Ex looked at child porn so I'm refusing access

[ClementineKelandra]

Ive been trying to write about this for weeks and quite frankly I'm terrified of what you are going to say to me.

I finally seperated from X earlier this year. I then found out that 6 years before I met him he was areasted, charged and cautioned for looking at images of child porn. He attended a 'rehabilitation' course for 2 years and had to sign the sex offenders register for 5 years.

I was and am still horrified and repulsed by the man I brought into my children's life. I'm beyond devestated.

I don't think he should have any access to the children but Ss are saying he can have 2 x 1.5 hour supervised contact with dd.

Please help me figure out what to do. I think I should refuse all access and let the bastard take me back to court. I am scared though, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing.

Cinnarbar, you are right. I think I have been lied to at every turn because it doesn't add up. That's why I'm going to contact the police today.

My older 2 children aren't having contact. Just my youngest. I didn't realise tht ss couldn't make me give X contact. I'm scared of them so I just complied with what they said. The man who has been dealing with this has been awful. He has a real air of superiority about him. I wish to god I hadn't contacted them but I have no support network and I'd heard that ss could be really helpful. Sadly that's not been the case with me.

I phoned home start too and I now have a lady coming out to me every week. I have been so desperate to get as much help as I can.

Longjane, he hasn't hurt every of them. It was of course a fear but I'm now confident that he hasn't. Because they are teenagers it has been much easier to talk to them.

*any

I'm not an expert, but wouldn't a google of his name turn up a conviction? Also, can you trust his ex to be telling you the truth?

OP someone up thread advised that you ring SS and tell them they are to close your case as you are getting legal advice. i think that's a good idea aswell as ringing the police today.

Right I've phoned the police. Somebody is going to phone me back. The lady I spoke to wasn't sure what would happen next but apparently the officer who is phoning me back will be able to advise me.

Why do I feel like I've done something wrong? I feel frightened and really shaky!

I've googled his name lots but there is nothing.

I will speak to Ss, probably wait until I've spoke to the police.

you haven't done anything wrong. all you are doing is trying to get as much info as possible to protect your children. you are doing the right thing. they wont tell you anything you aren't entitled to know so dont worry about knowing stuff you shouldn't.

Good luck Clementine. Please remember you haven't done anything wrong here. You are doing your very best to protect your children from someone who could be damaging to them. I hope the police are more helpful than SS.

Just a quickie to update.

I spoke to the police yesterday and a policeman phoned me back this morning. I was able to apply for disclosure so I've done that and I'm jyst waiting for them to get back to me now. It should be fairly quick from what he said.

That sounds good. At least you'll be in possession of the facts.

Well done, Clementine. Have been thinking of you.

Well done op, it sounds like you are being a brilliant mum and doing everything you can to protect your children.