am I giving DH a rough time becuase of what he did or pregnancy hormones?

[borninnotts]

DH & I relocated three years ago leaving my friends and family. Business is doing well but I have been stabbed in the back by so called "new friends" so am looking to sell up and move back home. I went on DH's fb account & he was messaging a 21 cleaner that cleans at his place of work, mainly normal flirty stuff but one message he sent to her has stuck at the back of my throat - he said "do you like it rough then"??!! In response to a message from her. Well, I have flown off the handle big time as being 24 weeks pregnant am feeling very vunrable. He has previously messaged/met girls off of a dating site that we met on but I thought we got past all that until we moved here where he become friendly with one of our clients (a girl) and she nearly ruined our relationship by playing us off against each other (he fell for it, I didn't) + told everyone else they were sleeping together (don't believe this for a second). So, my problem is he shouldn't be messaging other girls unless they are mutual friends but he doesn't see what he did as an issue. We are not having sex atm as we have wanted this baby for 10 years and he thinks he is going to hurt her. So am I being a hormonal cowbag?

He will still have a DD regardless he just may not see her every day because he's a slimy creep who asks young women inappropriate things under the guise of flirting. Flirting is a bit of innuendo and titillation not asking gross questions about sexual preferences.

Like cogito says, I think you want to give it another go big sigh but from what you've said so far, you don't seem to have the esteem or guts to stand up to him and lay down ground rules. You seem to blindly accept what he says is acceptable when deep down you know it isn't, otherwise you wouldn't be posting here.

agreed you know he is full of shit or you wouldn't be here, it is hard to here people slagging off someone you love especially when you can say oh but you dont know him he does this or that or whatever. it is natural for the op to get a bit defensive (or not ) of her partner. however we can only go on the stark true of what you write and what you are righting does not put him in a good light at all, even when you are trying to. great he is really excited about the baby but that should not negate all the emotions you have going on, hormones do not give you feeling the can magnify the ones you have. so if you are feeling like shit chances are its because the things he is doing are making you feel like shit. trust your gut here. if you want to stay then be a woman and stand up for yourself and say you are making me feel crappy and undervalued when you do this and say why. dont let him turn it in to no big deal or your over reaction and if he does they he doesn't really care about you very much because someone who loves you care when they hurt you even if they dont agree why.

Why is it his only chance of having a daughter?

This man does not love and respect you as he should.

A grown up really shouldn't need telling that they shouldn't be flirting/sending messages with someone other than their partner .

thanks for all the advice, dh has had fertility problems and i made my piece with not having more children and chose him instead. dh wasn't keen on moving back and told me im never happy as bought business for me but things changed when i got pregnant. told dh i need my family/friends network and his reply was i don't have many friends and my mum doesn't care much about me as we've had a rocky relationship in the past. thinking about it, he is a tool!!!!