Omg why did i send it?

[janflan]

Oh crap I've just sent a message to someone I've had a crush on for a while.

I haven't done anything about it because I've been in a relationship up until now.

However because he's part of exs social circle I'm unlikely to see him again. So i just sent him a message saying ex and i have split up and i don't want to lose touch with everyone.

I had to get his number off his website so I'm hoping i don't look like a mad stalker. He hasn't replied yet and i feel sick and am shaking.

Ex will go mad if he finds out so I'm hoping he doesn't. spread it around!

Keeping fingers crossed her replies and is lovely :)

Why will your ex go mad?

Is there history to this?

Thanks loopy no reply yet.

No history, ex doesn't know about the crush because i kept it well hidden. He's hoping we'll get back together i think.

Well the message seems quite innocent. Hunting down his phone number off the Internet is A touch stalky, but he would my know that

Leave it well alone now.

Hmm yes i was worried it would look like a mad stalker! I did know about his website anyway because we'd spoken about it before so all i needed to do was go to the contact us page. It does say there that queries will be dealt with within 24hrs so the phone may not even be on.

No reply I'm feeling really stupid now for sending it :(

You will hear form him i am sure just wait it will happen maybe not tonight or tomorrow but give it a couple of days , hope it works out for you.

Thank you i hope so too.

Are you sure he has got the message though? Depends how often he checks his email if you have sent via a website? Or was it direct phone to phone - have you maybe checked to see if he is on facebook. Nothing ventured nothing gained, just message him, say, hey, i really like you - would like to keep in touch, maybe have a drink - give him your number. Good luck x

My sister is married to a friend of her exs who she kept in contact with (11 years now).

No promises of course, but there is hope.

There was a phone number on there so i text him. It does say it can take up to 24hrs to get a response.

I can't find him on face book because i don't know his surname.

Don't worry about it though. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Your text doesn't sound awful at all, quite non-commital and innocently friendly by many standards! It could be construed as a bit of "fishing" but honestly how do people know if other people like them unless they show it! I wouldn't worry about whether he replies or not, but I guess thats hard.

how long have you and your ex been broken up?
sounds recent if you are sending out messages about not losing touch.

what would you think if your ex sent a text along those lines to a friend of yours?
i would be hurt.

We've been split up just over a month. I won't say where ex is tonight but lets just say he's doing a lot worse than sending a text.

My friend did something similar to this. Her ex and her had a couples friendship. Friend has been separated 4 years and she bumped into the male friend who told her that he and his wife had split up also. She liked him so sent a very generic message to all her "contacts" advising of a new number. He never responded. Not to say he didn't save her number and is wating for a good reason to contact her back. We have to remain optimistic about these matters..... :-)

You sent the perfect message, whiich looks generic and to lots of people ok, you know you sent it just to him which invites him to stay in touch. If he doesn't reply, it's no big deal and you have not lost any face IMO. I think this is a nice no-pressure way to find out if someone is available.

You also sent him the message on a Saturday, I assume that he doesn't work weekends? The number was on his work website..... my DH has his own company and doesn't answer his work phone at weekends.

You answered No history, ex doesn't know about the crush because i kept it well hidden. He's hoping we'll get back together i think. to my question.

Can I ask why you split and who made the decision? You know that you'll hurt him if he finds out, because of what you've said about him going mad.

Just see what happens. However, if it were the other way around, I think you'd be upset, hurt, embarrassed and feel a little torn because it's your friend.

I also suspect that this 'crush' has been going on before you split up from your ex, you said you'd kept it well hidden.

I'm guessing that this guy is single?

Oh, and by the way, I'm a right old cynical mare so I hope you can forgive the other side of the coin approach to this situation.

I have had the crush for a long time and i do think i kept it well hidden. I only ever saw him a few times a year so it's not like I've been constantly lusting over him .

This is nothing to do about us splitting. We split because he grabbed our son around the throat and i had to call the police.

Forgot to say he was single the last time i saw him 3 months ago but i don't know about now. He's only had 1 girlfriend since I've known him and he said he liked her because she was nice like me.

Jan - Your EX grabbed your son around the throat? That's so awful, sorry I hope he's okay? Thank Jeff you left him, so many people don't see the danger that's right in front of them.

He - your CrushMan - sounds like he likes committed relationships. If your ex does go mad, I hope he doesn't repeat his previous behaviour. Be careful.

I'm guessing you no longer live together? Are they still friends do you know? Sorry for all of the questions, I just want to get some background, and be nosy helpful if I can be.

My son's fine now thanks i did have a thread around the time about it.

They're not super close friends only see each other a few times a year in a social situation. No going to each others houses or anything like that. I don't think they've spoken since the split.

Ex might very well go mad, he's doing anger management and has been nice as pie for the last month. I can see signs of him slipping back to normal.

In that case, I hope that he does come back to you. I was just trying to get a fuller picture so that I could understand the situation from your OP.

I'm guessing that he'll have to think about it though? Even if your EX and CM aren't close, he may still feel a bit uncomfortable about you being in touch and if he knows anything about his previous behaviour, worry about what he may do to you?

I'm not scaremongering, I'm just saying be careful. Does he see your son?

I won't tell you to bugger off this is distracting me from the fact he hasn't replied.

Cm doesn't know about ex's behaviour as far as I'm aware. I very much doubt ex has told him. Ex does see our son but it has to be supervised by me which is great fun!

Do I detect a note of sarcasm in that last comment re the supervision . It's tough isn't it?

My DD is 13 and has just realised that her father is not who she always wanted him to be...... my husband is.

He told her a pack of lies over the years, to try and make himself look like a John Lewis Ad dad.

He told her the reason we split up was because I'd shouted as his son for colouring on the dining room table, not on the paper I'd given him (I was taking care of his children whom I'd only just met whilst he went to football training, or so he said) when in actual fact, we split up because his cock kept falling into other women, a common complaint I hear.

That must be such an annoying condition to have; FuckAnythingIFancyItis.

I'm hoping that CM will get in touch, tomorrow is Monday so maybe then?

Fingers crossed