After 14 months without a drink, I'm about to crack.

[IMAPRAT]

I can't take it anymore. I'm so unhappy and depressed....I could do with the comfort a drink or 6 will bring.

I'm fed up of Dh, he is kind but I wish he was not so forgetful, such a martyr. I'm depressed and I tried to be in a good place, I have stopped smoking, drinking, I exercise a lot.. His attitude doesn't change.

I know I'm drip feeding but I don't know how to explain.

Stay strong. Are you an alcoholic? Do you have children? I don't have much to say but I didn't want to read and run. This board is wonderful and someone clever will be along soon to give some good advice.

OP (and I bet you're not a prat) join us on this thread

OP the link I gave in my last post is The Brave Babes Battle Bus - there are loads of ladies here who have dubious relationships with alcohol and we all help each other.

I'm sorry you're having such a shit day. You know that a drink isn't going to make it any better though. 14 months is an amazing achievement.

Hang in there lovely

Ok. Emergency measures. Is there any drink in the house? If not get into your pjs now and put a gloppy face mask on. Brush your teeth. Put some toast on and have it with something sweet, syrup if you've got no jam in.
Come over to the thread sunny linked to and we can play tag team keeping you away from that fuckit button.

I have plenty of booze here, I have sniffed one bottle...I'm just really sad. I had therapy for a year and I don't know how to use the tools I was given anymore (CBT)...I'm so stressed. We are trying to save money for a deposit for a house but we have unsuspected bills coming from all over.

I'm unable to cope, I cant see the end of the tunnel. I'm unable to live and be happy.

Having a drink won't make the bills go away.
Write down how you'd feel in the morning if you had a drink. Not just the deep fried dog shit/ dry heaves/ bad breath and sweaty skin.
How would you feel?
And do the sweet food, brush your teeth thing.

I was really dependant of alcohol until 14 months ago, drinking 1-2 bottles of wine then yes I guess that makes me an alcoholic. The worst is I didn't crave a drink until tonight but I think I want to get at Dh..I made him believe I'm back on it.

You've done it all on your own haven't you?
And DH is just breezing along not recognising the turmoil that had you drinking like that and the strength that it's taken these last 14 months.
And now you just can't keep being strong with no support.
But, what's really amazing is that you don't want to drink
Because if you did you would have. It's in the house, DH thinks you have anyway. But you're not because although you're shattered and angry, you know you can't and you love yourself enough not to.

Have you had something sweet yet?

Jesus love u already sound like uve had a bottle, maudlin and depressed. If things aren't clear now imagine how foggy, shite and horrendous they will seem if u do have a drink?

Stay here, chat to us. However bad it looks right this second it won't be worth the drink.

Hugs. I'm reading and sitting here for u even if u can't c me....

I didn't drink and I don't think I won't, I have sent pictures of myself pretending to drink..I know childish.

No he certainely doesn't recognize the turmoil I'm into..he went out 5-6 times and we didnt go out for my birthday because the baby sitter plus cinema or restaurant was going to be a big operation.. Apparently he did a big fuss for the anniversary of my non drinking...We decided to move next year in a bigger house, I'm doing everything to increase my income..I have cancelled my trip to New York to put all the money towards the house deposit..I know the trip is not a priority but it gave me a goal, strenght, motivation...while he still doing the same job he has been doing for 15 years, 9 till 5...he promises me he 'll try to get another job..etc..

You may think it's horrible to put him under pressure but if you have a goal, you'll do anything to reach it..no ? I have increased my work.

Laciccolina - Oh shit, do I sound drunk ? I didn't have a drop I promise. English is not my first language

Thank you for your help and sitting with me

You don't sound drunk.
What support have you had for your not drinking?
Have you had something sweet yet?
And have you come over to the brave babes???

She sounds drunk. On a screen?

The advice to eat something sweet is very good. Try it - it will help.

The single thought that has kept me sober through very tough times is that nothing will be improved by my taking a drink. Nothing.

Keep talking here.

How you doing IMA?

I went to buy some ferrero rochers, fuck the diets for tonight. I stopped drinking with the Allen Carr method.

What is still stopping drinking is that I still remember the consequences, I still can tell you how I felt when I was drinking but what if one day I forget..what if I have another horrible day like that in which I'm feeling so down..

I have a big glass of white wine next to me, so dh can believe what he wants.

What is IMA ? I'll go on the bus later. You know I'm trying sooo hard at being a better person... I was a drunk because I was really depressed, I couldnt cope with stress and all the shit through at me..

I worked hard and I'm still depressed.

Don't punish yourself in order to punish him.

Why do you want him to think you're drinking?

So he thinks we are back into devastation.

IMAs you, OP.
I didn't want to type imaprat, because you're not.
You're playing a really high stakes game sitting with a chilled glass next to you. Is he home yet?

I don't know the Alan Carr method; it sounds like you really have 'got' ithe consequences of your drinking and it sounds like you know you can't drink normally.
AA helps you address the causes of your drinking. Have you considered it?

I wont drink, he is back, all I can do is cry. Thank you helpyourself you are so kind. I wont go on the brave bus, I'll bore them to tears.

Do we have to come and get you?
glares