The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

[Mouseface]

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

I'm sure I'm making it worse than it needs to be. She seems so well-behaved with other people... my MIL implied we were just Bad Parents (god, I am on a downer today! sorry)

Hi Soba I'm very much around! I didn't go down the Antabuse route, but glad to hear I was a support!

Stil not drinking, still going to AA. I was stuck in NY for an extra 5 nights and was posting last week.

Last night, lying in bed jet lagged and shattered, I had a craving- my first for over a year. I grounded myself- sent DH a text and switched the radio on, and it passed very quickly. I don't know whether it's helpful for anyone else, but I think it was this I used to often experience it as a child and now get it when tired or ill, I used to drink to make it go away, but now just centre myself. Knowing what it is really helps.

Blimey help I can only relate that to being on LSD or magic mushrooms! Not surprised you want to do something to make it stop! Well done for your amazing strength and resolve x

That description does sound very extreme. For me it's more a feeling of not being certain I'm asleep or awake and being uncertain of what size I am. I read about it on the javelin fanjo thread quite recently and immediately recognised it, and more importantly that I'd experienced it since childhood- ie not drunk.

I sound like a complete loon .

helpyourself that does sound like a nightmare!

got home with good intentions, i will be patient with dd, will not overreact - and here i am, hiding in my bedroom.

alias what does she do that winds you up? DD, with whom I was stranded for an extra 5 nights chews gum, really noisily and looks, imho, shocking. However having snapped at her in the queue on the way into the US I looked around and noticed more than half the people around us were too. I made a conscious decision to let that one go. Can you decide what matters and what you can let go?

joey I think it is sign of being a GOOD parent that your growing child can rebel against you. At that age they like to push boundaries, it's part of how they grow up and grow confident, and learn. I think they push against their parents because that is where they feel most secure, trying out bad behaviour because there is a deep knowing that they WILL be loved. It was a tough time in our household - lots of door slamming - some of it from me (just to bust any myths that people had about the ever-calm venus )

WOW! help I used to get that as a child, often when I was dropping off to sleep - I had forgotten about it, but I can recall the feeling in an instant (and it is a little like getting drunk). I used to find it quite comforting, that strange place between awake and asleep (once I'd got over the idea that it was a punishment for masturbating )

Joey I feel exactly the same way about my pre-teen DD - I could have written your post! In fact, I've been noticing that rows with her are one of my biggest 'triggers' I feel like I must be an awful Mum - and really miss how close we were a few years ago.

Thanks for asking green, my appointments were both good and shocking at the same time.

My visit to the Dr's yesterday was eye opening. One of my liver enzymes should be about 45 but is, in fact, 200!! (bloods were done on day 5 of being sober - on day 19 now). Nothing else was too alarming and she said, with abstinence, my liver should recover well/completely. She's given me more Campral (phew!) but also some high dose thiamine (vitamin B1) and some high dose vitamin B compound - I'm hoping they help increase my energy levels. I've got to go back for further blood tests in Jan and then back to her to see if my poor liver is feeling better. Having read some of your posts about your Doc's I appreciate I've been lucky with mine.

The Alcohol Services were great. The woman was practical, humorous and mostly helpful. Lots of chat about the whole subject. She said I have to find different coping strategies for the stress the DC bring (I'm a single parent of three - ages 6,9 and 11), but no real ideas of what - nor have I?! Still, going back before the end of the month to chat more. One of the things she said shocked me. Apparently several of her other 'Mums' had been 'dobbed' in to the social services by the children's teachers after they had smelled alcohol on the mum's breath! Bloody hell, that's scary!!

Had the ECG this morning and, luckily, for a change, the ol' ticker was playing up as it has been for the past 4/5 weeks. The info was that there was something 'unusual' about the reading so I have an appointment for Thursday to see what it is and what/if anything can be done.

Feeling pretty good just now. Not had too many cravings over the past week (although I am supported in that by the Campral) and I'm not thinking about alcohol much at all. (Not smug or complacent as I know the Wine Witch can strike at any time.) Added to that - I've lost 8lbs now!

venus [grins]!

Sending you strength, green, to get through today without the 'misery juice'!!

Good luck to everyone tonight. Thanks for being there. Be strong Babes. x

Purple that's great, the weight is falling off you now - I'll hold that thought! I am in awe of single parents. I have only one child and a husband and I find parenting hard - I salute you ladies!

Blimey, you learn something new everyday on this thread! AIWS sounds both intriguing and disturbing. It makes me wonder if I had something similar as a child; basically I'd be lying in bed and then almost imperceptibly the walls would start to oscillate and appear to be moving in on me. I knew it wasn't going to stop and I had to get out of the room and find my mother. It happened several times and I definitely wasn't dreaming.

Dippy don't worry about the minute amount of alcohol in toiletries etc. Also just to say although I started off on 200mg Antabuse daily (the recommended dose), I now break the tab in half and just have 100mg. It's enough of a deterrent for me and I'm sure I'd still get pretty sick if I drank on it. Nice to know you're around Help - you sound very content. I'll remember to try and ground myself next time a craving strikes. I haven't had any today and once 5pm has been and gone I know I'm safe.

I'm in heaven.... Belvoir ginger cordial, diluted with pressed apple juice (the cloudy type) and tonic....... try it.

started to explain, but it sounds so petty! it boils down to lack of respect, and that winds me up. the cbt seems to be helping ( me, not her) i guess its like sobriety, you have to keep practising and sometimes it feels like you're getting nowhere, but you keep going and it becomes a habit.

purple now i feel guilty, i have it easy really, compared to being a single parent with 3 kids

I feel I've overshared, it's all a bit woo, but interesting that many on this thread recognise it. I mentioned it as I felt it was a trigger; and because rather than going with it I was able to identify it and make it go away.

