The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

[Mouseface]

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

And there it goes, The Last Straw. And what is this huge event that has reduced me to copious tears? DS2 has just accidentally pulled the towel hooks off the bathroom door. Big holes in the door, nowhere to put the towels = end of the world. I feel such a stupid moo. Now have to go and find said child to reassure him that I'm not cross with him and Mummy was crying 'cos she had a headache (that old chestnut!). Now he's crying too. Bad Mum. Give up.

Oh purple that last straw is a shit isn't it? If it helps I have a picture over the hole in our bathroom door and towels just get draped over bath or radiator.
Buddhists don't worry - won't kill the wee mousie, jut want to catch and release. However had it been a fecking great spider it would be mush by now! Never had any of our cats bring a live mouse in before,and it was completely uninjured and cheery. Wonder if it is a message from our mouse

Joey I'd completely forgotten about Mr Sex Toy Man :) I know that feeling Purple, getting closer and closer to a date wondering if you're actually going to make it. As for sex, it's now almost two years since I had a shag and I have no idea whether my bits actually still work (sorry TMI).

Funny, I was going to put some hooks in the bathroom door this evening, perhaps I won't bother now....You ok Leucan, going swimming again? Feel f...ing fantastic this morning, that's one good thing about hangovers, life sure is marvellous when you don't have one.

Hi guys, I posted yesterday I would not be drinking wine last night and I failed. Found myself making excuses to go to the shop during the familiar chimes of emmerdale! I felt so positive yesterday and I feel mildly hungover but mostly gutted at my failure, I need some help guys, I need to beat this, its taking over my life, thinking all day about not having wine, then fretting all night cos I am, Ive wasted far too much time giving a ridiculous bottle of wine this much power. Can anyone gives me any tips to turn thus around, I'm so depressed and I'm hating myself right now.

oh purple big hugs, sometimes it does feel like the world's against you doesn't it... are you staying in while the heating is off? or heading to somewhere warm and nice to do some research on the internet read trashy magazines?

jane I had a few false starts myself, most of us did/do. So don't worry about it. You are changing habits and that takes time. First you will start to recognise some of your triggers - there you go, Emmerdale music - who knew? When you are more aware of them, you can anticipate them and have some strategies in place to combat them.

For example, make sure you're not hungry, perhaps eat a little earlier in the evening or have a snack. I like to make a cold drink of lime and soda with plenty of ice and a slice of lemon. It makes that satisfying little 'clink', has a bit of fizz and is not too sweet. I drank gallons of that when I first stated cutting down. Now I don't need it, but I still like it.

You will find something that works for you, just keep hanging around with us and trying things out. It's a big learning curve and as long as you don't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results, you'll get there x

Purple I've got six paintings on my living room wall and they are all in strange, non-symmetrical places because they are covering holes made by previous owner taking down shelving

Don't expect too much from yourself, you don't have to be perfect. And don't worry if your dcs see you upset, sad, angry, whatever. These are all normal emotions, everyone has them and they need to know that too. Just show them how to deal with the emotions like having a good cry, then feeling a bit better, that sort of thing. Have a (((hug))). You are probably still under the weather and tired from yesterday.

Morning, All.

Purple, don't be so rough on yourself. If you're already feeling rubbish you want to say NICE things to yourself, not nasty ones. Buy an even bigger set of towel hooks that will cover the holes, and make them shiny and poncetastic. Tell the tiny thing he can 'help' you put up the new shiny things so every time he goes in there he can think 'I did that!'.

Soba, I have a touch of the Purples. If only I could go back to bed. I feel miserable, have a cracking headache (despite no booze!), feel angry and tearful at once, shaky, panicky and revolted at myself. HOWEVER. What I'm going to do, regardless of all that, is 'phone the GP to get some antibiotics since I'm clearly not getting well. Apply for some jobs. Make a cup of coffee. NOT have a fag.

Baby, I'm sorry . On the plus side (she said, desperately fishing about), this isn't just your normal 'oh, bugger' reaction to giving in is it? This is a really, really large 'BUGGER', which means you're getting much more serious about stopping, which means you're getting much closer to doing it. It may not have happened yesterday, but you're definitely moving.

Good for you Leucan . What is it now, Day 5? You are doing so well. I gave up smoking about 10 years ago and it's so worth it. The sooner your brain accepts it's over, the sooner the cravings will disappear forever.

You could be feeling crap because all the toxins are leaving your body and you're not numbing it with alcohol or drugs. We call this 'seeing the hangover through to the end'. It could last up to a week but after that you should start to feel much better. Best to get the antibiotics as well though and maybe take a vitamin supplement, eat well, get as much rest as you can and just take it one day at a time.

Keep it up, you are dong brilliantly!!

hi again,purple you sound fed up, why not wrap up warm and head off to a cozy wee coffee shop and treat yourself to a big frothy coffee and a sticky bun and read a trashy magazine. It will fill some time and cheer you up. fairenuff thank you for your reassurance, how long since you stopped? And leucan your right I'm getting increasingly weary of this situation so that must suggest I'm progressing nearer a solution. I'm going to take dog and baby for a big walk and pretend to the world I am a normal, non wine dependant mother, do any of you look at the other mums and all seem so normal,organised and efficient and my teenage daughter reminds me of this daily!!!!!

