Criticism

[runbabyrun]

Am I just being too emotional ??! Dp seems to think its okay to comment on my personality and expect me not to react.

The latest one is that I said "thanks" to him when he made space at the table for me to put something on it, he said/snapped - ( not in a nice friendly way ), dont say thankyou to me it makes me feel like you would talk to a friend like that , not me !! I dont get it , I have manners , are you not meant to have manners in a relationship?

I said stop criticising me, let me just be me.. I already have been given a few do's and don'ts in our relationship , sexual and otherwise, am I over reacting?

:)

Criticising someone who says thanks (in a non-sarcastic way) suggests someone who is just looking to find fault - literally nothing you can do is right if you can't say 'thanks' to someone!

Being given dos and don'ts suggests he is your boss - or at least that he may be treating you as an employee. Do you want to give examples?

I'm not allowed to dictate anything sex wise,he has to have full control - apparently its a turn off otherwise.
If I get upset about something he says I hate the way your face looks when your like this, which really hurts and upsets me more
Last weekend the fridge was too full - even though he's quite happy to eat whats in it ! Picked at me constantly all day .

He sounds like a dick.

I hardly dare ask .. does not being able to dictate anything sexwise mean he doesn't like it when you initiate things? Or does it mean that he literally dictates those things that you do during sex and those that you do not?

A couple of years, and he's never got any better, I just can't seem to be strong enough to go ! everytime ( theres been a few ) I gone to leave he says how awful I am to him, and he's sorry for being such a disapointment to me, I then feel guilty and feel like its been me . He says I cause trouble and can never be happy, but I've been happy in the past . He's not talking to me now, because I had the cheek to get a bit hurt over what he said. This is horrible, and I supposed to be going on holiday with him on monday , and I'm dreading it.

If you continue to be with this man, he will grind down your confidence until you actually believe him to be right and that you are, in fact, shit. At everything.

If you let it get that far, it will take you years to recover from the emotional abuse, if you ever do.

Please, please think about what he's doing and if you'd be happy for a man to treat a daughter of yours like that.

YOu are dreading going on holiday with him? Let him go by himself - you can spend the time leaving him without him blackmailing you into staying.

Oh god it's my ex again. Run

tribpot - he has to dictate things that we do or dont do, I havn't even tried initiating as to be honest that would probably be wrong too. I just feel so low now and I'm stupidly too scared to go . When I'm not here with him I am strong enough to leave. Thanks for all your replies, I needed to talk :)

You don't have to put up with this bollocks. SGB, where are you?

I'm at home with him, had a glass of wine with dinner so I'm stuck here tonight .

You've been happy in the past, you can be again, you're not now. Simple really.

Are you horrible to him? Does he try to support, cherish and amuse you? No? Well then he is a big disappointment ( from what you've said a bossy, selfish, intolerant one) and you can do better.

Where is the holiday etc?

There nothing wrong with your manners, honey, but the controlling and abusive cunt you've shacked up with has got no class.

What's stopping you leaving him to criticise himself?

No I'm not horrible to him , I find myself trying too hard that sometimes I hear a voice in my head saying " why are you doing this for him, stop being so stupid" Its just I think he turns it, so I feel like its my fault, but I think I'm only seeing this now

kill him

arse

He's a controlling, emotionally-manipulative bully. He will only get worse and leave your self-esteem and identity in tatters.

Do you have DC?

Are you constantly treading on eggshells, trying to gauge his mood and not upset him?

seriously will he go on the holiday without you?

Hate to be doom and gloom but I don't think your marraige will last. The worm will turn. I lived with a controlling critic for 10yrs. Am in the process of divorcing him.

Do hope I'm wrong.

(hugs). You don't deserve to live like this.

He sounds really controlling.

I already have been given a few do's and don'ts in our relationship

Any man who tried to give me a 'few do's and don'ts' will be addressing my back as I walk out the door.

A holiday with this twunt will be no break at all for you. Let him go on his own and while he's away, move out.