Why are people so insensitive?

[emsiewill]

Just wanted to moan.....

Db and sil are home educating their daughter. Although it's not what I have chosen for my children, I have supported them all the way, and truly believe that it can be a really positive thing to do. In fact, if I was a better person (ie could bear to spend 24/7 with my kids), would consider it myself. SIL and I have had many conversations where I have expressed these views to her, so she is aware of my feelings.

Over the festive period, I asked her whether she was never tempted to send her dd to school, as it is a lovely church school (and they are active members of the church, my brother is a governor of the school) 2 minutes walk from their house. It was a a fairly light remark in the "imagine all that freedom" vein. I found her reply very insensitive. She said "oh no, the more I learn about schools, the less I want dd to go to one. They're like minature prisons for children. It's a subtle form of child abuse".

Maybe I'm being over sensitive, but can she really believe that I would send my children to a "minature prison" every day to be "subtly abused"? She can clearly see that my dds are happy, bright and well adjusted children, and as they spend a fair % of their time at school, surely they wouldn't be like that if it was so awful?

I'm really fed up with dealing with people who are not willing to take on board other people's opinions or just say nothing for the sake of good relations.

It's off my chest now. Thank you for listening.

I think my ds1 qualifies for the most insensitive remark of all time which, 20yrs on, still haunts me. When he was about 5 his schoolfriend J's mum lost a baby to cot death. A couple of years later she told us she was pg again. Before I could even say congratulations ds1 piped up 'I hope it doesn't die like the last one did!'.

OMG, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I was gawping like a fish, unable to make a sound and seeing stars, while my world went black and white. Meanwhile, my friend completely kept her cool and said with a smile that 'J said just the same thing! But don't worry, I'm sure this one will be fine.' When I phoned her later to apologise she was so nice about, saying that ds1 hadn't meant it unkindly, he was only 7yo etc and not to worry. What a woman. Btw she later had a healthy boy.

suedonim, that's incredible!

In the space of 2 days, DS1 has asked why my elbows are wrinkly (to which DH replied 'mummy looks like a hippopotamus, doesn't she,'
and why I've got a bit of fat on the front of my tummy. Nice.

Suedonim - that reminds me...My brother asked my uncle who had just had a still born baby whether he was going to leave his wife because she was "no good." He was probably only about 7 at the time.