OK..please don't give me a hard time because I'm in bits as it is.
Found out yesterday that I am pregnant. I have 2 dds, age 8 and 2, who are not my DF's, who I moved in with last month. He has 2 dc too, one who visits sometimes at weekends and one who lives with us 40% of the time.
We did not want a baby now. We were using the rhythm method (which has worked for me for the last 10 years), but somehow I am pg, even though I am not aware of any 'accidents' during the last month. Maybe it was the stress of moving (I have uprooted from the area I have lived all my life to live with him 200 miles away), I don't know, but it happened.
My first thought when I found out yesterday was that I should have a termination. We are screwed financially as it is, so obviously a new baby wouldn't help. Also I don't know where we would put a new baby as we have 3 bedrooms, one where the 2 big girls share, one small box room where the 2 year old sleeps, and our room. We also have DF's 14 year old DS son stay sometimes at weekends and he's on the sofa bed downstairs since me and my kids moved in.
Another thing is that I the most awful toothache in my wisdom tooth last month, I was literally screaming in agony for the best part of a month, and I couldn't get anyone to help me here as I was not registered with a dentist. In the end I had to drive 200 miles back to my home town to have the tooth pulled out, but whilst I was in pain I was taking strong opiate based painkillers, pretty much all day every day - codeine, Tramadol and oral morphine. I also got steaming drunk on DF's birthday weekend 18/19 August. I also had to take antibiotics to clear the infection in my tooth while it was still in my head, Metronidozole and Amoxycillin. So not sure how taking my own bodyweight in pills etc over the last month would have affected the baby.
I love DF and maybe one day we could have another baby but we are so poor right now (he is about to start his first year as teacher, doing his NQT). And we have not even been together for a year yet so it feels like shaky ground to be doing this. I have always seen myself as pro-life and I am shocked at myself for even considering a termination, but in many ways it seems like a reasonable option. However, I know that if I did it I would feel seriously guilty and messed up about it, though that might be preferable to bringing a child into the world when we are not really equipped to deal with it.
Some opinions would be great. Please be nice.