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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Father's and daughters

65 replies

Andyrew · 06/01/2004 15:05

At what age do father's need to start being dressed in front of their daughter's? My ex is unhappy that I have said that he should be dressed when DD stays with him at the weekend, am I being too prim? DD is just 7 and has not said she has a problem.

OP posts:
dinosaur · 06/01/2004 16:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Kayleigh · 06/01/2004 16:18

Andyrew I second M2T.
I hope it doesn't stop you using the site either in your present incarnation or a future one.

M2T · 06/01/2004 16:18

Twinkie - Eh?? Why should she change her name? I don't think M2T is particularly feminine.... or Twinkie!

I'm with you Thomcat.

Back to the original post. Does he walk about naked in front of her? And is she hasn't said anything then how do you know he does?

fio2 · 06/01/2004 16:21

there is nothing wrong with being naked

Festivefly · 06/01/2004 16:23

I haven't got a problem with seeing my dad in a towel or something, its not sexual is it, i'm used to it, i'll probably have to bath him at some stage anyway

M2T · 06/01/2004 16:23

Are there any nudists here? Fio2??

Crunchie · 06/01/2004 16:24

This is something my dh has brought up before, and my oldest is only 4. He asked what I thought and I have no idea what is right or wrong. I do remeber my dad walking from the bathroom to his bedroom naked, I guess I would have been nearly a teenager. It wasn't like he wondered around the house like that though. I think you may be worrying a bit too soon, TBH isn't it better that your dd knows what a male body looks like? I can't remember ever been shocked by my dad, I am certainly not damaged. I think you should allow him to play it by ear, when your dd feels uncomfortable is the time to stop. I would prefer my children don't see bodys as embarassing or shameful.

zebra · 06/01/2004 16:25

Andryew: well, I never for a moment thought your post was a troll. Nothing about it rang alarm bells for me.

fio2 · 06/01/2004 16:25

both my parents used to walk around with no clothes on and me and dh walk around with no clothes on too. I even make drinks in the morning and do the hoovering in the duff sometimes.

fio2 · 06/01/2004 16:26

infact we never shut the bathroom door, neither did my folks. I used to think it was weird that kids hadnt seen their folks naked!

JanH · 06/01/2004 16:27

fio - ironing too? Knitting? You aren't Sarah Jessica are you?

Festivefly · 06/01/2004 16:27

same here fio, i always chat to my mum when shes in the bath, etc

fio2 · 06/01/2004 16:28

lol janh. I wouldnt like to risk it with the ironing...ouch! I wish i was SJP

cant be a very pretty site me walking around in the buff anyway!

Twinkie · 06/01/2004 16:29

Message withdrawn

Andyrew · 06/01/2004 16:32

Thank you.
Don't think he parades, but sleeps naked and so when she wakes up and gets into bed in the morning he has nothing on. She mentioned it in passing at Christmas when she unwrapped pj's. With StepDD my partner always makes sure he is covered up and she is the same age - but could this just be our upbringing? My family home was always a dressed house, but I know his was fairly open.
Like I say, she is not bothered at all by this, so maybe I am being too overbearing?

OP posts:
pie · 06/01/2004 16:32

I sincerely apologise Andyrew. I must be in a horrid paranoid frame of mind today. Keep posting!!

FWIW, if your ex and DD are ok then I don't think its a problem.

Sorry again.

fio2 · 06/01/2004 16:35

Andyrew I think it would most probably make you feel uncomfortable if you were not used to this yourself as a child. I was used to nakedness, so it has never bothered me - my dh his house was alot more victorian and he is ALOT more prudish than me......but dont tell him I have told you all that

nearlymybeetrootday · 06/01/2004 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

fio2 · 06/01/2004 16:37

how did i guess?

ThomCat · 06/01/2004 16:37

I'm with Chrunchie - it shouldn't be seen as shameful. The only reason I ever cover up in front of Lottie is beacuse she has an obsession with grabbing my nipples when she sees them, so I sometimes have to keep th duvet over them when she's in bed with us in the mornings!

I can understand if you're not massively open about these things that you would feel slightly odd about your DD's step-dad being naked around her but if it doesn't bother her you should try not to show that it might bother you a bit.

TC x

StressyHead · 06/01/2004 16:38

message withdrawn

Browbeaten · 06/01/2004 16:38

I agree with crunchie that I don't want my children thinking naked bodies are shameful. My dh didn't have a problem with our dd seeing him in the shower till recently as she now asks the most embarrassing questions - she's 3 and follows people into the toilet - relatives are a little taken aback! I try to be open with her but then don't want her showing her bottom to the world either or discussing mum's bits with the ladies at the playgroup :0

ghengis · 06/01/2004 16:43

DH and I usually wear nothing in bed and our children see us naked frequently. It's quite natural, isn't it? There is no embarrassment or prudishness.

PS I'm not one of those things that goes trip trap, trip trap!

Andyrew · 06/01/2004 16:43

Yeap, I can see now that I am being too prudish,will relax about it and thanks everyone for the comments. Promise next time to post something lighter, cake baking or knitting patterns (clothed though!)
Thanks again.

OP posts:
ThomCat · 06/01/2004 16:45

Ohhh - naked cake baking!!!!!!!!!!!!