Said he won't marry me

[riamay2011]

Last night my partner had a few to drink and as they always say the truth comes out after a few.
You may remember me from last week how he said the 5k that my dad was giving us wasn't enough for our wedding...
Anyway, we got talking and he said he doesn't want to marry me and the fact that he is still married and not even thought about getting divorced is not a big deal as it is just a piece of paper despite me having his 2 babies!
He also said he wasn't prepared to marry me until I have made him happy and he is satisfied
I am very upset and made me re think our whole relationship.
Is it worth it? What would u girls say?

Why do you think you can't say these things OP? Seriously - what's the worst that could happen? Really, nothing you've posted would make me believe you would be worse off in any way without this utter cocklodger.

The thing is I really do like his mum she is very sweet an naive I would want to disrespect her in her house

Scared to leave so live with someone who doesn't give a shit

or

be frightened for a while but then be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Take the 5k your dad has given you and phone Women's Aid. You have the deposit for a flat/fresh start right there. WA will HELP you with the practical things you need to deal with. There will be plenty of advice on here. He sounds like a complete CUNT. You and your children will be so much better off away from him. I know it is scary but there will be people to hold your hand along the way. Whereabouts are you?

This is so bad the thought crossed my mind- is this for real or a spoof? I'm sorry if that sounds callous and I'll assume it's for real. It is hard to envisage how a man could treat a woman worse short of serious domestic violence/ murder.
His behaviour is appalling. He is exploiting you emotionally, financially, sexually and utterly wasting your time. He does not respect you (although ironically he is the despicable one not you). He has been brought up with toxic beliefs about "good, clean" women and the rest and I'm afraid in his Neanderthal mind you're in the second category. Luckily you are young and can make yourself a life with a DIFFERENT man who will be worth the effort.Get out of this abusive relationship. I would also strongly advise counselling . It sounds like a cliche but in my view it's necessary for you to understand why you consented to be tied to a man who treated you so badly. So that you don't repeat the same mistake in future relationships. I'm currently undergoing counselling (for a different, but very stressful situation) and while it took me a good 8 sessions to be convinced of its worth, I am finding it very useful.
Good luck

And you fell for this fine example of a 'man' and had 2 of his babies although he was married because ....? Need to examine why you have such low standards at some point, but for now, just get out before he takes all that you have and are.

GET OUT NOW. What an utter wanker. He's lied to you and he seems obsessed with making sure the balance of finances is tipped his way.

So sorry, but you are WAAAAY better off without this idiot.

where is his wife? Is she from the Indian continent? Was it an arranged marriage, and how did it end? Where is she now? Do they have children?

Can't you feel a little bit sorry for her? You are allowing his bad behaviour, Ria, you are helping him hurt her as well as yourself!

And he is a total misogynist. You do realise that?

Hang on, lets be fair to the 'man'. he is a prick, but by not marrying the OP he is doing the nicest possible thing he can do. Honestly, OP, don't be upset he won't marry you be grateful. Although its very sad that this is possible the kindest thing he has ever done.

OP you need to look at a few things. Firstly leave him, as soon as. He is married and being honest that he has no intention of marrying you. you need to figure some things out. Leaving him won't solve all your issues. You need to work on you. I think you have self esteem issues that he is tapping into, making worse and playing on.

You dated a man that was still married (not getting divorced) for over a year then got pg.
You hate his wife (not sure why).
You were with this man over 2 years before the birth of your child forced (yes forced) him to tell his parents about you.
He calls you awful names, is awful to your father and is happy to see you in a financially shit situation and doesn't really give a shit about you or his kids.

This amongst other things show you need to some time to work on you. forget him completely.

And do not entangle yourself financially with him.

Good luck OP.