Hangovers last for a week!?

Last year I read the Alan Carr book on stopping smoking, and it did seem a little like magic. I just stopped - no cravings, no worrying, I just wasn't a smoker anymore. Until I had a terrible argument with my exP and flounced really childishly - you know, 'I'm so hurt and angry I'll do what I WANT', and bought some tobacco and forced myself to smoke it. That was that, until now, but I think some of the Carr theories have stuck in my brain somewhere because although I have cravings they're not really angsty ones, just me noticing I really want a cigarette and telling myself I can't, and that's that. And so it is. .

OR.

I'm so fecking unwell that actually I can't face it because I can't breathe so well as it is with this bloody chest infection. Less exerting my fabulous willpower, more systemic collapse. (I have two ear infections as well ). Perhaps once I'm feeling healthy none of this will seem like a big deal and I'll tell myself it's fine to have the odd whatever, but I'm not going to worry about that now. So what if being ill is giving me a leg up. I shall just trust that this unfair head start will dent my bad habits enough to keep going when I feel better.

jane I joined the bus about 18 months ago and it took me about 6 months to get to where I am now. I am one of those 'contolled' drinkers who ride the roofrack. I drink about once every couple of weeks and then it's only one or two glasses. I don't get drunk, I don't get hangovers. I don't like either of those.

I have learned that the less I drink, the more I like it. Opening a bottle doesn't take over my life anymore than opening a bag a crisps.

If I'm out socialising I might drink a bit more over a long evening but I'll have lots of non-alcoholic drinks inbetween. Usually just water if I'm dancing because I get thirsty.

I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to drink like this because at first I always wanted more after that initial glass. But I worked on some strategies to break the habits and now I'm fine.

Although it's been a long time, my dcs still think I drink a lot . To them, one glass is the same as one bottle. It's still 'Mum's drinking wine'. I'm hoping that, over time and as they grow older, they will forget the old ways and see that I'm sensible now.

Good grief, sensible? It's true, I'm one of those sad lightweights that I used to laugh at

Ah well, that's fine by me

Leucan I read the Alan Carr book too and stopped smoking overnight. I applied the same theory to the alcohol. I imagined it as a whingeing toddler going on and on at me to let them play with sharp knives. Ain't gonna happen. No way. You can cry and whine and stomp as much as you like but you aren't having it and that's that!! Mad I know, but it helped beat the cravings

Feeling slightly more normal this morning, managed to get a decent nights sleep (all hail the valium) still knackered - it'll take a few days to catch up I guess, but at least I don't feel so panicky.

So I now have the strength to write something thats been on my mind for a couple of weeks (but I didn't have the energy to write anything except I wanna sleeeeep!)

Its DHs work Talent Show tomorrow night! And the drinking-or-not has been in my mind for weeks. First, he's only been there a few months, I don't know anyone and of course thats a bit of a worry. But - we were discussing this on the board recently - what it would be like to meet new people and they ONLY know you as who you are NOW ie. not the drunken lush you were last year. The last thing I want is for colleagues at his work to be gossiping on Monday 'hey, you know that new guy in accounts? well his wife got so pissed on Saturday that she accused the judges of corruption and punched one of the other contestants...'

Second. Talent Show!! And naturally I'm nervous - DD has an amazing voice, although I think she'll be up against some stiff competition. I'm a bit pissed off because DH and DD have decided on a different song than the one I wanted her to do, and although its beautiful it just doesn't have The Edge.

But seriously who is the one entitled to be nervous - DD. And would i suggest to my 10-year-old that she have a drink to steady the nerves?! of course not... so why the hell should I think its okay for ME to have one...???

Sorry its such a long post, its been on my mind for a while, but I was too busy losing my marbles recently, and I've only just found them again.

Hello babes
Just checking in. Babyjane, exactly as Leucan says, you have still moved forward from how it was.
Faire - thank you for an excellent post yesterday (?) about not what we are Laing but what we are gaining, I found it extremely helpful at a wobbly moment yesterday, and again today as I face a dinner party tonight.
But I am feeling good, day 6 now without a drink, and am planning to drive to the dinner party this evening - and will have one drink.
Another thing someone said that I thought was very helpful was remember that what I/we crave is not one lovely glass of wine, but was the whole bottle and getting drunk - all the stuff that I KNOW ultimately makes me feel crap. So I sort of feel if I can only have one glass tonight I could give or take it really. But I feel have one glass and driving feels more of a realistic long term strategy for me....though maybe I am just kidding myself/justifying that one glass??
Anyway, as time goes on I am feeling better and better about myself and the fug I feel I have been living in since becoming increasingly aware of and accepting of my alcohol problem is just very very slightly beginning to lift.
I also gave up smoking using Allen Carr (a few relapses back in the early days but it is still the way I think about it, ie what I have gained and not what I have lost), and quite recently I bought his Easy way to Control Alcohol. If you liked him for stopping smoking probably worth getting that too - same approach and quite helpful I think (though not yet read it all).
Happy days to you all!

