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Original poster

Am I too hard?

92 replies

springyhope · 03/10/2012 23:36

A lodger arrived today and, how to say this - she was difficult from the off. I need the money, she needed the room and I thought ah well, see how it goes (didn't expect it to last long). We bashed out payment terms and, as the intro had been short notice (both of us recommended to the other by a friend last night), she said she would go to the bank to get the money. Then she decided she would transfer it on the internet ("I don't want to go out now") - by now her stuff was in the room [

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 04/10/2012 09:41

Oh no! So it isn't Blush

Rather oddly its in relationships Grin

I agree with you that op's question was wrong. Neither party comes out of this smelling of roses and I hope they are both wiser in future

I still hope the lodger is ok

Original poster
springyhope · 04/10/2012 10:00

ffs - of course I expect differing opinions - read the blarsty thread. I don't like third person stuff, wherever I see it - usually when a poster is launching an attack on the OP. Bad form.

and of course I hope she's ok - read the blarsty thread. nightmare woman who is probably sodden somewhere, bleating that springy isn't running a charity. nightmare!

Lived and learnt!

Just another little nugget - she told me she might play her guitar in the night when the inspiration came; and was put out that I said it would wake others in the house. But if I get the inspiration, she started...

OP posts:
izzyizin · 04/10/2012 10:02

Bitter Experience leads me to believe that we need have no fear for the lodger, Bit, and that, given this is Relationships, our concern should be reserved for Springy who has had a narrow escape so nearly became the victim of an arch manipulator.

As The Bard has it, all's well that end's well.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/10/2012 10:07

Springy, you don't do yourself any favours with that tone, you really don't

Original poster
springyhope · 04/10/2012 10:15

'that tone' ??? Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
springyhope · 04/10/2012 10:18

I've just remember she said she had a relative in the city.

PHEW!!! that bloody woman, putting me through that shit!

excuse the tone though

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 04/10/2012 10:18

Yes, ffs Hmm And I have read the "blarsty" thread thanks

I disagreed with you. That's all. I don't need your rolly eyes and for fucks sakes.

You sound very hot headed

izzyizin · 04/10/2012 10:20

Sadly, I can't clone my chef but I can lend you my guitar tuner in the hope that it will improve Bit's tone, Springy Grin

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 04/10/2012 10:23

You went with your instincts. A normal lodger would have paid immediately. She was trying it on and it would have got worse. She is not your problem. You need the money.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 04/10/2012 10:24

You're well rid!

sugarice · 04/10/2012 10:29

You did the right thing OP, she'll be fine.

BegoniaBigtoes · 04/10/2012 10:31

God OP, can't believe you're getting a pasting. Sounds like a total nightmare. Yes, IMO you were hard, because you had to be. People like this home in on people who they think are a soft touch. I think what happened was that the penny dropped that you are not a soft touch and that's why she had second thoughts. They force you to either put up with them, or be hard to get rid of them. I'm not saying this from a landlord POV but I've met people like this socially.

When you said she was 41 I was like this Shock - from her behaviour she sounded more like 19.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/10/2012 10:32

Begonia, hardly a pasting. Just little old me Blush

BegoniaBigtoes · 04/10/2012 10:37

Oh Bit. Sorry I was nice to OP about the non-pasting!

Maybe she could live with you? :o

BitOutOfPractice · 04/10/2012 10:39

I don't think that arrangement would last as long as the one described here before one of us killed the other

Btw we are not allowed to speak about her in the 3rd person. House rules Grin

izzyizin · 04/10/2012 10:40

Women like her have a relative in every town, a date in every oasis, a port in every storm, and when they're between gigs, as it were, they use others to perfect their act.

Don't give her another thought, Springy.

geegee888 · 04/10/2012 11:06

an aforementioned married bloke chucked out by his wife, who expected to slip into my warm house and take up where he left off with his wife

Oh yes, there are a lot of those ones on the lookout. Out of 9 enquiries I had recently, 2 fell into this category. One of them told me he was "being chucked out by his girlfriend at the weekend". I knew I wasn't even going to let him view the room, and told him I got on better with housemates from a similar background and age to myself. This led to him informing me that I sounded younger than him, as he was 45, but as his girlfriend (the one chucking him out) was only 29, it could work!

Actually I am a bit gobsmacked at all these older men who are functionally homeless and think they can just move in with another woman, because you just know they would try it on with you! I actually got one of them by default, a friend's ex, and while he paid the rent, he did try it on (unsuccessfully, obviously) but oh my god, getting him to leave - I had to actually give him £200 to move out - money well spent!

lemonstartree · 04/10/2012 12:03

lucky escape. Not too hard AT ALL. she would NEVER have paid rent on time and ust been a gigantic pain in the butt. Well done on getting rid so quickly

carlywurly · 04/10/2012 13:14

She sounds a nightmare, you are well rid imo. Sounds like she was after a freebie for whatever reason.

I'm notoriously soft, but wouldn't have wanted her in my home for any longer than necessary, and I think you were firm but not unduly harsh. A friend in need would be completely different, but you didn't know her nor owe her anything, and she sounded to be rude from the off.

LemonDrizzled · 04/10/2012 13:31

Not too hard at all. The fact you agonised about her and posted here says that. But I agree with those that say be more professional.
Is your need for cash making you liable to cut corners a bit? Better to take it steady and find a good lodger.

And the angsty 41 year old with the guitar? She must have an interesting back story leading to her pitching up on your doorstep but fortunately she is not your problem.

Next!

Original poster
springyhope · 04/10/2012 18:15

Is your need for cash making you liable to cut corners a bit?

that'll be the one

That, and foreign students just arrive, I do the drill - explain everything - and it's short and sharp, done and dusted: we both know why we're there and the score. Different with a lodger - the 'drill' isn't the same - but they are neverthless not housemates, but lodgers. They can be housemates if they take equal responsibility with me if eg the toilet is broken but, if not, they are lodgers.

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 04/10/2012 18:56

Hmm... sub-letting rules and tax fraud springs to mind - wouldn't there be contracts otherwise. Live by the sword ?

geegee888 · 04/10/2012 19:06

*Hmm... sub-letting rules and tax fraud springs to mind - wouldn't there be contracts otherwise. Live by the sword

I think someone's imagination is running away with them a little.

How dare you rent a room in your house OP! Be more professional about it!

AndMiffyWentToSleep · 04/10/2012 19:11

I think you had a lucky escape and weren't too harsh. What would've happened if you'd accepted her non-payment? She'd still be staying with you now, for free, and at your inconvenience. Well done for insisting on payment and not being soft!

Opentooffers · 04/10/2012 19:23

geegee a strangely aggressive way to express it, but I think the point is if one is not doing a legal let, then not much room to complain when it goes 'tits up'.

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