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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

H has left. How do you deal with devastation.

73 replies

Capslockshift · 15/11/2012 07:20

Here is my situation. H has been displaying classic signs of MLC for past year.
He started going to gym, and eventually spending more and more time there. Became distant and emotionally unavailable. We have 4DC. I tried to get him to talk about what was wrong and how we could fix things. He explained that he had felt that we were in a bit of a rut and that we should try to do more things together: walks/ lunches etc, which we did. A few months ago he started spending more time at gym and becoming even more distant at home with me and the children. I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and asked him if he was seeing someone else. He said no. I asked if he had maybe met someone at gym. He said no. Alarm bells started deafening me when he out of the blue he decided on a new phone contract, and then would not let phone out of his sight. I asked him why he was being so careful with the phone and he went mad and said I was spying on him and that I was making our situation a million times worse with my behaviour. He said he found the atmosphere at home intolerable and that he needed space. I ended up apologising. When ever I tried to discuss the situation it would end up with me in tears, and him saying " I dont know what you want me to say". We decided that if he needed space that he should move out for a few weeks and have time to think, but yesterday I caught him out on a lie as to where he had been on Monday after work, and he finally came clean. He said: " I met someone at the gym and over time we have developed a friendship" It turns out she is younger than him and has a child. He has been meeting up with her regularly and contacts her using the phone hence the secrecy. I knew in my heart he was seeing someone. He says that it hasnt gone beyond friendship but he has a bond with this woman. I am absolutely devastated. We told our 4DC last night that my H was moving out. They are aged 9 to 16. They are so upset and we were all just crying for hours. He obviously doesnt love me anymore. I am far from family with only a part time job ( the same place my H works so I cant stay there) and we are living in a rented house. I need some practical advice please on what to do. It feels as if we are grieving for my H. He has gone to a bnb temporarily until he can rent somewhere for himself. He says he wants to come back regularly to see the children. I want to control how often that happens.
He has obviously been thinking about the outcome of this for a while and I am reeling with the end of our marriage.

OP posts:
reindeerjumper · 15/11/2012 09:40

You need to get std tests too. Sorry

fiventhree · 15/11/2012 09:48

What an utter hog, he is, Caps. So obviously feeling sorry for himself when he asked for that hug, when his kids were crying as a result of his own selfishness. So he needs a make better hug.

I think you must be reeling from having been so royally lied to. Of course, he will have slept with her. Dont trust him from now one, and believe what you can depend on- that he cant be trusted an inch to put you or the kids first.

Take very quick action re bank accounts etc, The books on infidelity would also advise that right away you put enormous pressure on his cozy love nest situation by telling his friends, parents and anyone else. Force him to face up to what he has done.

akaemmafrost · 15/11/2012 09:49

You are doing the right thing, as hard as it feels. A weekend of BnB and homelessness should start to begin the clarification process of the choices he has made. It was all whirlwind and "feelings" before, now it's real, crack on H!

I think the worst thing someone can do in this situation is allow the wandering spouse to keep a foot in both camps, allowing them to detach slowly and gently and at their own pace. No chance Angry! Certainly when I was younger I would have thought "well if he hasn't made up his mind I don't want to make it easy for him to go to her by throwing him out". With hindsight I realise it does not work like that at all.

Bonsoir · 15/11/2012 09:53

"He says he wants to come back regularly to see the children. I want to control how often that happens."

Don't let your H leave you with all the work related to the family and let him swan in and visit. Start as you mean to go on: he must take the children out of your home (it is no longer his home) if he wants to see them. You need to show him the reality of his new life.

Lueji · 15/11/2012 10:11

It is going to be tough because you are losing someone.
The grieving is similar to a death.

He says he has nowhere to go at weekend
Ah, though.
I'm sure he'll find somewhere. How about the OW? Friends, family, etc?

And don't forget to protect your finances asap.

I know it's terrible to have to think about these things, but a separation can be worse than a death in that respect. Sad

MadAboutHotChoc · 15/11/2012 10:27

What a twat.

So sorry you are having to go through this as a result of his selfishness.

You have lots of great advice - when you see him, fake being dignified and detached. He made the choice to cheat and check out of his marriage & family life so he shouldn't be seeking comfort from you.

The weekend is not your problem - I would pack all his things in bin bags and leave by the door ready for him to take away. He needs to feel the hard cold reality of what he has done.

wordfactory · 15/11/2012 10:28

He has decided the marriage is over. So he must now beahve as if it were over.

