Anyone around to calm me down...?

[MeenaQ]

Long story, oh has walked out. Last night.
Finally admitted to'text flirting' with a girl from work. I found out a year ago, he swore it wouldn't happen again, I told him he was on his last chance. After lots of suspicion he admitted yesterday morning it had never really stopped. Girl he works with, different departments, overlap sometimes. He swears nothing physical ever happened but I bluffed about car park antics and he looked worried. I implied kissing, handholding, hugs fearing worse.

I told him we are finished. Asked him to leave and he refused. He said he can't leave kids. Without us he has nothing to live for.
Eventually he left empty handed, bar his set of keys, after longs saying goodbye to sleeping children.
He text soon after he left saying he was sorry, he loved us, without us he's got nothing to live for.
I replied asking him to give me space, calm down and agreed on counselling. ( which he suggested earlier)

Now I've heard nothing. Can't sleep as I'm worried. I've text asking where he is and called but no answer.
I'm so mad at him.

I don't actually think I want him back but I want him safe. The whole scenario has put me under such huge stress and now to pile pressure on with talk of nothing to live for.....

The children start school and nursery this week and I just want to keep things as normal as possible for them.

Thank you..... I'm not sure it'll work...... He knows it might not and we've got a lot of work to do......

We've both drifted and lost touch with each other.....

They start and finish work at the same time but usually work in different buildings. Occasionally their paths cross. He should be able to change shifts in the next few weeks..... He is going to change his number too.

I don't think she is interested in him.....other than just getting her cheap thrills. She has nothing to lose. He has now realised what he'll lose.

I'm not sure I'll ever trust him again. I certainly don't feel like I will at the moment. There's a lot of work to be done.

Can it even be done?

X'd posts with you madabouthotchoc - thanks for those. Anything is with a try. We've both invested a lot in our relationship and for all our sakes we want to say we gave it the very best shot.

It can be done but it will take a lot of hard work - mainly on his side.

He will need to look into himself and find out what flaws and personal issues made him think cheating on you was the best way of resolving his problems.

You really need to buy the books I have mentioned - NJF helped us and many other people on here enormously.

Thank you. They are in my basket already- just gotta put kids to bed

He buries everything and doesn't ever let feelings show. Always positive but likes to keep stuff in. Abandoned by his mother before his 1st birthday and a childhood that was happy but disjointed and had lots of unanswered questions. Still unanswered as he'd never upset the status quo.......

I suspect he feels/ felt that I'd abandoned him. I don't give him the attention he deserves. He's a good man, kind, loving and a brilliant dad. That doesn't excuse him in anyway and I'm not blaming myself but hopeful we can both work through our issues and give it another go....