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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

offensive comments

41 replies

dextersgirl · 07/04/2006 20:39

I dont think my boyfriend realises how offensive he comes across sometimes but in case I'm just being a soft touch and he is basically ripping the piss I would just like to give you an example of some of the things he says to me...(remember my last post too 'making me look stupid').

  1. "This is going to sound really bad but you have proper 'child bearing' hips..."

  2. "I wish you wouldnt wear your black coat, it makes you look 'frumpy'.."

  3. "your legs look short and stumpy in jackets like that, you need shorter jackets..."

  4. "I used to know this girl last year...I fancied her like mad but she was way out of my league...way way way out of my league in fact..." (so she was too good for him but I'm not?)

  5. "My mate said "I didnt know you had kids" so I said "I dont, they're packaged with the girlfriend.." " (him telling me about a conversation he had with a mate about MY kids).

  6. "I cant believe you actually 'planned' to have kids that young"

  7. "some of us have to work for a living" (a sly dig at me currently not working).

apart from these few examples he is constantly going on about teen parents (I had my son at 17 and dont believe he 'forgets'), he is constantly going on about single parents on benefits (knowing I am one), and constantly goes on about my parenting (thats a whole new post!).

Evertime we argue he goes on about the money he spends on us as if that should make up for everything else.

Am I being overly sensitive?? are the comments above all bad? not bad at all or bad in parts? lol

Looking forward to more views on this.

OP posts:
SleepyJess · 07/04/2006 20:41

Ooooh get rid!!!! Shock You deserve better than this!! He is never going to be a keeper surely!

Caligula · 07/04/2006 20:42

I don't think you're being over sensitive at all. Your bf is being undermining and disrespectful and one has to ask oneself what he's doing with you if he has so little respect or esteem for you.

If you put up with this, somewhere along the line you'll start to believe him and your self-respect will be non-existent.

blueteddy · 07/04/2006 20:43

Shock No you are not over reacting at all! What an arse!Angry

Caligula · 07/04/2006 20:43

One also wonders about his motivation in putting you down. What does he get out of making you feel bad?

lockets · 07/04/2006 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
dextersgirl · 07/04/2006 20:46

Thanks :)

In answer to that last question, he often acts like he's doing me a 'favour' by being with me, he tries to make me think that anyway so I can only assume that his motivation in putting me down is to make me feel grateful to him for being with me Angry

OP posts:
edam · 07/04/2006 20:46

Sounds like a tosser. Why are you with him?

lou33 · 07/04/2006 20:47

Why are you with him, exactly?

Pruni · 07/04/2006 20:48

He sounds like he's going to make it end in tears (if you don't get out first, dignity intact).

JoolsToo · 07/04/2006 20:48

sounds a bit like Charlie off Corrie - I'd get rid. I think he's trying to undermine you. Don't let it happen, move on to someone a bit more special he sounds like a knob!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 07/04/2006 20:49

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lockets · 07/04/2006 20:52

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JoolsToo · 07/04/2006 20:53

like that one lockets! Grin

VeniVidiVickiQV · 07/04/2006 20:53

Grin lockets!

rummum · 07/04/2006 20:54

why do you think he behaves like this.. because it sounds to me like he's really insecure, and he will treat you like this for as LONG AS YOU LET HIM..get out now.....

PinkTulips · 07/04/2006 20:55

DUMP HIM, DUMP HIM, DUMP HIM!

oh, i'd castrate dp for even one of those comments, then i am rather highly strung but still!

dublindee · 07/04/2006 20:59

Give his ar@e a good kick out the door. You don't need that from anyone least of all a supposed boyfriend!

mummypumpkin · 07/04/2006 21:00

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummypumpkin · 07/04/2006 21:01

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
dextersgirl · 07/04/2006 21:03

LOL I wish I had some of the quick comments you lot had! Grin I will try and remember some though!

OP posts:
mummypumpkin · 07/04/2006 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ahundredtimes · 07/04/2006 21:30

dextersgirl - from this thread and others you seem to know he's way out of line and unpleasant and making you feel bad. What is stopping you from dropping him? Are you scared?

tillykins · 07/04/2006 21:55

tell him to shove it - he will only get worse, he sounds horrid

waterfalls · 07/04/2006 21:59

He is bullying you, show him the door FGS, he wont change, he will get far worse.

lilianna · 07/04/2006 22:00

ive just read your other threads and really you are best living without this what you call a man.
its not fair on you or your children to put up with this shallow pigheaded nogood.
i dont mean to sound so harsh but this sounds like my ex husband towards the end of the relationship and i hate men like that.

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