Should I tell my DH

[VodkaAndCokeplease]

DH and I have been married for abt. 15 years, 2DCs

A few months ago I developed a crush for someone else. I don't know where this came from because although things are not the way they were in my home life I always considered myself to be happy. Unfortunately it is not possible to stop seeing this OM because he is someone I work with. Nothing has happened between us and that is how I want it to stay, there is no way I would cheat on DH. I have tried to get the OM out of my system and focus my energy on my relationship but it does not want to go away. I'm running out of ideas and I wonder if perhaps I should tell DH that I have feelings for someone else but that there is no way I would act on them. I know it would cause a lot of pain and that perhaps this is a selfish thing to do. However I do think DH is noticing a difference in my behaviour. The other day he asked me to use my phone because his was flat. I'm not sure if it really was or if he just wanted to have a look to see if there was anything in my phone, which of course there isn't because there is nothing going on.

I need this feeling to go away and I feel guilty as if I'm having an affair because I often think about the OM. I'm not a bad person and I don't want to hurt anyone but if I'm honest with myself I think that if I did not have DC I may be tempted to take this further.

Please help...

Really bad idea to tell him that you'd go out with him if it wasn't for being happily married. He now knows that's the only obstacle and that you fancy him. If you'd wanted to put a stop to this, you'd have said he wasn't your type as well as being married.

Also couldn't help noticing that some posters have given you alot of time and good advice, but you haven't come back to your thread for days either to acknowledge that or say thanks. That's quite bad manners in my opinion and makes me wonder about your sense of entitlement in life. That's a universal character trait in people who have affairs, in my experience.

Beth, it could also be a sign that Vodka had other things to do over the weekend than spend the whole time checking her thread to see if anyone had insulted her for being honest.

The weekend is fair enough, especially as presumably her husband was around. OP started this thread on Monday 17th though and was getting lots of replies, but she abandoned it the next day and didn't come back to it till Friday night. I think that's a bit rude.

BethFairbright, I never meant to be rude, unfortunately I'm not able to check the thread constantly, I came back to check when I could.

I have also said here above how grateful I'm for the support I got here on mumsnet.

Also when you are saying "That's quite bad manners in my opinion and makes me wonder about your sense of entitlement in life. That's a universal character trait in people who have affairs, in my experience. " The reason I posted was to look for support. To be perfectly honest I do take offence of your character assassination but then again it probably says more about you than about me. I'm sure you are a lovely supportive person in the real world.

Finally, nothing wrong with letting someone down gently, I don't feel the need to be nasty unlike some.