The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Turning Over Autumn Leaves In Search For Our Own Personal Sobriety

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse and my best friend used to be vodka. We were inseparable at the time, such fun! Wild nights out, wild nights in..... danger, excitement, strangers, not knowing where I was when I woke up, oh it was all so fantastic.....

Not the case for the last couple of years or so, since I found this Bus.

Now, we are practically strangers. Don't get me wrong, I still abuse alcohol and use it to self-medicate which completely defeats all of the work I've put in, trying to see my life through sober eyes but that's just how I do things......

Anyway, that's enough about me so why not come say hello to the others on the Bus, we're all at different stages of drinking, not drinking or complete abstinence (of the drinking kind!)

No-one on the Bus wears judgy pants, nylon bloomers, leopard skin thongs? Maybe...... I wouldn't like to ask to be honest! But we are all here for the very same reason, we can't (or don't want to) control our drinking like 'normal' people do.

If you'd like to see how this all started, why not have a look HERE and read about one of the most inspirational ladies you'll ever 'know'.

You can also follow the threads, one by one, by clicking on the links on each thread towards the end, leading to the next etc......

See you soon x

[Elevensies]

Hi everyone - just checking in on the bus and hope you are all well.

The random calendar reminders on my phone popping up with reminders is really helping me today. Day 2. Just been drinking fruit juice mused with sparkling water tonight and about to have a nice cup of tea.

You all are a great encouragement - thanks heaps.

Big test today re tomorrow night is my friend has asked me to pop in tomorrow evening for a chat and glass of vino. I've replied that happy to pop over but I'm off the wine at the moment. So wish me luck tomorrow night. Will check in if I can.

So glad I found this bus - ding ding

Night all x

[Elevensies]

Ooops. Forgot to switch names. I am also known as waterismynewbestfriend.

[dementedma]

Still in the sidecar. Just can't seem to get out of it

[NoNoNoMYDoIt]

mouse - no need to apologise. You had said in your post you hadn't read back so I knew it was an xpost. Thanks tho. . More details have emerged this evening and it sounds so traumatic for the teachers. The head was away today along with the junior deputy (two separate schools although merging after Xmas). I do wonder whether it was related to the merger and the fact he might have been losing his job. Who knows? But basically there are only 4 teachers in the school so they will have had to deal with everything. I feel so sad for them.

Stayed on the bus tonight anyway. Drinking would not have changed what had happened or how I feel about it

Night all xx

[guggenheim]

gulp! If anyone remembers, had a toxic father of my own (much sympathy to mouse and her dd ) who was intending to call /show up after I had tried to cut ties. Well, he called tonight and I told him in a polite but bloody firm way that I do not want to continue contact with him, asked him to respect my decision and left it there.
I feel very relieved and I hope that there won't be any fall out.

Waves to water and ma
ma I'm in the sidecar most of the time, if I'm honest. One of the things I cling to, like a limpet, is ANY reduction in drinking at all and I'm massively proud when /if I manage an af night.Am I right in thinking that you drink but it's quite small amounts?

Night babes I'm knackered.

[Mouseface]

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Sorry to start the day with a gloomy post but I wanted to say that seven years ago today, we lost our darling triplet boys, Charlie, George and Harry. They were 16+5 weeks gestation.

I often wonder how they would have turned out, how they'd be, three cheeky little scamps? Clever? Bright eyed and cute as buttons? Who knows.

I'm not going to say anymore, I just wanted to share that with you all and to say that today will be a tough one for me, but we have Nemo and our gorgeous DD which is more than others who are desperate to hold a baby in their arms .

I have lit three little tea-lights for them.

Off to pre-school soon so I'll be kept nice and busy there.

NoNo - Thank you for realising. xx

IsinDe - Your post made me think, will come back and explain when I have chance later. Hope you're okay today xx

[GoldenSeptember]

Mouse sending you a big (and very gentle) hug on this sad anniversary.

Isindie couldn't agree more. Sadly, I can't see it changing; each generation seems to get more acquisitive.