Ensure he regularly takes the DC from your home and looks after them.

MrsTomHardy · 15/11/2012 11:17

Agree with everything others have said.

Time to get tough!

Capslockshift · 15/11/2012 11:38

I would like to post updates from time to time. All the advice and good wishes are helping me so much. Thank you all.
I look a right state, but I feel supported. That is worth so much. x

OP posts:
olgaga · 15/11/2012 14:11

Well done Caps, this is a terrible process but you will come through it.

UnlikelyAmazonian · 15/11/2012 14:40

It won't last. And he will want to come back. He might start saying 'I love both of you' or 'I don't know what to do as she has been pursuing me and I have been so weak but I have been worried about her mental health...what should I do?'

Has he changed the way he dresses at all? No more suits but jeans instead? Or some other such change?

Do you want him back?

UnlikelyAmazonian · 15/11/2012 14:42

I also hope and trust that you have set an amount that he has to start paying you for your dc while he is out of the home. I think 450 a month would be a decent starting point. Have you agreed any of this?

UnlikelyAmazonian · 15/11/2012 14:50

And I would do opposite of the bin bag thing. I would (possibly) take his stuff our of drawers/cupboards and put it somewhere well out of sight as this helps YOU. Packing his stuff up for him merely saves HIM a job.

Fold or pack his items and ask him to pay for their removal and storage - he can then access them as and when he wants.

Now, start making your home more and more lovely. Light fires/candles in the windows/burn incense/get rid of those shitty energy saving sapping lightbulbs. Dress comfortably and beautifully. Have nice bubble baths. Change the message on your answerphone.

You are his wife and until he has un-made you his wife, deliberately and expensively, then you make that clear to him. You and his children have needs. Financial needs. If he wants to un-make you his wife, well, let him go-ahead. You're house will be lovely and you will get over him.

AgathaF · 15/11/2012 14:55

I'm so sorry. What an absolute shit to do that to his wife and family.

You've had some fantastic advice from experienced posters, and you sound so strong and collected.

I definitely agree with all those who have said keep him out of your home - he made his choice, without consulting you any step of the way, he has to live that choice now. I'm sure he can take them to the cinema and McD's on Friday night. Let him collect them from the doorstep, not inside.

homeaway · 15/11/2012 15:01

I am so sorry, I agree that since he has lied so well how can you believe anything that he says, he only came clean as he had no choice. Your priority has to be yourself and the kids. Have you got joint bank accounts ? You will need to open an account in your name, get all important documents and make sure that they are somewhere safe. Keep strong.

AnyFucker · 15/11/2012 16:37

He will be back with his cock between his legs before too long. I hope you tell him to Fuck right off.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 15/11/2012 16:48

Read this just now and see you have had tons of great advice already, want to add a voice of support. Your instincts were spot on, small consolation I know but you gave him ample opportunity to talk things through months' ago, he had no compunction in stringing you along while he was getting involved with OW. Do not blame yourself or wonder what you could have done sooner, adulterers often disparage or find fault with home circumstances rather than look at themselves or try to work things out.

As your youngest is 9 there is no reason the DCs can't dress up warmly and wait for Dad to pick them up and go out when he calls round. He managed to improvise enough times already this year I am sure he can cope looking after his own offspring.

Hope you have rl support,the Mumsnetters can be a real help so keep posting if you want to vent.

Allalonenow · 15/11/2012 17:00

I don't have any advice, except that you must secure your finances as quickly as possible. I know how much you will be hurting, but it does get easier as the days go by.

He must be heartless weak and selfish to abandon a wife and four children, but you sound brave and strong Caps. All kind thoughts to you and your children.

LifeMovesOn · 15/11/2012 17:01

I am so, so sorry to hear about another one, Caps.

You are right to be devastated and realing, and it's easy for me to say, but life WILL get better - I am living proof of that.

The most important person in all of this is... you. You are what holds your family together (discounting the Twunt of course) - your family is you and your lovely children.

Take care of yourself, listen to advice on here from those of us that have been there - and gain strength in that you will get over it. Time moves on every day and every day you will experience different emotions.

Blub if you want to - better out than in. Rage. Then you'll realise you're laughing again.

18 years is a long time to be married (I was 19, together with nearly 22).

