Since so many of you expended so much time and care on me earlier this summer.
We're still together. We passed our 20th anniversary together a few weeks back. No big party. We exchanged gifts but it was low-key. It meant more in an odd way because our marriage has been so badly shaken and we aren't taking anything for granted anymore. I am not wearing a wedding ring - it's only a symbol but it meant a lot to me. dH knows I will only wear it again when he has completely got over her and there are only 2 people in the relationship. dH is being loving and caring again, in a calmer and sustainable way, not the passionate panic of the first few weeks. It begins to feel right between us - being with him was like coming home, had forgotten what that felt like for a few years. I am remembering again and I like it. However there are no guarantees. We are taking it a day at a time.
OW is out of the picture. Still working at the same place but they have no need for regular contact. She tried to get things going again with dH a month or so ago but nothing doing. Rumours reach us that she has left her H. Hope so. He was a shit! But she is an utter irelevance to us now.
I have been seeing a counsellor. When I first went to see her I was a sobbing, wet-rag of a human being. Obsessed with the affair and desperate not to lose dH, no matter what. I left her last session, upright and confident, strong in the knowledge that I can deal with whatever happens, even losing dH if that is what happens. I wish I had been like this when I first found out but can't be helped now. If dH gives me that new wedding ring I am not totally sure I'll wear it. What I wanted 4 months ago isn't what I want now. Doors are open, and I feel as if I have options.
Thanks for all your help xx