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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Opinions please.

42 replies

Nightwish · 24/08/2012 15:47

Woke up this morning and DP told me about a random conversation he had with my friend at 4am this morning online.
He mentioned it was weird and funny, she had been up because she was hot and wasn't wearing any clothes.
The way he said it made me think so had a look.
(Yes he does sound like he can't type or speak properly, please ignore that, and that is with me adding correct punctuation in some places!)

DP - Am I the only person online atm?

Friend: Was sweating like hell so had to whip my top off
And yeah pretty much.

DP - Haha I thought so. I hardly talk to you, then, BAM out of the blue a random conversation xD but its cool I like random convos . Will have to delete this one off my comp though haha cause you keep mentioning taking your cloths off, Nightwish would go mad xD

Friend - Ahha I didn't think of that

DP - haha I don't care Nightwish trys to wrap me up in cotton wool , any way how have you been?

Friend - Ha well she won't have to know that I'm talking to u topless
I'm pretty good summer draggin a bit though

DP- lol putting images into my head now xD nice one
Is it summer yet ? I couldn't tell lol?

Friend - Lol you'll have to delete those images from your head too.
Yeah summers been pretty shit, now its almost over.

DP - She can't see those don't worry xD

Normal? Not normal?
Banter?

Eugh, I am very tired, stayed up most of the night to finish my university work for the deadline today, and I make an awful tired person so would like some perspective.

And the, yes you should not have looked, well it was the way he explained it to me this morning because he obviously saw a problem with it, or knew I would not be impressed, therefore was damage limiting in my eyes.

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/08/2012 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Original poster

Nightwish · 24/08/2012 15:55

My first biscuit, thanks for that Cog but I am not really that hungry, just very tired!

Your problem with thinking this is not real?

OP posts:

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 24/08/2012 16:03

There js, apparently, an ongoing invasion from another forum, and it appears cogito thinks you're part of it. As I see you have a substantial posting history, I'll take you at face value.

Imho, the conversation is harmless, and he didn't lie to you or hide it. Try not to worry about it.

SecretCermonials · 24/08/2012 16:05

It would make me uncomfortable.

BlackberryIce · 24/08/2012 16:08

It would make me uncomfortable too op. How good a 'friend' is this?

Crocodilio · 24/08/2012 16:08

It diesn't look like either of them meant anything by it, and it was just passing the time.

However, both your dp and friend sound like total twats. Does he have a more intelligent side that is hidden from us in this exchange?

RDMLL · 24/08/2012 16:13

It would make me uncomfortable too, good luck!

izzyizin · 24/08/2012 16:18

I'm with Croc on this. What's the twat's iq?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/08/2012 16:22

You can hardly blame me... it sounds like a script from a really bad porn movie. Your friend's a tart and your 'DP' shouldn't be encouraging her. 'Random' my arse. No-one randomly chats to anyone at 4am

izzyizin · 24/08/2012 16:25

What a difference 5 minutes makes. I've now switched allegiance from Croc to Cog - but I still would like to know the twat's iq

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 24/08/2012 16:31

Oh, I'm not blaming you, Cog, totally get your point, but then 4am conversations rarely achieve much by way of sophisticated chat.

At least they weren't Skyping.

Houseofplain · 24/08/2012 16:31

I've got to say I did think the same. It's just so tacky.

Original poster

Nightwish · 24/08/2012 16:32

Yeah to be fair his IQ isn't the highest and neither is hers.
Not really an intelligent side hidden.

DP has insomnia, so yes he is up at 4am, and she started the conversation which I thought was weird. Random was the way he put it, not me.

Cog, if you think I have giant hairy feet, that is fine, but please just don't reply and go to another thread. I have posted to ask for opinions as I am tired, as previously mentioned, and probably inclined to over react. And unfortunately it is not my fault that it sounds like a script from a bad porn movie, if I had any choice the conversation would not have taken place.

I don't have the time/energy/inclination to create a conversation that looks like it has been written by teenagers. The amount of spelling mistakes, capital letters and punctuation I had to add just to make it readable for MNers was awful.

OP posts:

Spuddybean · 24/08/2012 16:36

Personally I think your DP is more encouraging than her. I wouldn't be happy with all the 'mental pics' references from him. (i said to people on Sunday, when it was hot, i'd had to have 4 cold showers - and i'd be a bit if they said something about mental pics of me etc).

It's not massively normal to keep mentioning you haven't got any clothes on (once if it was referring to heat maybe) but your DP appears to be enjoying it more.

Neither sound too bright. Why did your DP mention it or show you?

Houseofplain · 24/08/2012 16:37

I would wonder how many more "conversations" he'd been having at 4am.

They both sound as thick as shit op.

AgathaFusty · 24/08/2012 16:37

I wouldn't like it. It's tacky. She sounds like one of those horrible flirty women, and he sounds like one of those men who encourage those horrible flirty women.

But at least he told you about it.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/08/2012 16:39

Told her an edited highlight, you mean. Maybe the typing and spelling was all over the place because he only had one and free at the time....?

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 24/08/2012 16:44

Makes me uncomfortable but if he really had something to hide, he wouldn't have told you and would have deleted the messages from the computer.

The women starting the conversation and repeatedly mentioning she was topless would send alarm bells ringing though, I wouldn't want my H spending too much time talking to her from now on tbh.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 24/08/2012 16:46

This bit: "Lol you'll have to delete those images from your head too" made me think that she was trying to nip his flirtation in the bud.

amillionyears · 24/08/2012 16:56

How old is everyone concerned?
How long have you been with your DP?
How long has your friend been a friend for?

scentednappyhag · 24/08/2012 16:58

She has no need to 'keep mentioning' her state of undress, and he definitely should not be giving her the impression that they're doing something naughty and private 'I'll have to delete this' and bad mouthing your relationship 'I don't care, she wraps me in cotton wool blah blah'.
I'd be pissed.

izzyizin · 24/08/2012 17:05

You shouldn't have looked? I don't buy that. Try 'he shouldn't be perving over ows' at any time of the day or night.

How long has this secret perver twat been your dp, Night?

AnyFucker · 24/08/2012 17:08

your partner is a skank

why are you still with him, knowing what you know ?

Original poster

Nightwish · 24/08/2012 19:27

She has been a friend since primary school, but only see her couple of times a year now.

Been with DP for 4 years, 1 DS.
Ages are early to mid 20's.

And I thought I was likely overreacting, which is why I am currently still with him.

OP posts:

amillionyears · 24/08/2012 19:49

What happened was completely not on.

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