After 14 months without a drink, I'm about to crack.

[IMAPRAT]

I can't take it anymore. I'm so unhappy and depressed....I could do with the comfort a drink or 6 will bring.

I'm fed up of Dh, he is kind but I wish he was not so forgetful, such a martyr. I'm depressed and I tried to be in a good place, I have stopped smoking, drinking, I exercise a lot.. His attitude doesn't change.

I know I'm drip feeding but I don't know how to explain.

You won't bore us, Ima. We'd be glad to see you :)

Big hugs xxx and do pour that drink away

IMAPRAT you won't bore anyone on the Brave Babes thread - we've all been where you are now, and possibly many of us will be be at that point sometime again. And who knows when any of us might be crying out for help. Or when we might be able to be there and hold someones hand while they remind themselves that having a drink really, really is not the answer.

Hi lovelies, I didn't drink, I don't even think I was going to but I definitely need to do something. There is obviously something not right with me.

" I think I want to get at Dh..I made him believe I'm back on it."

I had someone 'get at' me the same way. They chose to decide that giving up their addiction was 'for me' rather than their own initiative. They made me responsible when I had no input whatsoever. If they were annoyed with me for some reason they used it as an excuse to fall off their self-imposed wagon.... 'I'll show you' etc. Mostly they were inventing the annoyance or provoking a problem deliberately so that they could get back to the thing they craved. It was nothing to do with me at all. Over time I found this behaviour so tiresome and unfair that I simply didn't care what they did any more.

So examine your motives. Is your DH really this terrible figure making your life miserable? Is he really the problem here? Or is it more that you just really fancy a drink and are using him as a handy excuse.....?

It's more complicated than that...I have stop that addiction because I wanted to do that for me because it made me become an horrible person and I couldn't bear to hurt my family...

Now, on tuesday I was feeling really down and not really in a rational mood...Shoot me for being so sad, I couldn't get pick myself up from the floor. I didn't have that drink, I didn't fancy it...I just wanted a reaction from dh that's it. Its not something I use as a weapon everyday.

I'm sorry someone made you feel bad because of their addiction...I'm sure I was like that to my dh when I was a full-blow alcoholic.

Those of us who have been in your DH's position know how easy it is to be the one always doing or saying the wrong thing through no fault of our own. Even though we still care we simply run out of empathy because we're so used to the various dramas/promises/highs/lows that we can no longer differentiate between the wolf-crying and the genuine crises. 'Compassion fatigue'

I'm not 'shooting you for being sad' .... but I am not going to judge your DH harshly either. You were using the threat of another drink - self-harm - as a weapon to provoke a reaction and that is a shitty thing to do to another human being. If the pair of you aren't right for each other, split up rather than making each other miserable.

You don't know our situation, you can't fully understand the situation and tell me to split up rather than making each other miserable.

You do't know how sorry I am my dh had to leave with someone like me until I have stopped. Tuesday, it got on the top of me and I didn't think...having a bleep in 14 months...I think it could been worst.