Faire I'm intrigued by this: I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to drink like this because at first I always wanted more after that initial glass. But I worked on some strategies to break the habits and now I'm fine. Can you tell me a bit about the strategies? For me controlled drinking is like the holy grail and I'm in awe of anyone who can achieve it.

Joey, great that you slept well. Could you just have a couple tomorrow night or is it all or nothing?

Afternoon, tis me, mouse

WE ARE HOME!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you all so very much for your kind words, I will read back later when I get chance. And of course lovely Ma, the pressure is off you to do the new thread!

Nemo is fine, totally fine. Sore, grumpy but he is HERE and that my lovely friends is all that matters to me. I will post an update later on, have a read back and catch up to see how you've all been but I've missed you!

I think the vibes through the ether have certainly helped me to stop drinking myself through this tough spell...... not a drop. And yes, there would have been opportunity as there are shops near to the hospital.

Adrenaline, I think that and you guys were all I needed, plus the occasional hug from DH xx

soma not sure what I'm going to do, am actually still so tired I feel unable to think too far ahead...!

Maybe I will give myself a target eg. not have a drink till after DDs act is over so that I don't get all emotional and wind her up.

Hurrah! Welcome home Nemo!!!
Hope everyone's weekends are great.

Mouse, that is very good news. I hope whatever it was has alleviated whatever it was - that sounds a bit pants but I don't want to sound, or be, nosy

Alias, would it help to think of it as work? I know it's meant to be fun , but if you think of it as extended work hours for your DH in which you and your DD are going to be Representing Team DH, and you wouldn't drink during your own work team building sessions... maybe not, it was just a thought.

Something, I'm going to try and replace the word 'crisps' every time I ponder my drinking in the future. And if my thoughts go something like 'If I get to the party and there are crisps I'll try to only have three, it's probably better if I don't have any, but I'll try and stick to three, I really hope I don't have more, but I'm fairly sure I have the willpower to just have three, I hope crisps and I are not going to have another of those incidents, etc etc'...

... then I can see how stupidly I'm thinking. Because really crisps aren't on my red-alert radar at all. If they're there - ooh, ta! - if they're not, I wouldn't have noticed. Now that is very different to the oh-so-casual conversation I think I'm having with myself about alcohol, as shown above. I'd be inclined to stay very very suspicious of something you need to debate with yourself about, and stay clear entirely.

But then I haven't done so well, so I wouldn't listen to me .

OK, upsides and downsides so far today:

Up - have done most of what I said I would, minus the GP. Climbed four storeys to the top of the car park and found I was only breathing a little deeper than normal, instead of my usual desperate fish gasp for air all the way across to the car.

Down - That car park STINKS! It's AWFUL. I hadn't noticed before - it's raining here but I may have to go and lie facedown in the lawn to flood myself with a nicer smell. Also - I have been told how awful I look, by a man who wouldn't normally notice if you smashed a railway sleeper into his face. [sulks]

I am sick of myself today.

leucan a man mtold you how awful you look?! wtf

maybe someone has already smashed a railway sleeper in his face for saying stupid things?

Hi again, I have been glued to my phone these last few days following the witty repartee you all have, I feel part of a secret club and no longer feeling like bad person because of my obsession with the vino bianco, you guys make me realise it may not be an ideal situation but you still find humour in our misery!! leucan I totally agree with your comment if you have to deliberate for too long about whether to drink or not then it's fair to say you probably shouldn't. I know that if i spent as much time doing housework as I do deliberating about wine, it would be spotless!!! leucan and alias your comments have caused me to laugh out loud and make me look like a crazy lady cos I'm walking round the supermarket on my own!!! Keep it comin x

I

Ok, then Baby, here's an anecdote from my heavy drinking days in which I wasn't actually drinking... (this may out me, but I'm a little past worrying about that!).

Some many moons ago I went on a hen party to somewhere in the South of France (I do remember, btw, just not saying). I was the only single one, plus the bride-to-be, two just engaged, and some serious-commitments making up the rest. One night we went out for a meal in the nearest town, with me as designated driver, squashing the other five into just one car. On the next table were the Norwegian Olympic ski-ing and (the other one where you shoot and do something else as well) teams who were training down there for a month, I think. My girls were a stunning lot, it's true (I was a bit older and a lot more battered), so soon the bottles of wine came over from these vikings and we ended up sharing tables and more bottles and more bottles and more bottles... until the evening ended and these boys REALLY wanted the girls to, ahem, accompany them home.

Bossy old hag face here put her foot down. It took time, but I got everyone into the car eventually, and had to drive 12kms home, followed by this Norwegian Olympic skiing team swerving behind us, with the back seat wailing 'I WANT OLYMPIC SEX! STOP THE CAR I WANT OLYMPIC SEX!!! OLYMPIC SEX NOW!'.

It was about a year before I stopped receiving sad little emails saying "Olympic sex, sigh. ".

I want Olympic sex!