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Original poster

First ever one night stand - oh the shame...........

41 replies

DLCC · 28/08/2012 10:29

I?m not quite sure whether I?m looking for advice/a telling off or what really but I need to get this off my chest. I?m 40 years old, have two children, 8 and 3, I have been separated for 2.5 years. Since I separated from my husband I have dated two guys for 3 months each and that has been it. Anyway Friday night I went on a rare night out with girlfriends to a club with a hotel attached, as it was a fair way from home so myself and my friends decided to stay over, to cut a long story short I had a one night stand which I am in full on cringe mode about. I have never done it before and just feel awful. He was a nice guy, we stayed in his room and in the morning he was very affectionate and attentive, asked for my number (which I?m not even sure I gave him the right one as I was a tad hungover!) and said he?d meet me downstairs for coffee once I?d gone back to my room and showered etc. We did this for a couple of hours and it was ok, not sure he was totally my type in the cold light of day but nice enough. Said our goodbyes and that was it. I just feel really, really ashamed of myself. I?ve never done that before and feel totally crap about myself?..

OP posts:
TellyBug · 28/08/2012 10:32

Don't feel ashamed! It sounds like you had a great time. Why do you want a telling off?

slartybartfast · 28/08/2012 10:33

aw, good for you!

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 28/08/2012 10:35

Don't feel ashamed at all.

Did you have a good evening - yes.
Did he behave like a decent human being after - Yes.

Do you need to feel ashamed - No.

Take it as a compliment, not as a reason to beat yourself up.

BellaOfTheBalls · 28/08/2012 10:35

You don't need a telling off. You are both consenting adults and it sounds like you enjoyed yourself.

Don't beat yourself up. Grin

gingerpig · 28/08/2012 10:37

hmmmm. it sounds like you have a belief that 'nice girls' do not have one night stands.. is that correct?

LilBlondePessimist · 28/08/2012 10:38

You're a big girl, and you're single so nothing to be ashamed of. I presume you took precautions, and your friends knew where you were so you were also safe. If it made you feel that bad then just don't do it again if you don't want to but you certainly did nothing wrong. Be kind to yourself. :)

Original poster
DLCC · 28/08/2012 10:39

Thanks for all the comments, you're right we were two consenting adults and it was a fun evening but gingerpig you could be right!!

OP posts:
slartybartfast · 28/08/2012 10:39

see him again, if he rings and you gave him the correct number - then you wont feel like it was a one night stand! well it wont be

SPsFanjoSponsoredByFemFresh · 28/08/2012 10:39

I'm jealous. I had my first night out in years last week and all I got was a dance! Not even a grope Grin

You don't need to feel ashamed at all.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 28/08/2012 10:40

No need to feel ashamed. You're a grown woman, who fancied a shag. No one got hurt, no one was lied to, no harm done :)

worldgonecrazy · 28/08/2012 10:49

DLCC - why do you want telling off for enjoying yourself and being an adult who makes her own decisions? Give yourself a break, allow yourself the freedom to make choices, good and bad, and forgive yourself when the choices you make don't stack up to some ideal of "niceness".

Oii Ginger!! I'm a "nice girl" and I've had lots of one night stands. Wink

CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/08/2012 10:50

Why feel ashamed? Two consenting unattached adults have a bunk-up and you left the next morning. No strings sex has its place and, following a long-term relationship, it's good to have a few love 'em and leave 'em experiences. Good for the old ego. Something to smile about on your death-bed.

Guiltypleasures001 · 28/08/2012 10:54

next time give him one from us, then .....leave the bastard x

FussArse · 28/08/2012 10:56

'Nice girls' definitely do Smile

Remember those STDs though and be safe!

AnyFucker · 28/08/2012 10:59

blimey, what have you to be ashamed of ?

you did use a condom though, yeah ?

dequoisagitil · 28/08/2012 11:21

Nothing wrong here.

If alcohol was taken, that can make you feel crap the next day, not just a physical hangover but a psychological one of embarrassment/guilt/paranoia, even when you just had a good time.

Original poster
DLCC · 28/08/2012 11:32

Hahaha! thanks for the messages, I was safe yes so no worries there, some of the comments made me snort with laughter which is always a good look!!!

OP posts:
gingerpig · 28/08/2012 11:36

i agree - nice girls definitely do! after all, look how nice you were to him Wink

dranksinatra · 28/08/2012 12:03

you go girl.

Original poster
DLCC · 04/09/2012 14:07

He text, wasn't expecting that! meant to be meeting up on the 18th....

OP posts:
mirry2 · 04/09/2012 14:11

No longer a one night stand then Grin

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 04/09/2012 14:13

The only bad thing about this is that I'm feeling v Envy sounds like a great night!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/09/2012 14:14

If he's not totally your type, why are you meeting up? Whole point of one night stands is that you don't have to see them again Confused

Houseofplain · 04/09/2012 14:16

Why ashamed?

skyebluesapphire · 04/09/2012 14:48

I knew my STBXH as we lived in the same town, but the night we got together I asked him into the pub for a drink (I was drunk outside texting a friend, would never have had the nerve otherwise..). He later walked me home and we ended up in bed together. It was totally out of character for him and only about the second time for me....

We ended up living together and getting married (and now divorcing). But what could have been a one night stand was the start of a beautiful relationship.