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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have you ever asked anyone out?

99 replies

ParsleyTheLioness · 08/10/2012 20:43

I am told that women do this nowadays! Don't know if I would get over the rejection if the answer was no. Am I just being sexist? Or just old...

OP posts:
slug · 10/10/2012 16:36

Yes. He has been Mr Slug for 11 years now.

ParsleyTheLioness · 10/10/2012 22:04

These stories are really lovely though!

OP posts:
sashh · 11/10/2012 09:41

I have asked out (in my younger days), and on one occasion I grabbed a guy's pony tail as he was trying to leave with his friends, asked him where he thought he was going and .......... well acording to the friend I was with, she was talking to me, turned to get her drink and by the time she turned back we were playing tonsil hocky.

rach6122 · 11/10/2012 10:50

yes, my now dh :) x

Tamoo · 11/10/2012 10:55

I've only asked a guy out once in my entire life and he said no. I genuinely thought he'd spent weeks giving me the eye, so I dropped a letter into his work with my phone number etc. He rang and said he was already in a relationship. I couldn't hang up quick enough and would never do it again.

Good luck OP, by the way! Wink

ParsleyTheLioness · 11/10/2012 20:35

Of course, he might say No! But logic says that The Menz have risked this for many years...

OP posts:
Couragedoesntroar · 11/10/2012 21:29

Life is short. The way I see it is, if he's nice, the worst possible outcome is that you have given someone a delightful compliment. How often do any of us get given such a compliment? That is a rewarding thing to have offered. And just maybe he'll be single and interested...

I have male and female friends that I love dearly. We genders are not so different from each other in most ways.

ParsleyTheLioness · 11/10/2012 21:39

He is single Courage he made a point of telling me...

OP posts:
Wigeon · 11/10/2012 21:43

I asked my now-DH out - we were both 20 at the time. The romantic occasion was while he ate a samosa whilst sitting on a churchyard wall by a road. I'm pretty sure he would never have actually asked me out - he's just a bit rubbish like that. But he likes to say that we are even because he proposed!

Got married 4 years after getting together and still married 9 years later.

Ask him out!!

Wigeon · 11/10/2012 21:44

Oh, I should have added that DH said "yes" to the asking out!!

FunnysInLaJardin · 11/10/2012 21:46

yes, DH 24 years ago. It seemed to work

Offred · 11/10/2012 21:46

I have never been asked out. I prefer to do the choosing. It hasn't always worked out well. Sometimes have done flirting and making moves and sometimes just completely coldly sent a message asking for a date. Have had abusive twunt ex and one straight up rejection (still my friend). Think rejection is character building! Nothing to be afraid of! Have also ended up with brilliant dh but that did involve a lot of chasing and convincing (not that he should like me but that I liked him).

ParsleyTheLioness · 11/10/2012 21:50

Might just do it...

OP posts:
Wigeon · 11/10/2012 21:52

Oooh, it's like a live birth thread!

You have to do it now, and then post his reply / replies!

TeaBrick · 11/10/2012 21:52

Yes I once screwed up my courage and phoned to ask someone out. He told me to call back in a couple of days and he would think about it Shock.
Needless to say I never did call back.

Offred · 11/10/2012 21:52

The way I see it is either someone's a twunt or they aren't and you only find that out after a while anyway. Someone who thinks you are desperate because you asked them out is a twunt and no loss so dump. It isn't hurtful if you are rejected it simply means one person doesn't fancy going out with you, it says nothing about your worth as a person and could be for a variety of reasons. I think if you fancy going out with someone you have very little to lose from asking them out and much to gain.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 11/10/2012 21:55

I've never asked anyone out but many moons ago I have asked men to dance. Never been refused either - I think they're so flattered that they don't have to do the asking.

I'm only in my 40's.

ParsleyTheLioness · 11/10/2012 21:58

wigeon live birth thread but without kittens! Offred yes, you are right of course. Might as well sort the Menz from the Boyz earlier on, rather than later. I'm not trying to keep you dangling, you lovely peeps, honest!

OP posts:
Offred · 11/10/2012 22:01

Don't do it just because MN says so. If you aren't ready to do it on your own it could hit you in your self-esteem. Remember each of us that has/does do it has come to it in our own ways and time!

Wigeon · 11/10/2012 22:03

Oh, Offred, you are such a killjoy although obviously that's very sensible advice and the OP should clearly listen to you rather than me

Flicktheswitch · 11/10/2012 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skyebluesapphire · 11/10/2012 22:18

I just offered a bloke to come round for coffee and a chat any time. He is a man I have known for years, but never that closely. He is also going through a bad divorce.

I like him but am not ready for a relationship. But extending the hand of friendship is a good start to me :-)

It will either happen or it won't but at least I asked..

Offred · 11/10/2012 22:41

WinkGrin wigeon!

ParsleyTheLioness · 12/10/2012 09:07

Developments...I have not texted Man, but in a wine fuelled optimistic mood I joined a dating site the other night. A paid one, cos I think you get a better class of the Menz, that are more likely to be serious. Everyone (almost) wants a photo, but the site won't let me upload, or the computer is playing up, and the Not much helpline hasn't got back to me yet. A man has started chatting to me, and he looks and seems ok (not that you ever know) and I have sent him a photo via email. I may never hear from him again!

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