Family feud

[xmasevebundle]

I am the only girl in my family, 4 brothers.

2 of whom i speak to the other 2 i wont.

Happened a while ago due to me being with my exp and treating my mum and dad 'like shit' my brothers gf took it upon herself to say i was in the wrong and even had ago saying how many men i have sex with(its far less than her)

Anyway fast foward a few months, im pregnant and i left my exp cos hes a manchild! I still havent spoken to brother neither his gf since she messaged me. I started arguing with my other brother, we clash a lot.......... He started saying this, he was far worse than what i have done.

On my mums birthday went out for the day 2 out 4 didnt bother as normal, it was a very long day and i said to my mum in the kitchen im going to bed so please done be to fucking loud and smiled. She said okay, then my brother called me twat and hell broke lose. I lost my temper.

His gf smirked in my face and said get the fuck out the house. Asking where my exp was saying hes no where to be seen, baby being a bastard, basically being a bitch. She said dont start on me. If i wasnt pregnant i would of punched her sqaure in the face(sorry!!) BTW its my parents home i pay rent each week without fail.

Then my brother, her partner calls me a slag. This point my mum walked out and i had 2 fully grown men shouting abuse at me. I asked why i was a slag he did not reply. They all went home, mums birthday spoilt.

They deleted my mum off facebook which i think is very cruel as they had the problem with me.

My mum and dad was in a serious car accident. NEITHER rung and asked how they was. I was doing everything for my mum and dad. I was 26w at the time, i even got rushed to hospital be because of a series water infection.

I mean its mostly about my mum as its her children not mine and they do this. If anything happened to either she would do it.

After a year fued with one after he called my mum 'a fucking bint' in town. She helped him move into a flat and he does this?

I feel so helpless, i mean will my mum ever stop enough is enough?

Sorry for the long post.

Because i was 18 and it was free as i was under 19. So why waste a year doing something i already have learned to do?

Or go do farming and get an extra qualification?

Thats WHY?

But why didn't you go to work?

wouldn't it have made more sense to get a job hairdressing? also, hairdressing training doesn't stop at level 2/3 you can progress further and it still would have been free.

Am surprised at your age! You come across as a particularly irksome 14 year old tbh.

Ill i get now is Income support when DS is born i will get child benefit and tax.

Most places in my area wont accept DSS(benefits). All i need someone to let me stay there for 3-4 months on DSS to get on my feet most of them wont agree with it.

My mum and dad have money saved up but its not there place to give me neither help me. I would also have to find a job before i even looked into moving out. As i would have to find a babysitter for DS, fund that,food,bills, there is just no way unless i saved up.

£500 would get a 1 bed flat in town, i dont care what it is really. If i got a private rented house it would make no sense as i would be already housed and deemed even lower to re-house(council)

What a lovely environment in which to bring a child.

What when i was at the farming course? Because it was a full time 6 days a week.
6am-6pm hour there and back.

I didnt want to go futher into it, i knew how to cut and colour. I didnt want to expand to level 3. I wanted to try something new.

Yes more sense but at the time i wanted to try something different. I also tried applying for jobs whilst pregnant.

I dont know why everyone is being so jugdmental over what i did.

I dont think saying 'what a lovely enviroment to bring up a child '

If you was in my situation, you wouldn't be so sniggery at other people's misfortune.

" If i got a private rented house it would make no sense as i would be already housed and deemed even lower to re-house(council) "

you wouldn't need the council house then!! you would have a house. yes it wouldn't be as cheap as the council house but you cant have it all. also, you say most people wont take DSS, well that's most, not all. find out from all the local agents which ones will. also, put an ad on gumtree for your area, "wanted 1/2 bedroom in X or surrounding area, max budget of £X, must accept DSS, need for X date can provide references (if you can?) contact xmasevebundle on 1234567890" that's how i got my house before this one.

if you want out of your parent's house then you will have to accept that YOU have to do something about it. were you going to wait until you are 25 and can get a council house before moving out?

what misfortune?

Ok. You were always going to get PG weren't you? Realistically, it was always a given. There was never king to be any hairdressing job, or any sheep one for that matter. Anyway, onward and upward - I think you need to focus on your behavioural issues and worry a bit less about your brothers'. Work on your temper, the way you speak to your mother and your difficult relationship with your siblings and most other people I'll hazard a guess.

If you want to avoid having all sorts of behavioral problems in your son then you really need to start with yourself. Stop looking to apportion blame to this or that person, stop flying off the handle when you face criticism and start looking inward at how to be the capable, mature adult that you now need to become, unless the whole sorry saga repeats itself in your son. Please. Do that child a favour and grow up pronto.

going, not king

No i was to stay here, until i saved up enough money until i could move out. 2 years i worked out to save enough (when i found a job) i had a placed job after i did my farming hense the reason why i did it but i had to leave.

No i wasn't going to ALWAYS going to get pregnant, this is the only child i can carry but thanks for all the lovely helpful information.

Being very jugdemental on me when you really should keep comment like 'i always was going to get pregnant' to yourself as it can cause offence as it has me.

Some women are told they cant have children and when YOU are pregnant by that slim chance of hope. You keep the child.

Removes myself from the thread.

About the only time a person can be told in all truth that they'll never be able to carry a child is if she's had her uterus and/or ovaries removed.

you cant know that this is the only child you will carry unless you are going to have a hysterectomy after it's born or never having sex again.

and again, what misfortunes?

really OP you asked for advice on how to help your mum. people responded telling you to sort your behaviour out, you replied saying "but it's not me, it's them, they're far worse than me blah blah blah" so people have said leave the house, and now you're saying you can't till your 25/till your baby's a year/til you've had a job for 2 years etc etc. you need to grow up, stop arsing about with different course just cause they're free, start lining up possible jobs now for when your baby is a bit older, same with a house (it is possible!) stop stalling the moving out process (that you had already started with exp btw), stop abusing your mum, stop getting into ridiculous fights with other idiots, sort your temper out, take care of you and your baby, let the rest of them do whatever they want but get yourself out of it, make your life a hell of a lot less stressful and dramatic. be an adult.

To be fair to OP, when I was 16 I was diagnosed with PCOS and the gynaecologist told me point blank I'd never have children of my own. Six years later I was pregnant with DS. .

Does the OP have PCOS? I missed that.

every single person i know who has told me they had PCOS was telling as an explanation for how they got pregnant. i do not know 1 single person who has told me they've had it that hasn't had a baby after diagnosis. who the hell are all these doctors getting it so bloody wrong?

IME of people with PCOS. a diagnosis has 100% chance of being followed by pregnancy.

Which will be done after i have my son, everything will be taken out due a medical problem(which i do NOT need to explain myself) So thanks and yes this is my only child.

fair enough op. all my other advice stands.

OP, you don't have to explain your health issues at all.

I do think you need to re-think your living arrangements, though. Babies are noisy and messy, you may find yourself clashing with your family if they get frustrated by crying/mess etc. You will need space to be mum, too, without feeling like your mum/dad are trying to take over. If you can get your own place, you have somewhere safe to retreat to if and when your brothers and their gf's start a row. Your baby deserves peace and quiet.

I have one misscariage too with my exp, after he said its me or the baby?

Who would seriously abort a baby(which they are told they cant carry and if so will lead to a full hyst) and try give it the best you can and that little bit more?

Thats my misfortune, only been able to have one child. Why i replied with that.

I cant afford to go buy a house or rent one, but as long as my baby has a clean,fed,warm and happy. I couldnt care if i lived in my mum and dads house or the car.