Take care.

HoolioHallio · 15/11/2012 17:16

So sorry for you and your kids. The script he follows is depressingly familiar. Crying is good, as is throwing things Wink

This will get easier -but it will be a roller coaster. I think the key thing for me was to remember that he and OW are steps ahead of you in planning what will happen with regards your home, your finances, your kids etc so take your time to mull over each new issue and don't let yourself be bullied into anything.

Hope the kids are okay - mine are smaller but my neighbour has just found out that her 'D'H has had an affair and I know that she is now dealing with being the focus of the kids anger, and is being blamed for dad leaving. I've had a little of that from my eldest and it's very hard to hear when you know the truth about why he's gone.

Capslockshift · 15/11/2012 22:25

Tonight the kids and I laughed a bit for the first time watching "Im a celebrity".
It was a little bit of light relief amongst the doom and gloom that has descended and it made me hopeful for the future. I have to go to work tomorrow to discuss the best way forward with boss. H wont be in work ( not sure where he will be, trying not to care). Then its off to CAB for some advice.
My neighbour brought a dvd and sweets for the kids and some wine for me. The kindness of everyone is overwhelming. I havent thought of the finance stuff yet but I need to. Im hoping that we can discuss the impotrtant issues in a reasonable way. H texted me this afternoon asking how I was whilst I was packing away all his belongings. That was tough. I told the truth and said I was finding the whole situation heartbreaking. Wish I hadnt done that though. It was a weak moment, but he texted back with the " I never wanted to hurt you" line and " as long as I can still be part of you and the kids lives" and it reinforced the fact that I need to stop blubbing and start thinking straight. He is coming tomorrow as I mentioned to see the kids briefly and pick up his stuff. When he moves into his rental place which should be next week he can take the children there. Thank you all so much once again for the fantastic advice and encouragement. Ill keep you posted Mumsnetters. x

OP posts:
Doha · 15/11/2012 22:37

Remind him that he will always be a part of his DC's life but the minute he walked out of the door he ceased to be a part of your life.
Be strong, be tough, he is probably keeping his options open in case it doesn't work out with OW

skyebluesapphire · 15/11/2012 23:03

Very sorry to read this. Know exactly how you are feeling. ex walked out at Easter. I agree, don't let him in the house, it does confuse the kids too much... He will always be part of their life, but he is no longer part of yours. While I was letting XH in and hugging him it was always heartbreaking to see him go again. He cannot have cake and eat it too...

I was devastated back at Easter and couldn't imagine life without him . Slowly by surely you WILL start to deal with it. You will grieve and you will get angry. It's all part of the process. You will get fantastic help advice and support in here.

Remember. He has thrown it all away, not you. He distanced himself from you and hid his phone, just like my X. It will take a while, take it day by say, step by step. Get legal advice, contact tax credits, council tax. Surround yourself with real life support.

My life fell apart from February onwards. Next Tyesday I'm going on a date with a funny, caring man. Something that 9 months ago, I never envisaged would happen ever.

Look after your DC and look after yourself.

Punkatheart · 15/11/2012 23:23

Breathe. Live well. Hug your children. You will be their rock. So many men (and some women) are so stupid. They cannot see that this will not make them happy - it just makes them fools.

I am so so sorry my darling, that you are hurt. It will take a while. I am further along but it has been hard. But now, there are some days when I see happiness. I actually see happiness. You may not be able to at the moment but trust me, it will come.

Keep talking...whatever you feel, let it out....

Abitwobblynow · 16/11/2012 07:05

Caps you must remember this: he fired you as his wife.
Somebody else's hot twat and admiring eyes was much better.

So all wifely things he takes for complete granted, the house the home the hugs HIS children in HIS house must be withdrawn.

So next time he sends a fcking stupid text like 'how are you' either ignore it or 'I have been fired as your wife'.

DO NOT ENGAGE. He chose to be a Disney Dad, a MacDonalds Man, a park Pa, what did he think was going to happen?

The thing that motivates these people, is loss. He must lose you. Don't cling, beg, plead, cry, talk. Don't engage. Live as though he is never coming back, this is never a waste of time (it grows independence muscles you didn't know you had).
Get a solicitor, sort out your finances. Knowledge is not action. If he hears you doing all this, whilst his addiction might be fading, he might get a hell of a fright and give you what he hasn't been giving for a very long time: respect.

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