Husband slept with escort....help!

[sambageeni]

Back in June I found a text message from what turned out to be an escort arranging an 'appointment' (second one apparently). I did some digging and found out that he had been going on the adultwork website alot (every night) and having sex calls and sex emails etc with various women. I confronted him and he broke down, started vomiting, shaking, panic attacks etc etc. I didn't kick him out, maybe I should have done. I am a Christian and have very close Christian friends who have been helping us through this. He is NOT a Christian however. Our sex life is rubbish and has been since the birth of our first DD, we have 3 in total, 6,4 and 2. If it wasn't for the girls I would not be with him. I'm not in love with him any more. But I can't bare to separate him from the girls; they idolise him. I also feel sorry for him - odd I know.

It all feels unreal. He spent £100 for an hour with an escort; this I find hard as I was have to feed the girls beans on toast as money was so tight. He had a separate account which I didn't have access to.

I am unhappy and know deep down what I need to do but I just don't want to put my DDs through the upset; they are more important than me.

I really want to talk to my mum about this but she has terminal bone cancer and I don't want to be put her through the stress. I am so confused. HELP!

This is not a joke or a website plug I promise u that! It is a popular website I think, with a lot of women registered to it with reviews and ratings. It is disgusting believe me!

Thank you for everyone's replies. I know deep down what I need to do but I'm scared of the unknown, I'm sure u all understand that. My Christian friends r not telling me to stay but r one hundred per cent behind me whatever I do. TBH, my faith isn't the problem here; my fear and indecision is. I always thought that if he ever cheated I would be gone but now its happened it isn't that simple/easy. Particularly when he says he was in a dark place, relieved its out in the open and loves me blah blah blah. I just want to run away and disappear :(

There is the fear that these threads, by giving online exposure to the site, are a disguised attempt to recruit women by 'normalizing' prostitution as a career choice?
Should this concern be reported?

No brainier for me, if I ever found out my partner had been with a prostitute he would be out the door.

There would be no excuse or negotiation about it.

I once split with a boyfriend when I found out he had paid for sex before he met me, not the type of man for me.

Its a big site and MN is a big site, it isnt at all surprising to me that a fair number of MNers have found their OH's registered on there. I dont think there is anything more to it than that, reporting concerns about people naming the site would just put women, who have found out that their OH is using the site to buy sex, off posting about it incase they are accused of being trolls/spammers.

"he was in a dark place"

Talk is so cheap at times like this. Slimy shits like your DH will trot out any old crap to make you feel sorry for them and think 'I love you' gets them off the hook. If you hadn't caught him out he'd still be merrily wasting the housekeeping on hookers. 100% guaranteed. What exactly are you frightened of? Life as a single parent? The shame of being divorced? Independence? Upsetting the kids? Admitting failure?

You've had chance to think about how you feel if you discovered this in June. You didn't kick him out at the time but you now probably realise you've made a big mistake. You're already not in love with him any more and, quite quickly, you'll go from that to despising him. Your children will know there's something wrong but they'll think this is how adult relationships are... setting them up for disappointment in turn. Whatever's holding you back from kicking this man to the kerb, ask yourself if the alternatives are any better.

You would be better off alone than with an inadequate man like this

Sam, this is one of the saddest threads I have read on here. What has happened in the last few days?
Please please pray to God to give you the strength to leave this evil man who has totally mocked your vows/beliefs/religion but more importantly your babies:(

God will understand it was HIM that betrayed you and not a simple affair but with prostitution leaving your babies hungry:(

He has broken several of the commandments and has technically remarried (another MN said he marries with whom he sleeps with in eyes of the Lord).

I hope God has shown you the right path for you and your babies sake! God would want you not to be with this man who puts your's and babies lives at risk!.
I also agree get STI tests done ASAP.

Poor you. Your husband is a terrible person. A terrible husband, a terrible father and a terrible human being.

I suggest you also reach out and talk to some friends who dont share your faith, if you have any. As a Christian, I often find that some Christians have problems reconciling the words of the Bible and the teachings of the Lord with some of the modern day problems women face, and are too conflicted to go give real good advice about divorce and life as a single parent. You may find more comfort from talking to people whose faith is not so important to them. I am sorry if this upsets your religious feelings, or the feelings of other religious people reading. It is just my observation and experience, so OPs experience of her friends may naturally differ from mine.

This is an old thread.
jim spammed it and has been reported.

This is the second old thread I have seen resurrected for dubious purposes

Zombie thread to spam a link to an escort site. So thoughtful

Yes, AF and by the same person with a very dubious link added to it. I've reported both.

Oh well.

Then the Ressurector of old threads is a TERRIBLE Human scum.

Me too sue

Exactly what AThing and AF have said - how can you be with him and raise your daughters when you know he treats women in this way? Those girls are someone's daughter too. Walk away, it's him who has broken your marriage. I hope your friends are being supportive and not simply encouraging you to stay married to this toad.

Oops, zombie thread, sorry. Will report