soma from where I'm looking I see someone who has made huge steps in the last months - accepting that there is a problem, finding some ways (antabuse) that really do help you to keep off it, much greater understanding of what is going on for you. And of course weeks and weeks and weeks of living without a drink which has to have been good for your body. If you imagine what you'd have drunk otherwise over that period and put all the bottles lined up in your kitchen - then that's the money you've saved, that's the harm you've avoided, that's the mental anguish you've prevented (for you and your family).
So what I wonder is why do you feel the need to stop the antabuse? and this isn't the first time. Is it because you think that you should be able to beat this thing on your own? Is it because after a few months you feel that you really want to have a drink and you come off antabuse so that you can do that?
If you think you need to beat this on your own, then why? MIFLAW often says that willpower alone is as useless against alcoholism as it is against diarrhea. And with equally messy (if different) results. If you had any other kind of illness, mental health problem, phobia, compulsion etc would you refuse medication for that? Maybe you don't like the idea of taking medication every day - well many people don't but we still take the pill to control fertility. If you were menopausal you might take HRT, if you were a diabetic you'd take insulin. There is no shame in taking medication for anything. And if you look on here NONE of us, not a single one of us, does this on our own. We use different approaches to cope, and if antabuse works for you then stick with it.
On the other hand if, every so often, you get to the stage where you feel a compulsion to drink - so strong that you deliberately stop your medication - then the only question is: What next? and by that I mean what are you going to do today, tomorrow, the next day? You could stick with the current self-destructive phase for a bit longer (knowing that you are likely to drink, and knowing the potential consequences) or you could accept what has happened (you make a decision to stop antabuse, you [at some point yesterday] made a decision to drink, you found out that the results were the same as last time), and so you start taking your antabuse again. Now why is that so difficult?
In the last 6 months you've had 2 (relatively minor) binges. So what? Just don't keep on going and make it into a major binge. Even if that pattern were to continue for the whole of the rest of your life, would that be so bad? Much, much better than drinking continuously for all of your life (with the inevitable consequences for your health, and your relationships).
Of course I'm not encouraging you, or anyone else to drink, but please stand back and see it for what it is. Drinking yesterday does not signal the end of everything. You can choose to go back on antabuse, and thanks to that medication, you have the ability to stay alcohol free and alcohol untroubled for another long, long period.
Come on soma you CAN do it.