Would you get engaged if you were still married, but in the process of divorcing?

[AnuvvaMuvva]

Well, would you? Do you know anyone who did?

zombie thread

I know this is an old thread but I hope someone is still around. Mrs Terry Pratchett, floranora, I'm in a bit of a situation and I was looking for answers too. My Bf I just found out is still married (although I"m not supposed to know but he started the divorce process with her ). It's a marriage that is at least 20 years ago. As far as I can tell, he doesn't have any current contact or involvement in her life. He contacted her recently to get the divorce. He's been with a woman after this marriage which is now his late wife (or at least like it) and they had two kids. She died 5 years ago and now I've been with him for nearly 2 years. I dont' know what she didnt' raise the issue of not marrying, mayb they just didnt' want to marry. But we are moving to that marriage plan, I think that's why he's getting the divorce after all these years. I guess I was looking for reassurance that this is ok. My Dad says he probably should have taken care of it long ago but it's ok he's taking care of old business now. What do you think?

I wouldn't, out of sensitivity towards the ex (unless of course they were a knobjockey). More than anything though, I don't understand the rush.

I did. DH was awaiting divorce when we got engaged.

Shellm my thoughts are that at least he wants to marry you! So yes it's ok.

I know a couple of people who separated from their first husband/wife a substantial number of years ago, but who haven't bothered with divorce; and one who only divorced recently, after 10 years separation, purely because he wanted to re-marry - he told me that "he didn't see the point before now"

Thank you EggysMom. Maybe that is just the case here. He knows I won't just move in with him so he also knows we will be marrying if we continue (and I believe we will be). Why leave this for so long, I dont' really understand. But as far as I can tell, he hasn't kept up with her for over 20 years. And she's even in another state. The messaging I saw between them, she doesn't even know he has kids form the last woman he was with. She only made reference to "the girlfriend and property" which was me I think. My Dad says let him clean on the past and dont' worry too much about it. But this thread makes me feel a little better - to know that there are people out there who just don't clean house. So glad you guys are still around! Thank you so much!

Dh refused to get engaged until I was divorced. Glad he did as it made me get my arse in gear.

Thank you Troodiedoo. I will remember this as well. But so far, it appears like he is taken care of it. They are exchanging papers for signature and she is walking it into the Judge soon (They are using some online divorce thing). I snoped where I didn't belong, not I rest on this information that I can't share with him. ;( I even know the case number and password. I just wish I could go in there and see but I think they would know I did it. But I do see that they are moving forward.

I think you have to declare a relationship on the consent order don't you? Intention to remarry. So you wouldn't be keeping it quiet

Unless I've imagined that

Oh bloomin eck. Didn't see the date

No. If I ever got divorced I'd want time to decompress from the relationship. Although I doubt I'd ever marry again. What's the harm in waiting, rather than being technically married to someone else when you get engaged to new person.

My ex wife to hopefully be has done this but is refusing to give me a divorce yet got engaged to her new partner iv wishd them the best of luck for the future ahead yet she wont sign divorce papers im confused any ideas ppl

Old thread

@HeadfucktD This is a thread from 2012.
If you want some responses and support then start your own thread.
But... have you filed for divorce yet?
She can't just refuse. It takes longer but you can start the process!