Can I offload to you guys about my new boyfriend? Head spinning/confusion/lurve ...

[HairyArmPit]

So I met someone on POF about two months ago. Lovely guy, very early 40s, kind, funny, sweet, fun to be around, respectful - ticks all the boxes.

We've seen each other loads over the two months since we met - starting off with once a week at first, then twice a week and recently around 3/4 times a week.

I feel I've had more in depth conversations with this guy in two months than I did with my ex in 2 years.

We text each other daily. Have spent a few nights together and everything is going great.

Well, he's just gone away to a festival and will be away until Sunday. I go away on Sunday before he gets back for a week and then he's away again when I get back so all in all, we will go about 2 weeks without seeing each other.

Just before he left, we went out for a meal and then went back to his house for a smooch and he kept saying how hard he'll find it not seeing me for two weeks, how he'll miss me, keeps going on about our whirlwind romance and how crazy it has been in such a short space of time, kept saying about how he can't wait for us to do all the things we have planned together -

Then he left yesterday. Barely heard from him all day but assumed he'd be busy and he did warn me that he might be without a phone at the festival due to charging issues so it could be possible that he wouldn't be able to text me until Sunday (but of course, I leave the country Sunday).

Well, he text me last night to say he'd got there and sent me a picture of it. That's the last time I heard from him. Not heard from him at all today. My head is saying his phone has obviously ran out of charge but my heart is constantly asking "what IS going on here??"

The long and short of it is, we met 2 months ago. It's been absolutely crazy - a proper whirlwind romance, can't get enough of each other, he talks about our future a lot and we're booking something for next June so he's obviously intending to stick around.

So why the hell can't I stop analysing it/him??

These two weeks apart will be make or break for us as he's telling his kids about me whilst I'm away and when he gets back, we're going to introduce him to my kids.

I get the feeling that if he has any doubts, it will be when I get back that he voices them.

Not sure what I'm asking here, I'm just feeling a little confused and vulnerable and wondered what others would make of this situation?

Tbh, I think it's a bit early to be introducing each other to the children. It's two months.

Stop worrying about this weekend - he's at a festival!

But slow things down a bit. If it's going to work out it will, but rushing things and getting the children involved will put on pressure and put their feelings at risk. There's no hurry, enjoy dating, have fun, keep it uncomplicated.

Chill OP.
He's said and done all the right things to reassure you.
Seriously you are over analysing, and not doing yourself any favours by imagining this as make or break. (Frankly, it isn't.)
There are many more things much more serious that could be make or break. You'll be okay.
I would strongly recommend that you occupy yourself and enjoy this as some alone time with your children.
Whether it works out or not in the long term with your lovely new guy, this doesn't sound to be the make or break point. It is just a nice holiday for him and a nice holiday for you. Hope you are okay.

Thanks for yesterday guys, I just wanted a bit of reassurance that I was infact being a bit pathetic and you gave me that

Still not heard anything from him but I know it will be a problem with his phone. He's given me no reason to think otherwise.

I'm getting my hair cut this afternoon and before he left he asked me to send him a pic of my new hairdo before I leave for my hols so - I'm thinking this afternoon I'll send him a pic with the following message -

"Hey, hope you're having a great time - you probably won't get this until Sunday and I'll be in the air by then so I'll text you when I land x"

Does that sound ok or still a bit clingy?

Hairy, if I were him that message would be absolutely perfect. I am a man too btw.

Even if he has charge in his phone, signal is awful at festivals.

But seriously, you've known him for 2 months, you're freaking out because he's not text for a few days, you think there's a chance you'll break up due to being apart for a fortnight... And you seriously think introducing your kids right now is a good thing...?

Hi Hairy, I remember being in exactly the same position as you at the start of my relationship with my now husband. We had only really been together for a month but it had been a pretty intense month where we saw each other everyday and had gotten very serious - we were in a proper lust phase. Then he had to go away on a pre-arranged skiing holiday with his mates (on my b'day). I was pining like mad, going out of my mind trying to analyse why he hadnt texted to tell me he'd landed safely etc. Anyway he eventually did text me once on the first evening to say he'd arrived but texts were very few and far between the rest of the fortnight so I did everything I could to distract myself and hope that he still felt the same when he came back. When he came home, I went to meet him at the airport. As he came into sight he was grinning like mad and was obviously so pleased to see me. He told me that he'd been completely floored by how much he missed me but obviously didn't have the opportunity to keep texting me all the time, what with skiing and drinking and generally not being apart from his mates. Simple as that. So I do see exactly where you're coming from but for me it was completely irrational and I recognise my insecurity was some form of separation anxiety (dad left home when I was 5 years old blah blah) but 6 years down the line, 1 year of marriage and a baby imminent, I have finally put those insecurities away (bar the odd pregnancy-related wobble!) I do still look back at that fortnight and would do anything to experience again that overwhelming feeling of love/lust when I first clapped eyes on him after that time apart. That moment really cemented how much we felt about each other.

If he's asked for a pic of your new hair do then I'd say that's fine to send that txt (plus you got the male seal of approval from dzh!)

When I met DP, it was pretty intense and fast moving. 3 weeks after we met I went to a festival (reception has been appalling every time I've been btw), then 2 weeks later I went on hol. He had his birthday when I was away, so I rang him, but that was the only contact we had all week (for some reason stupid mobile wouldn't connect to a network). We saw each other for a couple of hours when I got home as he was on his way out to a big football event. When he got there he txt saying he'd missed me so much, and the couple if hours we'd just had made him realise just how much. He left the event early, came over, and fast forward 4 yr, we have a baby and are about to get married.

I guess my point with all the rambling, is that if it's going to work out for you, it will regardless of the time spent apart. It may show how much you enjoy being together when you meet up again and you realise how much you missed each other. Enjoy your hol!

How about going retro and actually writing him a letter, nothing heavy but just chatty and maybe with a few more hair pics ???

If its the Leeds Festival - I went yesterday and my vodaphone signal was intermittent.

Thanks guys, quick update.

He text today saying he was charging up his phone in the car and missing me loads (tons of kisses ) sounds like he's having a great time though, listing all the bands he's seen and wishing me a good holiday. He said he's turning off his phone to save battery and will text again tonight.

Mind immediately put at rest I know it all sounds a bit ridiculous but it's nice to see other posters that have experienced the same thing. Human emotion is what it is, it takes a strong person to turn it off just because it seems inappropriate. I do however see the point about the kids and I think I'll postpone that for a few more months.

Thanks again everyone x

Yay. Happy ending!

I think you need to slow down and calm down in the nicest possibly way.

I know you are as high as a kite but if you are going to fret every time you go a few hours without hearing from him you are going to be exhausted.

With the age gap as well, you probably have different ideas about contact and expectations, etc so really just enjoy it and stop with the analysing. You are going to upset yourself and put him off if you come across as needy.

Hurray for the update! I missed that on my screen .

Blimey at festivals there is NEVER a signal!! You're usually in the middle of fields or somewhere with a billion people in one space trying to get a signal!
He will be in touch soon and when he is just let him know it's good to hear from him!