Suggestions for a small wedding for 26 people before my father passes away. Be very gratefukl for any ideas.

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Hello and thank you for reading this.

My dad has been battling cancer for a few years but they have now said they can only offer pallative chemo. They can't operate and I guess we just need to make the most of our time. To be honest I was so shocked, when he was first diagnosed he looked ill and we all knew something was not right, this time he has looks so well, better than ever but they said its back and spread. Friday he finds out more.

Getting married has been on my list of things to do, our three girls ask all the the time. This afternoon my dad asked why don't we just do it. I know he would like it to happen and I am guessing he wants to be there. I of course want my dad to give me away.

Problem is we rent, have three children and do not have money for a wedding and if we did we would get a mortgage first. I am not bothered by having a big "do" and in an ideal world I would love a wedding dress and all my friends there but realistically this will not happen. I do not know how long my dad will be around so was thinking of doing it 23rd Dec which is my partner which is our anniversary of "I love you". :)

I am thinking of a small wedding with 26 people max, 8 are children. Just our immediate family. Registry office and a really love pub meal. We all play music so be great to find a pub that would allow a little jam session after. My dad is a musician and to have him play to me on our special day (if he can) would be wonderful. This idea is just something that came about since I spoke to my dad today so I do not know where to start.

If anyone can recommend a lovely registry office/pub then I would really appreciate it - thank you!

Which county/city do you live in?

that would help ;)

we live in london but happy to travel 3 hours max from London. i was thinking of Kent maybe.

Have PM'd you

What sort of music OP? A folk singer isn't going to want the same setting as, perhaps a pianist.

You talk about palliative care - it might be worth asking the Hospice to help if he is under the care of a hospice ? I know our local one supports people wanting weddings or special parties a lot (often pictures in their newsletter) and they also have lovely rooms there (that they let out for conferences and "do"s, they are very posh).

So sorry to hear about your dad.

I think a small wedding is a great idea. How about somewhere near your dad(assuming he is not living near you). If it's London then Kew gardens do weddings and there is a nice pub on the green opposite. I have heard Westminster register office is lovely.

I think the 23rd Dec is a lovely idea but would it be an idea to do it sooner? I hope you dont mind me saying this but your dad may be finding it more tiring by then so might be better sooner than 4 (nearly) months away.

I agree about with it being near Christmas you will be charged a premium for no real return. Also that is 4 months away, does your dad have that time? I don't want to sound mean but you do have to consider this. I would be tempted to go to the registry office tomorrow and ask when their next available few dates are and go from there.

Good luck with planning your wonderful day.

Ealing Registry Office is nice . Not sure about pubs but I bet you can find a nice one.

Very randomly the blue boar at maldon in Essex is a really old hotel/ pub with a brewery on the premises.
It is very quirky olde worlde and in the pub all the real ale is local and served straight from casks.
They have a function room upstairs which when we asked a few years ago is free/ v cheap to use when you order function food, drink from the bar.
www.blueboarhotel.com/
Also, if you are looking for a pub style do, you could look at the CAMRA website for inspiration in the regions you fancy ?

Ooh yes, Maldon is lovely.

Bexley registry office in sidcup is a gorgeous Georgian building and there are some nice pubs not far away in the chistlehurst area if that helps. Good luck x

Thank you everyone. Very true about the date and time. I guess I am being positive about that far ahead too. Like I said he looks so well so I am finding it hard to believe. He has a meeting on Friday about his pallative care and mum is going to ask "the question". I guess the sooner the better.

Its folk music we play.

Thanks for the tips, will check them out x

I had a small wedding with 27 guests in London on December 20th many years ago. It was a doddle to arrange, we only got engaged in September! We had the wedding in Wandsworth registry office, which is lovely and has a fab marble staircase for photos. Then we booked our favourite restaurant on Battersea Rise for the meal, they even decorated the tables with holly and berries for no charge. We had a gorgeous meal and didn't pay any extra, and we had the whole restaurant until 6pm ( we got married on a Friday). Then we went to the pub! It was an amazing day, and all the guests thought it was great ( the non londoners got weirdly excited about the black taxis I had arranged to take us between places!). Anyway, it can be done easily and a lot cheaper than you would think. Oh we got a friend to make the cake too, which the restaurant was fine about. Anyway, good luck!

Backforgood - at the moment there is no hospice involved. he was given the news last two weeks ago after results from his scan. they said they can not operate and its spread from bowel into his live. and now they can only offer pallative chemo (spelling?). fri they will dicuss it, he has already started the chemo last week. two weeks ago we were all at a picnic and i said to my sisters he looked so great, now the chemo has kicked in he looks weaker. and i guess this will continue, its a shame he has to have it (not sure if the benefit of it will just make him so weak) but he said he wants to do whatever it takes to stay alive. I just cant bear to know I am going to see him waste away. It feels like I am reading a book and its not really my dad i am talking about.

glastocat - thanks, sounds great!

We hired an open top deck bus to take all our guests to country pub for a meal and then onto another pub for drinks. Not sure if it would be much fun in december. Champers on the top deck-great.

I went to a wedding at Marylebone registry office which was really lovely. You might get some places in the City or City fringes to do something for you as they won't have the office traffic on the 23rd, my friend who got married there went to a really nice gastropub in Farringdon, unfortunately can't remember the name of it, but will keep looking. They hired a route master to get guests from one to the other

Not sure which side of London you are but Langtons House registry office in Hornchurch is really lovely.

Was it The Eagle in Farringdon maybe?

We had ours at the Grasshopper Inn near Westerham, they were really good, had ceremony at the pub too. All very relaxed and they tailored it to us. Would have thought you would be able to get a good deal, we organised ours last minute and got loads off. grasshopperinn.co.uk/

PS very sorry to hear about your dad x

Oh,lovely,I could really recommend the Weald and Downland in W Sussex and then onto the Swan or Black Rabbit in Arundel. Several other really good pubs nearby aswell. Good for accommodation and trains.

The Barnsbury is nice and not v far from Islington Town Hall, though actually Hackney Town Hall is quite nice!

Further out the Guildhall in Winchester is nice for a civil service and there are lots of pubs around there in the city or nearby. I can recommend the Mayfly near Stockbridge or the Flower Pots in Cheriton.