OK, alias- lack of respect. Does she talk to other people differently? Do you think she doesn't respect you, and how does this lack of respect show?

For instance, does she show it by shouting at you, or by talking to you as if you were peers. I tolerate the latter, but not the former; ie let it wash over me if I get a text speak text although it makes my eyes bleed

It may be that you have to let some of it go- viz my gum intolerance. interestingly she became a lot less smacky lipped and I noticed when I was stressing out (we were struggling to find a hotel post Hurricane Sandy) she quietly binned the gum and was 100% thoughtful and quiet around me.

If her lack of respect actions really are intolerable but you feel she does respect you can you, not in the heat, of the moment explain how when she does x, how it makes you feel, ie 'Granny would have been very angry if I left dirty clothes on the floor when I was your age and when you do it, it makes me feel you don't respect me'.

Joey Don't feel guilty - I don't think pre-teen girls are easy for anyone - ever - whatever their situation is!

This weekend we had a massive row because, despite what I said (to her and her Dad!), she conned talked her Dad into buying her some cheap earrings for her 10 week old pierced ears. She wore them at her Dad's for 2 days and even slept in them. Then, she comes home to me in tears because her ear is painful and she can't get one of her studs in any more. The upshot is that she's now going to have to wait for between 6 weeks and 6 months for the infection to clear before she has the ear pierced again! So, now, she's moaning and being all upset because she can't wear her earrings! Sheesh! She will not listen - she knows better at 11 than I do at 50 - apparently! She drives me up the wall! No wonder I needed something to blur the edges. I just don't know what to turn to now that I can't turn to alcohol?

Green The huge difference is that when I was drinking, I craved carbohydrates the next morning - and indulged! Would often buy myself a fresh un-cut loaf and have at least half the loaf, sliced, with butter! I didn't get hangovers but did get a sore stomach lining and convinced myself that something solid would help. Sigh! Stay well. x

Pre-teen girls are hideous things. The 11_13 years were worse than the subsequent ones I think,although they could be lively too. Now the girls are 19 and 21 ( I was a child bride) they have turned back into humans. just DS to survive - he is nearly 11. Dreading it!

purple i can totally identify with that situation! no doubt she will moan about it for months too!

venus i honestly cant put my finger on it, mostly its just ignoring me or defiant or lies (but we cant prove it cause she always has an answer)

Gosh makes a three year old sound easy and glad I had a boy - I understand girls always kick back against their mums - must be really hard :( but one day my boy will off and marry some lady and not have a bye or leave for his mum and you ladies will be off on shopping trips with grown up daughters, grand kids in tow - I know a long way into the future but they will come back to you - something to hold onto maybe?..... Well i'm in bed, full of cold and the wine witch is downstairs and just won't leave me alone so I've come up here and shut the door!

Ma hideous things !

Yes, Joey, she will and - somehow - it will end up being my fault! I know the 'lies' thing too - so disappointing.

purple said: i just don't know what to turn to now that I can't turn to alcohol.

I feel the same. not finding fulfillment in family, hobbies or work! Dont know if we need to find some fascinating interests, or just accept that actually life is really boring, get used to it.

Hello.

Joey I'm sorry I didn't reply to you way upthread. It's all been a bit hectic.

Greyhound thanks for thinking of me and I'm so so sorry to hear about your dog.

Gugg I'm not sure how much of a success my giving up white wine for October was, tbh. I largely managed it, although it started to slip at the end of the month. I definitely drank more red than I would otherwise have done, but not as much extra as I would have consumed of white, iyswim. I savour the red more, whereas the chilled wine just slips down too easily.

Overall I've been drinking too much again - it's just crept steadily up again and I'm finding it harder to have two alcohol free days per week. Have had some family dramas to deal with and been feeling a bit low. I increased my AD dose, which I usually do in the autumn, and have felt much better this last week.

Joey I feel your pain with DD issues. Mine is just back from a fortnight with my parents and she's come back with a really shitty attitude. I know she finds transitions difficult, but I just won't tolerate being spoken to rudely and snappily - it really pisses me off. I can't imagine ever having spoken to my mother the way DD speaks to me sometimes, yet I'm stricter with her than my mum was with me, I think. I know what you mean about the disrespect, it's the tone of voice and the looks that press my buttons.

I feel like DD is constantly testing the boundaries and pushing against every limit she can find. Also she wants to eat crap constantly (which I won't allow, so we clash frequently), and she's put on loads of weight at my mum's. I'm a bit concerned she might be hitting puberty. She's been very tearful and snappy lately and had a massive growth spurt recently. She towers over other kids her age - she's not ten yet but could easily pass for twelve.

Lovely to hear your news Golden, hope the family issues sort themselves out. Re: drinking, that's the problem I've always had when I think I can control it. After a while it just starts creeping up again until I'm back to square one. Do you think you'll be able to cut back down? And my DD will soon be taller than me so don't worry - they just seem bigger these days and that goes for the feet as well!

Had an almighty row with DD last night with door slamming by both of us. It was all about her attitude and the way she was talking to me. She was all sweetness and light by the time she had to go to bed but it makes me feel as if I'm walking on eggshells. Does anyone else have a problem with getting them to wear a coat in the increasingly cold weather? She maintains she's warm enough but I know it's all about the image. Coat = uncool :(

No cravings yesterday but too much coffee, thinks it's upping my anxiety levels so will try not to overdo it today. Have a good morning everyone.

That was me by the way - I name-changed for another thread and forgot to change it back!