Just aaaaaaarrrrrgggh

[Sarahbananabump]

I am pissed off .
Have been invited to yet another wedding.

I have been with DP for 5 years now.
Where is my wedding?

All he ever says is "I can't afford a ring" " I have no money" " I will save I promise" blah blah blah.

I would take a plastic 20p ring to be honest .

I just want us to be married.

I want my happy ending .

Sorry - am hormonal ,period 4 days late and we are TTC but BFN .

I so wanted to be married before having a baby but all I ever hear is about other people getting married or engaged .

Rant over .

"I so wanted to be married before having a baby..."

Why are you TTC then?

Don't mean to sound blunt, but curious.

I'd be pissed off in your position too.

Have you asked him to marry you?

You want to be married but trying to conceive? What difference will it make? He knows he doesn't have to marry you.

There's no such thing as a "happy ending" - a wedding is just one day, you still have to carry on with normal life afterwards.

Too poor,no money for a ring,blah blah,blah-all excuses-he doesnt want to marry you. Sorry to be harsh but decide if you happy to continue as you are indefinately or move on.

I just want us to be married.
So you've done what men do in this situation and proposed, right?

I so wanted to be married before having a baby
So why are you TTC before you've asked him to marry you?

Because at the end of the day ,I don't really care , as long as we are together .

It just stings a little bit each time I get another wedding invite .

Just needed to rant somewhere that's all .

If you want to be married - then you can be. We got married at Chelsea Registry Office, where Paul McCartney, Sid James, DH Lawrence, Jerome K Jerome, Patsy Kensit etc got married. It cost £35. We had a nice lunch after.

Why are you so desperate to get married?

And the thing is we have already agreed on getting married , it will happen , one day . I just draw the line at buying the ring and doing the actual proposal myself .

Ask him to marry you. If he says yes book registry office and have family meal that cost you very little. If he says no, then you've got your answer and from then on TTC only if you prepared to be a single parent in the future.

Puds - I don't know . I suppose because it cements everything together that little bit more , and because I wanted to maybe do it right this time ( I have one dd from a previous relationship ).

I know it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things - but it would be nice!

But money is not an option . Well to me anyway . I am the main earner . The only bit he has to do is buy the engagement ring . I already have offers from family ( his and mine ) of putting money towards the wedding - he asked my dads permission 2 years ago!

But nothing has happened since then!

X-post, oh well you're allowed to rant, here especially. It seems a shame to let your own situation make you unable to be pleased for other people. Can't you and dp have a non-whingy calm talk about the future?

Sorry but it does sound like he's making excuses.

He claims he hasn't got any money and reneges on promises to save. Is he on a low wage?

Before ttc out of wedlock with this man, I recommend you protect your financial interests because far too many unmarried mothers end up seriously out of pocket when they/'re left high and dry and holding the baby.

In the unlikely event that marriage will be on my agenda one fine day, if a guy couldn't be arsed to marry me after 5 years I'd assume he wasn't into me enough to commit and if he made me a load of promises that didn't materialise, I'd know my assumption was correct.

Maybe he will surprise you?!?!

I am pleased for my friends , of course I am .

It just stings for a little bit , then I carry on as normal .

And I don't whine or moan at dp. I just carry on smiling on the outside while feeling sad on the in .

His wage is about £20000 a year plus commission so not terribly low .

Oh and don't worry - I am financially protected I already have things set up so that he cannot make any claim towards this house (mine) etc if we do god forbid ever split up - I learnt that the hard way with my ex who tried to clean me out , but that's a totally different story .

Ask him to marry you, if he says no then you'll know he's stringing you along. Like another poster says a registry office is cheap enough. Do it before you end up as single mom of two babies with different Dads.

I agree with Izzy.

"Actions speak louder than words".

Make sure you have your financial ducks in a row for yourself and before having DCs.

Yes, marriage is just one day, it's the rest of your life you need to organise first.

A great saying I read somewhere: "Marriage is the best day of your life. It's all the way downhill from there."

It was my mother who taught me to always have an independent financial situation for yourself in life.
Probably the best thing she ever taught me.... I am a LP.

(She had a great marriage with my dad. Together for life. But she always held that independence).

Oh, sorry, missed the bit that you already have DD...

Oh god. I really hate men like this. My DF has been engaged for 11 years and her fella won't walk her down the aisle. Men like this don't really appreciate what they have. Your partner should be begging you to marry him. He sounds commitment phobe.

Well - her wedding is off - she's just found out she's pregnant and doesn't want to look fat in her dress.

AF came today for me sob

Oh I'm sarahbananabump by the way - wanted a festive name!