turned around and said "have you no taste of your own? Do you not have any originality?" in front a group of friends. And funnily enough it stopped . Good old mum!

Btw, it was not even labels, just high street stuff.

Are we talking big strong men here?

Really, I know men that actually piss me off by knowing more about fashion than me. Would i want to be with one, the answer is no, but, they are out there

We had a neighbour like this once, he was an extemely arrogant, above everyone sort of person - absolutely nobody in the village liked him.
We did a lot of very major work to our house, and literally whatever we did, he did. It felt like it almost became a competition. First of all it really used to irritate us, but in the end, we just laughed at him because he was basically inept and clueless - i.e. he had to follow our lead. It cost him an absolute fortune (not us as my husband's in the trade and he did it right the first time round). His house was never done to a wow factor standard like ours, which was plain to see. (Sorry really not showing off - just the truth).
You might find, that like us, it will stop irritating you and that you end up genuinely laughing at them. Or, it might be hard but it is possible to drop them, if they really don't have much about them/are so shallow. However, always bear in mind that it is actually a compliment.