New 'Relationship'

[lm1983]

Wondered if anyone had any advice or been in a similar position as myself? Well here goes.

I have been seeing my 'boyfriend' for four months now and every time we part company i always feel empty and anxious when the evening ends because i worry when i am going to see him again and when.

We live about 12 miles away but have only seen each other once a week since we met. I have told him that this is not enough and all he does is say "I will try to see you more". But 4 months on and i still only see once a week and not even for a full day or more than 5 hours. To me this is not how a relationship should be and am contemplating on ending it as i am pissed off with the lack of communication between him texting, he takes at least 3 days to get back to me which pisses me off. We feel more like friends that meet for coffee than partners. He is 18 years older than i am and iam 31.

I think i know what i got to do but anyone got any advice?

Lisa

What difference does it make when you have to get up for work too? I reckon there's someone else . End end end!

@ OhEmgee24 i have tried telling him that. I text him today and still not heard anything from him. You would think someone could manage a text if they mattered wouldn't you.

He's not that interested in you.

IMO 18 years is too much of an age gap anyway.

I wouldn't waste time trying to change his attitude. Just call it a day.

Move on IM1983
He is just not that into you

I just feel i get mixed messages like we cuddled up on the sofa yesterday and kissed so he acted pretty interested in me. I just can not understand why the lack of communication when i don't see him. I know i need to call it a day and for my own sanity will do it sooner than later.

He's having his cake and eating it. A part time someone to have fun with when it suits him but the freedom of no commitment to keep looking.

I think he's trying to give you the message that he doesn't want to date you and you are not hearing it. The fact that he doesn't seem to have even suggested having sex suggests that he really doesn't see you as a partner or anything more than a friend.

Just to say OP, I was in a similar position like you. I was anxious and in pain with the long gaps without any contact, by phone or email or otherwise. I put it down to my new-relationship nerves, as otherwise he seemed very keen on sex me.

Actually, he unceremoniously did get shot of me around the 4 month mark, when I asked him why, he said he didn't want to be committed blah blah.

Don't know if that helps ...

I really don't get these sort of men playing around with people's feelings. Why do they do it? I actually feel like shit at the moment and having counselling but he has to go as he adds no value to my life what so ever. I need to work on myself and am not prepared to settle for low life bastards like him. Excuse my swearing but he has made me so angry and bitter that i am messed up emotionally at the moment. I think men are a waste of space and yet to meet one who is genuine and sincere.

you are worth so much more. what a waste of time this is.

cut loose now. you'll be a bit down for a bit, but just think, do you really want this to long term? do you really want have this man in your bed., really??

Met him off the internet. Perhaps he used the net to meet people cos no sane person would give him a chance on face to face date in the real world.

Did he, at any point, say that he wanted to have a long term relationship with you? If not, then you are at least partly responsible for your own misery here. A lot of people who use the internet for dating purposes treat it all pretty casually at least to start with and there is no reason why they shouldn't. Some people who are 'dating' see this as simply a way of making new friends, and there is nothing in your posts that suggests this man ever made any major advances on you.

And if you are desperate for a relationship, any relationship, then you actually need to stop dating while you get yourself out of that mindset, because desperation puts off the nice men but unfortunately attracts all the arseholes, nutters, cocklodgers and abusers.

Thanks for the advice Solidagoldbrass. Yes he did say he wanted something long term otherwise i would of got rid ages ago. Its just the lack of communication and everything being on his times.

Regarding internet dating i am not interested in 'dating' to meet new friends and find that rather weird to use a dating site for that purpose. I also have no interest in casual dating so therefore i would rather get new interests.

Does his first name start with A?

He sounds familiar!

Whose A? lol

Alisdair! Tis the sailing wot done it!

Tbh you sound a bit bitter and your desperation to be in a relationship shines through. Just because you've not found "the one", all men are a waste of space?? I met my bf online and he's amazing. You seem very quick to label blokes just because it hasn't worked out. Also if its been going on 4 months and you're miserable, you're partly to blame for not ending it at the start. To be frank though, doesn't sound like you're actually together anyway.