The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Turning Over Autumn Leaves In Search For Our Own Personal Sobriety

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse and my best friend used to be vodka. We were inseparable at the time, such fun! Wild nights out, wild nights in..... danger, excitement, strangers, not knowing where I was when I woke up, oh it was all so fantastic.....

Not the case for the last couple of years or so, since I found this Bus.

Now, we are practically strangers. Don't get me wrong, I still abuse alcohol and use it to self-medicate which completely defeats all of the work I've put in, trying to see my life through sober eyes but that's just how I do things......

Anyway, that's enough about me so why not come say hello to the others on the Bus, we're all at different stages of drinking, not drinking or complete abstinence (of the drinking kind!)

No-one on the Bus wears judgy pants, nylon bloomers, leopard skin thongs? Maybe...... I wouldn't like to ask to be honest! But we are all here for the very same reason, we can't (or don't want to) control our drinking like 'normal' people do.

If you'd like to see how this all started, why not have a look HERE and read about one of the most inspirational ladies you'll ever 'know'.

You can also follow the threads, one by one, by clicking on the links on each thread towards the end, leading to the next etc......

See you soon x

[Mouseface]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU LOVELY ISINDE XxXxX

Saf - here, get under here with me Sorry you're feeling low and not firing on all cylinders. I am currently living on hot chocolate , cold, flu and cough caps from Wilko's of all places. They really do work and I have Benylin Mucus cough syrup with menthol in which is gorgeous. It really does help!

Hi to water you are in the right place as long as you don't mind the current snot infestation and a little grey cloud above the Bus..... (Saf - you're not the only one with a bit of grey cloud thing going on, I want my bed, shut all the doors, shut the world out for a while, I hate this weather, so glum, here if you want to chat sweets xx)

And hi Ellie and anyone else who is new or not been here for a while, like JWN!

Thanks Joey

I look adorable, honest!

[ruralreynard]

Happy Birthday isinde pleased for you that you don't have to be away from home this week .

koti second the advice from the other babes regarding SS. Hope it all goes well.
Welcome water you will find lots of support and good advice from the babes on this bus. Good luck with day 1.
mouse ma nono and anyone else suffering from the lurgy, really hope you recover soon.
day 5 for me, can't get off sleep at night as usual when I am not drinking but know know that it does get better after a couple of weeks if I get that far.
Do feel that the fog I was in 5 days days ago is lifting so really must not give in to the cravings.
golden thanks for moving over in the sidecar, don't fancy catching thr lurgy from ma tho so will be staying in my nice cosy seat inside the bus, for now anyway

[swallowedAfly]

happy birthday isinde

[aliasjoey]

I just tried to cut my own hair (following that mumsnet video) and totally screwed it up. Ended up still really long at the back, and with an unexpected fringe. Also a peculiar bit on top which is short and light and flyaway - and therefore sticks up like some sort of mini-beehive. Of course, I couldn't just accept the mistake and book into the hairdressers to get into sorted.

No, I then tried to attack it, shorten the back and generally hack it about. (Incidentally, I note that in the video someone else eg mum or sister cuts the hair. Me, I try to do it on my own with a pair of kitchen scissors. )

I can honestly say I've done more stupid things sober than drunk. BUT what then happens is I like to have a drink afterwards to blot out the memory.

Am feeling generally like I'd love to get some wine tonight. Not having a very stressful time (apart from the haircut-from-hell) but still would like a drink.

Its 2 weeks today. It looks like the sidecar is full of snot, so I will stay on the bus. Hope you guys feel better soon.

And welcome to water

[thurso1]

Yaay! I have been internet-less at home since Tuesday morning. It's just come back on.
Whatever did I do before!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISINDE, and many, many happy returns.

Love to all, just going to have a read

xxxx

[aliasjoey]

glad to have cheered you up kotinka. How did it go today with SS?

[dementedma]

Happy birthday indie! I would offer a hug but I'm germy. bails snot out of sidecar with pail

[aliasjoey]

15 minutes! they clearly don't think there is a serious risk. You can relax, but hopefully not over a glass of wine

[aliasjoey]

That's brilliant koti!

I'm trying to work out what is is that makes me want a drink right now... its not that my haircut looks stupid (although it does!) I don't really care what other people think. It's more frustration with myself for not having patience or lacking foresight...

It's not embarrassing, but I'm cross with myself... I always seem to do things without planning or thinking it through... or I know its the wrong thing and do it anyway...

maybe if I know there won't be any alcoholic oblivion later it will act as a deterrent?

[Mouseface]

Evening all, tis me, Mouse

Very quick post - Koti - Job done imo (and it os only that, I have no PERSONAL exp). If they were still concerned, the children would have been 'separated' as such and talked to about the same things in differnet ways so......

Child A - SW "oh, that train looks good, who got you that?"

Child B - SW "oh, that is a cool train, I love the colour of the doors" and then will wait for child to say Mummy got it, Daddy, uncle 1, 2, 3 and 4 etc.... you get the picture if they wanted to probe them, they would have done.

