Social Services - any experience???? Help!!

[verysadmum]

As you may know social services are finally coming to me tomorrow about ds (and about me too). For those that don't know my h has physically & mentally hurt myself and my ds (although to a lesser degree).

I am actually really quite terrified about it. They have the potential to take away ds, don't they? My house is still quite a mess (have minimised) so they will only have to look about a bit to see I'm not coping very well..

They are also going to want to know the details that I haven't really shared with anyone...

What do you think they'll ask? and want to know? will it 1 person?... sorry.

Has anyone else had any experience of them? or even better still, does anyone work for them? Help!!

that is so true vsm.

Give it time vsm, you never really know how people will react. You've put the seed there now which is a start. It was brave of you to say anything

Unfortunatly I really do know how they'll react (to us seperating - no details), I'll you why later.

Must fly ah has just called to say he's on his way over, (15 mins away).... and I need to get deleting history and tidy up so it looks like I'm doing fine without him..

Vsm i'm a bit confused, where is he staying now? What is the plan and why does he have access to the computer, checking the history ffs, he hasn't the right. What is going to happen next to get you your human rights back!

VSM - It's good to hear you're feeling a little better. Does AH really just turn up and insist on using your computer??? When will the 'man' realise that he can't just do as he pleases anymore? Grrrrr!

Well done vsm, it's the little things you will do, that will one day make you realise just how far you have come.

VSM Sorry i ahve not been not been able to get on the site, but glad things have gone well.

Just don't get back with dh i know that sounds hard but as the saying goes in SS "yOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE A MAN BUT YOUR CHILDREN ARE YOUR LIFE"

much love sorry again for not getting back to you you can email me if you like xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks. Sorry I haven't been about much but I haven't really felt great (and the time I did try MN was down!).

The school called me in on Friday afternoon to let me know they'd had a call from SS... and they now knew the severity and were quite shocked. It brought it straight back again.... They have had to let the office staff know now in case he should just turn up... I'm not sure I can ever look at them again... It wouldn't be mentioned to the governors would it?? I personally know 2 of them and 1 of those is an old family friend....

I know he checks the history (or at least has done) as they was one day where I checked it (as I saw an address I'd looked at the bginning of the toolbar and I knew I hadn't looked at it for a couple of days) and saw MN threads read THAT day and not by me (I'd been out).... I don't know that he saw anything - for a while after I only looked at MN at a friends house (certainly 'those' threads anyway..). He may not be checking now but then again he might be.... I have even thought about posting that 'everything's fine again' to get him off my case. I haven't - obviously.

If I complained he would either disable the computer or remove it. I expect he has the knowledge to check up on me even with me deleting the history...

He is due over again at around 4ish....

vsm, please don't worry about the people at school, they won't think any less of you and none of this is your fault. I know you know this but it seems so unfair that you should be feeling worry and shame (not sure if this is the right word but ykwim) when you've done nothing wrong and everything right. IMO there's no need for the governors to know so I wouldn't worry about it. I don't understand why he is around so much, I know it's none of my business but it does seem that he may still be trying to control you - he has no right to remove the computer or to disable it and in fact is only allowed into the house as YOUR guest presumably? Thinking of you. And please don't post that everything's fine if it isn't - he shouldn't make you feel you have to lie for him here (or anywhere else for that matter).

VSM - I'm fairly sure that the governors wouldn't need to know anything about your situation. Information like that would be confidential. I agree with WWW - you've done nothing wrong and everything right. You have nothing to be ashamed of and everything to be proud of.

It might not be completly my fault but I still desperatly don't want people (that I know) knowing... Even with the couple of friends that know I find it hard...

WWW - it's still his house though and his computer, I realistically have no right trying to stop him and I wouldn't anyway.. He's not around that much, more than I would like though.

He's gone now anyway (if you didn't guess!) and I'm not planning to be at home much tomorrow.

Thanks, Me xx