Here is my situation. H has been displaying classic signs of MLC for past year.
He started going to gym, and eventually spending more and more time there. Became distant and emotionally unavailable. We have 4DC. I tried to get him to talk about what was wrong and how we could fix things. He explained that he had felt that we were in a bit of a rut and that we should try to do more things together: walks/ lunches etc, which we did. A few months ago he started spending more time at gym and becoming even more distant at home with me and the children. I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and asked him if he was seeing someone else. He said no. I asked if he had maybe met someone at gym. He said no. Alarm bells started deafening me when he out of the blue he decided on a new phone contract, and then would not let phone out of his sight. I asked him why he was being so careful with the phone and he went mad and said I was spying on him and that I was making our situation a million times worse with my behaviour. He said he found the atmosphere at home intolerable and that he needed space. I ended up apologising. When ever I tried to discuss the situation it would end up with me in tears, and him saying " I dont know what you want me to say". We decided that if he needed space that he should move out for a few weeks and have time to think, but yesterday I caught him out on a lie as to where he had been on Monday after work, and he finally came clean. He said: " I met someone at the gym and over time we have developed a friendship" It turns out she is younger than him and has a child. He has been meeting up with her regularly and contacts her using the phone hence the secrecy. I knew in my heart he was seeing someone. He says that it hasnt gone beyond friendship but he has a bond with this woman. I am absolutely devastated. We told our 4DC last night that my H was moving out. They are aged 9 to 16. They are so upset and we were all just crying for hours. He obviously doesnt love me anymore. I am far from family with only a part time job ( the same place my H works so I cant stay there) and we are living in a rented house. I need some practical advice please on what to do. It feels as if we are grieving for my H. He has gone to a bnb temporarily until he can rent somewhere for himself. He says he wants to come back regularly to see the children. I want to control how often that happens.
He has obviously been thinking about the outcome of this for a while and I am reeling with the end of our marriage.