Sounds like the TV answer would be a totally normal one in a busy school morning house lovely.....

No TV? Cripes, you wicked woman you . They were there for 15 mins tops, if they wanted more, they'd have talked to the DC seperatly too I'd have thought, and you.

Did they even ask YOU how you were? I really hope you feel okay about it all, you still need to feel safe, stable. Use us for that okay?

We can help until the dark clouds clear more.

I have to go, DH is rolling his eyes at me, they are going to be covered in dust when I roll them back, I am in no mood for cleaning!

Night all xxxx

[Daisy0407]

Hello

Had a major wobble tonight. Almost, nearly, picked up my bag before taking the kids to tennis, so that I could stop at the shop to get a bottle of wine. So glad that I went out empty handed. By the time we got home, the urge had passed anyhow.

It's so easy to go wrong isn't it?

Koti that fuzzy feeling really isn't worth it. I'm slowly realizing that the feeling in the morning after NOT drinking is far better than the fuzzy feeling X

[aliasjoey]

kotinka thats a very interesting point about impulseiveness being a distraction - need to think about that.

I do usually have trouble sleeping & also am just a genera worrier.

daisy It's funny how the urge often passes if we don't give in to it.

[ShouldIgetonthebus]

So.....am at the bus stop, not sure whether I need or want to get on.

I used to be a regular drinker but not every night and not to puking-in-my-shoes excess. When I was PG I stopped drinking without a problem, found fags alot harder to give up tbh, and I have been pg more than once. I found that the pub scene bored me rigid without a drink (THAT is why people get drunk, because other people who are drunk are soooo fucking boring!) so I stopped going out. Didnt bother me at all.

However (and this may out me, so please keep it to yourself if you know who I am) after my youngest child was born less than 2 years ago, I found out the my husband had been having an affair. I only stayed because the baby was newborn and I had older ones too.

Since then my drinking has increased to the point where I am drinking every night, and atleast a bottle of wine but usually a bottle and a half. I drink from 7pm (never earlier, that is a rule which I know is a flag) til about 2 am, and I drink wine with water as I cant drink it straight. It started because I have always suffered appalling insomnia and it got worse after discovering the affair. I found that if I drank I atleast did sleep, albeit not well but it was better than nothing. I still dont drink to puke-in-my-shoes excess, and when I went out a few weeks back they hadnt got any ice or water (was a gallery opening type thing with drinks on trays) i had three glasses in 2 hours, felt as pissed as an arse so I took myself off home to bed!

But I dont want to stop drinking altogether. I would like to go back to how I was before were a bottle of wine would last a few days, with a spritzer maybe every other night because I want to and not because I need to. When I could go out with my friends and get a bit tipsey and then lay off it for a week because I can take or leave it.

I dont get hangovers, I dont drink during the day and it doesnt impact my life apart from financially and me feeling.......not ill......just not right, less energy etc I am sure you know what I mean. I do get that slightly panicky feeling if I dont think I can have wine (money, commitments, on my own with the kids, whatever) and I dont sleep at all if I dont have it. I think it is partly physical but mainly psychological in that I feel that I cant sleep if I dont have it, so I dont sleep because I have convinced myself that I wont.

Its only really been the last year that this has been a problem and I dont want it to get worse.

Do I belong on the bus? Am I allowed on the bus if I dont want to quit altogether? Am I being naive to think that a) I can have a healthy relationship with alcohol and b) ANYONE can have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Or are we all really just alcoholics in training once we take our first drink? Should I just stop altogether forever?

And before you ask, I do have a glass of wine and water with me now.

[WaterIsMyNewBestFriend]

Hi - just about to go to bed but just wanted to report in on my day 1.

Small steps for me - so far I have:

Made a recurring diary appointment on my phone to remind me at 7pm to only drink water with dinner. (this actually worked well tonight as out of habit I automatically headed for the wine rack just b4 serving dinner - my phone went off with the timely reminder - so I duly conceded and drank water instead. Very pleased with myself about that.

Had a mini wobble about an hour ago - slightly raided discussion with DH about a family issue - my first thought was to pour a glass of wine but I recognised that as a bad habit to break so tidied kitchen instead and returned to living room with cup of tea and having had some space if you see what I mean.

So - in summary - I've recognised two situations where I habitually tea h for the bottle - have noted these as red flag situations - and resisted. Well pleased with myself tonight.

My aim for tomorrow is to remember why I am doing this - might do another random timed diary note to keep me motivated.

Hope you are all doing well tonight - thanks for letting me hop aboard but I am ringing the bell as this is my stop to get off (for this evening).

[ShouldIgetonthebus]

Hi Kot :)

My plan? Erm, not sure I have one tbh. I am reading Allen Carrs "Easyway to control alcohol" but I am not sure it is for me, as it seems to be (so far, about halfway in) about quitting drinking altogether.

I just want to go back to the way I was. I drank for years and years without an issue, I could genuinely take it or leave it, I liked it sometimes but I didnt feel that I needed it. I have only had a problem with it for the last year or so, and I can place a date on when it started. Is that too long to be able to go back?