I think that dad's blog is cruel

[CuriousMama]

The one who said his firstborn is his favourite.

He needs a brain rinse. His second born will feel crap when he's old enough to find out. Even if the dad protests that he was stupid it won't turn the clock back.

We all worry after our first, that consecutive dcs won't be loved as much. But we do love them just as much, sometimes differently. We may not always like some of dcs behaviour but they're our dcs and we stick by them. Even if someone did favour one to blog about it is ridiculous.

I despair at society today. And the internet is blamed for a lot of silly adults sharing their pathetic thoughts. But is it? They choose to do this. I've been guilty of writing crap on here but I'd never say something so damaging about my own dcs. He could've come on mums/dadsnet or similar and done it secretly?

but at the same time for you Eyes. How does it make you feel now?

And some parents shower one sibling with all the attention, love, praise, possessions.

And treat the other like they are useless and worthless. And then tell them they are crazy for imagining that there they are being treated unfairly.

I doubt there are that many that would want to make that up.

I was my mum's favourite. My older sister was the 'difficult' one, the 'moody one' etc etc. I haven't got words to say how awful it was My sister was full of anger, unsurprisingly. I had to witness their awful rows and mum screaming and shouting. I was always the 'good' girl, I had to be, there was no way I wanted to unleash mum onto me. My sister was far more brave.

This blog father sounds pretty awful. Can't see it ending well, I'm thinking of that Guardian column where the journalist mother wrote anonymously about her children.

Hellonheels how's your sister now?

This is one of the reasons im sticking with one child. Just in case i did prefer one over the other. It's not something i would ever want to put a child through so i take measures to ensure it doesn't.

This to me though is similar to the mothers who admit to loving their husband more than their children. I cannot comprehend that.

CuriousMama Made me feel like dirt until I figured it out and learned to live with it

It also makes me realise that I do not want to do that to my children and I have sought therapy for how to avoid those issues - so quite proactive

It is very normal for a parent to prefer one child over another, if that child has an easier personality. It is a very cruel thoughtless parent who actually admits it, and worse writes it down for the children to find. He isn't the kind of father I would want for my kids.

Me neither puds. I remember watching Oprah years ago that had a mother on who said if her dh and dcs were drowning she'd save dh because she can have more dcs but only has one dh! I saw her say it on tv. It still sticks with me, possibly because I was pg with ds1 at the time so hormonal anyway.

Even if you did would you plaster it all over the internet for them to read one day?What a dickhead.

I'm glad you've learned to live with it Eyes and aren't that sort of parent x

Now I'm really remembering that mother and her favouring the dh. Will be weeping as I walk my very patient dog. Luckily we walk on a deserted beach. I have PMS can you tell?

Was the Guardian one Julie Myerson?
She was awful.

I have three DC and they're all completely different,and i love them equally if differently.Each have their own talents and interests,some of which are similar to mine and some are wildly different,doesn't mean i prefer the one's who are similar,nothing wrong with a bit of diversity to make family life more interesting.

Even if i did have a favourite i would never say it out loud,the 'Dad' says to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you don't have a favourite.......why would you want to do that.

I think that the whole notion of a 'favourite' is a bit odd, anyway. I mean, I don't look around my FRIENDS giving them marks out of ten and thinking who I prefer, so why anyone would do that with their children is anyone's guess.

Of course it is perfectly possible to have a child who grows up to be a genuinely unpleasant psycho (someone has to have those children and it won't always be for an obvious reason) but I doubt that most of the parents of THOSE children waste time thinking about 'favourites'.

It just goes to show that some people just are pretty unfathomable in their behaviour.

I don't think I would ever put it somewhere where my children could ever find it, but my son is certainly easier to like than my daughter is, I love them both with every breath in my body, and I wouldn't say I have favourites, but their personalities make them different kinds of people and I guess me and my daughter clash and it's hard to not find her a difficult person to be around right now.

Wow. For someone who is so sniffy about his kids, he sure gets a lot of MILEAGE out of them.

Curiousmama my sister is doing very well, she and I both live a very long way from home now. She has a lovely family and is a good mum She has as much contact as she can tolerate with our mum; they speak infrequently.

Yes, Julie Myerson. That column was just awful, it was one of the reasons I stopped buying the Saturday Guardian. I only recently realised it was actually written about a real family when I happened upon the story of the family fallout.

It's on babble, the same place as the woman who intends to be the next Michelle Duggar wrote it wouldn't be so bad if her duaghter died, just as long as it wasn't her son.

The bloggers there seem to sometimes sink to real depths to stand out and get attention.

DD2 (11) knows her dad finds DD1 easier to get on with and it makes her sad.

It shouldn't happen, but it does. Putting it a clearly identifiable blog for posterity is clearly crass beyond belief.

Have 3dc. Had PND with dc2, worried sick I was too detached from her. 5years on I wonder what that was all about and I'd die for all of them but love them in different ways

My mother has always preferred my brother and made no bones about it. Her reason is that mothers are programmed to be closer to their sons and have a stronger bond, and in any case I'm hard to get on with and have never been cuddly and affectionate. [hmmm] I worked out years later that she set up the classic Golden Child/Scapegoat dynamic.

As a result I've chosen to have one child. I will not risk replicating her behaviour.

What an asshole.

His boys are 5 and 2, and he says he prefers the older one because he can go fishing with him. Well duh, the 2 year old is not old enough yet.

DM has a favourite, not me. Siblings and I are quite amused by it, as it's obvious, although denied.

I enjoy spending time with one (adult) child more than the other (adult) child, but that doesn't mean that one's favourite. I also like one better than the other, but that doesn't mean favourite, either.
I've put myself at physical hazard for both of them, and would do so again without a second thought.

Hellonheels that's good to hear

One of the commenters below was spot on. He's a product of the Internet age where every thought must be regurgitated on the Internet for the whole world. He says he's working out his issues!
He could have simply said that he starts enjoying time with his children more as they grow older and are more capable of doing fun things.
I think he's an idiot and a cruel parent.