Have you ever asked anyone out?

[ParsleyTheLioness]

I am told that women do this nowadays! Don't know if I would get over the rejection if the answer was no. Am I just being sexist? Or just old...

[allchangeplease]

Panon - I'm thinking of asking by text or e-mail, so at least there's no looking unconfident or him being flustered. I'm not going to see mine for ages so I have that excuse too. Nothing wrong with that, d'you think?

[PanonOlympus]

No, probably best if you think he could be a startled fawn type. Any 'being asked out' would be a nice boost! Be fairly casual in the wording, is the only thing I'd suggest. But do it.

[allchangeplease]

hatesponge , he probably had issues though as still single. I wonder if he could be gay as he was trying to be friends with you before that.

Yes, I think very few would be so brutal. Especially to new people! I'm pretty sure my guy is attracted to me, but he may say no for all sorts of reasons, e.g. due to age gap or having a GF (even though he acts as if he's single).

[allchangeplease]

thanks Panon, I feel more courage now .
All I wanted to do is suggest a coffee/chat, not spell out that I'm attracted (even though it'd be obvious) - is this casual enough?

[GockandJuice]

No! Could NEVER do it. Luckily I've never had to, I've always had plenty of attention from men (what woman doesn't i suppose) but no way, far too scared of rejection! I do feel sorry for men that they are usually expected to be the ones to do it though! Must be scary!

[akaemmafrost]

Yes I have. Never been turned down .

[hatesponge]

He's not gay, he does have major issues though. His ideal girlfriend would look like a WAG/girl from TOWIE but with a brain and a professional career. He is 37 this year and I predict will still be single and still living in the boxroom in his parents house in 10 years time. Although at the rate I'm going, I'll still be single then too!

allchange I'm sure you'll get a better outcome than me, at absolute worst it will be a polite refusal, and more likely a yes :)

[crackcrackcrak]

Yes many times. Shrug

[allchangeplease]

emmafrost, do you have a very good gut instinct though, i.e. sure that they wd be interested? or are you so stunning that they fall at your feet ?
I can't say that my instinct is that reliable.

[PanonOlympus]

Chat? CHAT?? You mean..actual face-to-face stuff?? Yes, but if he has any sense whatsoever and fancies you he'll come up with an event (play, cinema etc..) to impress you.
Good luck!

[allchangeplease]

thanks hatesponge, I hope so (a yes)..
Oh well, if he has sky high expectations then he's digging himself into a hole, or he could be scared of real relationships/closeness behind all this.

[allchangeplease]

thanks Panon. If it's a success I will report. we did chat away last time, but this was at his work place, so I mean a private chat .

[OhDearSpareHeadTwo]

I once asked a man out because I was so keen on him I was too impatient to wait for him to make the first move.

7 years, 1 house, 3 cars, 5 cats, 1 daughter and 1 marriage later I still can't get rid of him

[akaemmafrost]

A bit of both really . No, it's instinct. I would never ask if I didn't know a bit of background and there was the remotest chance of being turned down. I can sense whether they are receptive.

[OhDearSpareHeadTwo]

monster and anyone else who is still with them. Please tell me why they didn't ask you first!

He would have done but was playing it cool for a couple of days. I don't do "playing it cool" and was keen to get hold of him before any other female could beat me to it

[OhDearSpareHeadTwo]

And said asking out happened like this

"Hi, it's SpareHeadTwo, we met sitting on that mental health prisoner last night. Do you fancy going out for a beer some time ?"

Several hours later I got something like

"Sorry, been at comedy club and just got your text. What are you doing tomorrow night, meet you at the Greenhouse at 8pm"

And that, as they say, was that

[allchangeplease]

OhDear , yes why take your chances - and what a way to meet!

emmafrost, I knew you were a looker . I have no way to find out his background though (i.e. is there a GF), but I definitely sensed he was receptive. It's just ime feeling attraction doesn't always mean they want to act on it. Some just like an ego boost, distraction, not single, etc. But I'll give it a go.

[BertieBotts]

I've asked loads of people out! They've nearly always said yes

[BertieBotts]

I think I might have jumped DP also when we first started going out, even though he expressed an interest first, I at first said I wasn't interested. Then changed my mind.

[ParsleyTheLioness]

Thanks all, that's interesting. So, by text is the way to go. If I decide to do it. I think he is interested, a bit. Met him through normal life stuff, don't work with him. Sometimes IME blokes give off push me/pull you mixed messages. But at least it would sort that out early on!
Pan how would you say no if you didn't fancy her? Need to know this!

[KatieScarlett2833]

Yes, he was incredulous that someone like me would want to date him.

We went out for a few months

In the end, I agreed with him and dumped.

[Molehillmountain]

Yes. We've been married ten years this year

[Molehillmountain]

Why didn't they ask? He says he fancied me but was much more laid back about that stuff. We debate every so often if he would have got round to it eventually. I don't really care!

[ParsleyTheLioness]

Hmmmmm....two minds about this. I could ask him, but I don't want him to think I'm desperate, and mess me about. I have no judgement about whether this is likely to happen or not!

[Emandlu]

I went over and chatted up a guy in a nightclub that I liked once. We've been together 15 years now, married 13.