[EllieorOllie]

Will be thinking of you today mouse. Your courage in the face of adversity and tragedy is truly inspiring xx

[aliasjoey]

mouse said: He finally gave in to sleep after three stories, little monkey tricked me into it.....

uh, that doesn't get any better. Last night DD persuaded DH to draw pictures of her 'Monster High' dolls (have you seen those? they're weird) with cries of 'You're so clever daddy!' and 'One more daddy, you're really good at drawing!'

[EllieorOllie]

Checking in.

2 days af free, may have one drink later as going out for late lunch today, but will NOT be picking up at home this evening.

Feel really bad this morning as got really stressed and shouty with DD making us a all late for school despite very clear instructions. I was still so cross with her when we finally got there that I didn't really comfort her properly and now I just want to go and give her a huge hug but it's too late :-(

Really need to stop getting so stressed about little things but find it so hard, I have panic attacks if I think i'm going to be late. Anxiety seems to be a common theme on here...

Sorry for the me-me post

[aliasjoey]

sorry I didn't read through to the end mouse Thinking of you today xx

[aliasjoey]

wavering today. Depressed, fed-up, no energy...

I finally thought of a positive physical effect of not drinking: I haven't had acid reflux as much (for those who don't know, this is a horrid feeling you get just as you're dropping off to sleep & you suddenly get a rising tide of bile in your gorge uggghh)

Annoyed that I remembered this, as I was looking for an excuse to get some wine tonight.

[NoNoNoMYDoIt]

mouse - thinking of you today as you remember what happened and reflect on what might have been

still feeling very much in shock here today. went to school to drop the kids off this morning and the police support officers were there in force, which is good to see. the teachers look drained and very strained. i talked briefly to DS's teacher about his reading books and she could scarcely get her words out. a lot of the parents were obviously very distressed. the caretaker is so much part of the furniture at the school - literally. every time i was involved with a PTA event, he would be there supervising us moving the tables and chairs and making sure they went back in the right place because, obviously, we always did it wrong. he was the oil that kept the cogs of the school running. the school gates had been unlocked this morning but were still shut when we got there. he always opened them because many of the mums come with buggies and / or toddlers on the school run and trying to co-ordinate the levers and bolts on the gates is hard work. and it feels so horribly wrong that he took his own life on the school premises. somewhere where he was so loved by the kids and so needed by everyone.

sorry - i will stop talking about it, but the feeling of sorrow is immense.

[WaterIyNewBestFriend]

Raises a to everyone - here's to a positive day.

Sorry to hear some of you are dealing with horrible things - my thoughts are with you.

---

2 days af for me and looking forward to tonight/day being day 3. Can already see the benefits - am clearer headed in the mornings and more focused on things I want to achieve but haven't up to now had the energy to do.

(hopefully will have a positive effect on getting the housework done too)

Have a good day.

[aliasjoey]

sorry NoNo my woes are pathetic compared to that poor guy's family. What on earth made him do it at the school? Did he think he would lose his job?

Last night I told DH that although the massage had been lovely and relaxing, it did make me feel abit old. He said perhaps I needed more exercise I usually walk at least an hour a day, although its not aerobic I know. Said how the hell does being unfit mean my arms are sensitive to touch??? Burst into tears. Now DH thinks I didn't like the massage which was a birthday present from him but I did honestly.

I have this odd feeling like a... tension growing in my mind that can only be released by buying a drink. It's like its a big something building up, can't explain.

16 days. and counting every minute...

[NoNoNoMYDoIt]

alias - i do wonder if he had been told he was losing his job. the infants and juniors are merging and although there are two separate buildings and they will remain separate for now, i do wonder whether they have to lose one of the caretakers... ironically, i asked, at the parents' meeting about the merger, what the staff thought of the proposals and whether it was likely to affect morale. the HT said all the staff were enthusiastic and pleased and without exception thought it was a positive thing. now of course, this may have nothing at all to do with the merger, but the timing would fit.

[MIFLAW]

Everyone well?