Hello again, Orm's update (for anyone who is interested)

[Ormiriathomimus]

Since so many of you expended so much time and care on me earlier this summer.

We're still together. We passed our 20th anniversary together a few weeks back. No big party. We exchanged gifts but it was low-key. It meant more in an odd way because our marriage has been so badly shaken and we aren't taking anything for granted anymore. I am not wearing a wedding ring - it's only a symbol but it meant a lot to me. dH knows I will only wear it again when he has completely got over her and there are only 2 people in the relationship. dH is being loving and caring again, in a calmer and sustainable way, not the passionate panic of the first few weeks. It begins to feel right between us - being with him was like coming home, had forgotten what that felt like for a few years. I am remembering again and I like it. However there are no guarantees. We are taking it a day at a time.

OW is out of the picture. Still working at the same place but they have no need for regular contact. She tried to get things going again with dH a month or so ago but nothing doing. Rumours reach us that she has left her H. Hope so. He was a shit! But she is an utter irelevance to us now.

I have been seeing a counsellor. When I first went to see her I was a sobbing, wet-rag of a human being. Obsessed with the affair and desperate not to lose dH, no matter what. I left her last session, upright and confident, strong in the knowledge that I can deal with whatever happens, even losing dH if that is what happens. I wish I had been like this when I first found out but can't be helped now. If dH gives me that new wedding ring I am not totally sure I'll wear it. What I wanted 4 months ago isn't what I want now. Doors are open, and I feel as if I have options.

Thanks for all your help xx

Orm I remember your last thread - I remember thinking how lovely you sounded.

I'm glad you are feeling better in yourself. Lord knows you deserve some peace.

But I still think that what your husband has done is unforgivable. And not necessarily for the reasons you might think.

He had an affair with an extremely young woman - a woman half his age and only just into her full adulthood. This woman was in an abusive relationship, was actively self harming, and was extremely vulnerable.

Your husband is, in my view, a predator. And it is that part that I find the hardest to stomach.

However, your life is your own and you appear to have found a degree of resolution. I'm glad for you Orm and I hope things continue to improve for you, with or without your husband.

I'm so pleased you are happier and more together in yourself.

You are a lovely person and you very much deserve to be happy x

Thanks for the update. I'm glad it seems to be going ok and I hope it carries on that way for you.

Orm - I hadn't realised this was happening

I'm glad things sound like they are working out for you and send you every good wish.

I'm so pleased that you've found your strength Orm, that is all you need, your H will see that there's no panic if you 'lose' him, and if that doesn't focus his mind, nothing will!

Whatever happens, indeed, you CAN handle it.

And anyway, you know we're here for you, no matter what! :)

Op I am glad you are feeling better and wish you well for the future.

fuckit that's not really helpful. And its stretching to make the ow the victim.

Lovely to hear you are feeling so positive

Thanks all.

fuckit - yes she was a victim. But not of my husband. I think she found his attention a support and it appears to have given her the strength to leave her marriage. He was a twat, a naive fool and a selfish bastard, but not, IMO a predator.

Anyway not going to discuss it here anymore. I left MN for a while because of this subject. Only came back to say Hi and update you all.

Bless you orm. I am so, so glad that you are in a better place. What is very good to hear is that you have had some counselling which has really helped, and you feel strong, and know that whatever happens with you and your DH YOu are strong to be able to cope with it. I really hope things continue to go well. take care.

I am getorf btw on a stupid namechange.

Hi getorf! May I ask for some clarification re namechange? What morris man has been irritating you so much?

Lovely to hear how much better you are, and that you two are together.

You sound so positive and realistic too.

It was a very long thread the other day, where for some reason i confessed that I was in a dance troupe called the Cloggies when I was a kid. Anyway I was ACCUSED of being a morris man so I typed "I AM NOT A MOTHERFUCKING MORRIS MAN".

I think you had to be there.

The cloggies? !! ? Really ?

Morris man would be worse ?

Trouble is, GetOrf, I can just picture you in the outfit ...

Oh, wishing you the best, Orm. Thanks for the update. You're both really working hard on this and it's starting to pay off.

I had noticed your absence and wondered about you - am so glad you're OK, and sounding so positive about your future.

Many good wishes orm.

Good to hear that things are going well for you, Orm.

agree your DH is very lucky.

hope you are doing well, i missed this relationships stuff as was trying to reduce mn hours. And now I've failed , am back :)

the lovely squares are safe on my blanket upstairs... i imagine other little children snuggled up against them somewhere a few years ago :)

Thanks Matilda x

Edgar - bless you, all my little children snuggled with those beasties xx