DH not always fully erect

[jinglebellsup]

We have frequent sex and a very close happy relationship, but about half the time we have sex dh is only semi erect. This makes me feel a bit bad as i feel that i am not turning him on enough. He denies this and doesn't actually seem to realise when he is only semi erect. When he is hard sex is perfect, but this is slightly overshadowed by the other times. Any advice appreciated.

I don't know how old he is but would recommend that he sees his GP for a precautionary health check. Arousal is only part of the story and erectile dysfunction can be symptomatic of underlying health problems. Smokers, for example, are more at risk.

Depends on his age, medical conditions.

Probably naff all to do with you exciting him (I've been glad once or twice with DW for a little blue pill no matter how excited my brain is, engorgement can flag)

He is very fit and late 30s and doesn't smoke. It works perfectly about half the time.

Still worth talking to a doctor because, if blood-flow is restricted in an outwardly young, healthy, smokeless male, that can be an early-warning that all is not as well as it looks.

He really really needs to see a dr.

Oh, now i'm worried. We do have sex most nights so he is fully erect about 4 times a week, but flaging a bit on the others. Would that still indicate a health problem?

That's quite a lot of sex. He is late 30s, so he may be slowing down in that department.

Maybe you need to do it a bit less to get the better quality erections.

No one here can tell you. But he MUST go. To rule out blood pressure, cholesterol, heart, circulation problems

I see what you are saying houseofplain. I just don't want to give him issues by making a big deal about it.

I'm not sure if you are serious or not? It is a big deal. Ed although most of the time is psychological and it passes. It's an outward sign of some very serious heart and circulatory problems. At nearly 40. Something serious isn't totally out of the question.

So his health should be your concern here.

Is he wanking in between sex sessions? If he is then at his age I'd expect him to be less hard half the time.

Christ if he is having sex every night and wanking in between, he deserves a gold
medal for stamina

Undiagnosed diabetes is a possibility, as is any condition that restricts blood supply to the genitals, it needs medical investigation, a healthy man in his 30's should not be having inadequate erections, it's very often the first sign of an underlying health problem.

Is he having regular reflex erections, i.e. waking up with one?
My DH is nearly 50 and isn't "slowing down in that department", late 30's is spring chicken territory.

Realise this is a sensitive issue and you don't want to scare him but, if you read this NHS Direct piece on Erectile Dysfunction together and you rule out things like 'relationship problems' and 'anxiety' he might decide that it's worth getting checked out medically just for peace of mind.

If you can, go with him to the doc. Sadly this is another area where they are likely to send him away with Viagra without even looking at what might be wrong.

Not anymore fox. It's taken very seriously. Especially in a man coming into his 40s

Have 2 friends with this problem - one is 55 and the other 38. Neither were given any tests at all. Were just sent away with Viagra and that was it. Stupid really. Their BP may have been taken and that was all (and one of them had borderline high bp fgs)

And Viagra is not recommended for people with heart disease so that would have to be ruled out before it was prescribed.

Your friends have crap GPs... sadly all too common.

This is why I think it's better to go with seriously.

How do they test for heart disease?

They've got extremely bad gps then.

This sort of thing worries me. I have one v good mate who got Viagra then 6 months later was diagnosed with angina. He was told he was so lucky as the Viagra could have killed him.

I thought fgs why did they never test him in the first place?!

I am telling you this prescribing without testing anything is much more common than you think

Does he ride bicycles frequently?

I had this with one of my exes in his 20s. It turned out to actually be because his bicycle seat was restricting blood flow to the area, when he changed his seat the problem went away.

I think it's definitely something to research and get checked out. It may be nothing but it could be something physically wrong.

How do you test for heart disease plains?

Not related to this but dh's dad had early strokes and eventually died of a huge heart attack. Dh has always had issues with his blood pressure and weight so I want him to have his heart checked out but I have no idea how they would do this.

They can do really simple tests right there in the drs. ECG, bloods. You are then referred to hospital for more tests if necessary.

I know someone who'd had a "minor" heart attack and actually had angina. They were diagnosed by an ECG in the drs surgerys and were taken straight to hospital by ambulance.

If he's got concerns. Considering his history, his weight and bp. He should go back to his gp. Although one thing I do realise. A blanket response from gps can be "lose weight". Not with a good gp though. They can run basic tests.