Thanks Faire I like the bowling (and other) ideas but dancing, in the past, has HAD to be after a few glasses of wine. It strikes me, the realme, is so much more introverted than my drinking alter-ego! I'm facing having to re-learn who I am and how to deal with almost every social occasion.
Fuck, this is hard.
Your kind word were heartening Soma. I find myself frightened to face life, new relationships, new experiences without alcohol. It's been such a big part of my life so far - a bit like stabilisers on a bike (don't worry, I know the irony of that particular simile). The Tasty Farmer seems like a 'normal' drinker but then, I guess, so do I until you get to know the 'real' me. I suppose I viewed alcohol as the 'oil' for the wheels of life. I'm pretty sure I've scared a few chaps off by my excesses. I just want, so much, to be different - normal. I, too, have made some bad choices under 'the influence'. I've put myself in, potentially, dangerous situations due to alcohol - and vowed the next day to never to that again. Sigh.
Joey It is a mad time of year and we seem to have to be all things to all people! Had to 'man' two stalls at the school Christmas Fayre today - but - enjoyed it! Who knew!
The Good News Bit. The Tasty Farmer had someone crash into him in his Land Rover this morning (that's NOT the Good News bit!!) and he text me to tell me (THAT'S the good news bit!). Maybe, just maybe, I'm creating a Wolfe sized patch in his life?!
Baby and Ma Sending you heaps of hugs. I'm doing really crap at the moment and have no idea how I have fallen so far from how well I was doing 7 days ago. I suppose it's about perseverance. My weight is going up and my self esteem is going down and I don't understand how I seem to have so little hold on the whole friggin' process. I wish us all the courage and strength to get back to a better place - really soon. xxx
Thanks Green I'm really trying to be good to myself but really struggling! During my drinking 'lifetime', I've been pregnant 3 times and each time I've managed to give up totally. It seems as if giving up for someone else is more important than giving up for me?!
I have sooo much to do before my friend turns up tomorrow for a sleep over. Why do I do this to myself?
Pissed off with myself, very unhappy and in need of answers. x